Tag Archives: the gay men project

Kevin, Writer, Nairobi, Kenya

photo by Kevin Truong

Kevin, in his own words: “Being gay to me is about being myself. Too be honest, I don’t think about it much. I just get on with my business and being myself. I’m a guy attracted to guy and I’m trying to make something of my life and do my best to make this world are better place for all of us.

I’m trying not to worry about the small stuff. That is something I have tended to do lots. I’m fortunate to be living in a beautiful country, it has its challenges, lots of them. There is the societal pressure, pressure to conform, apathy, political challenges, conservatism, etc. Personally, trying to be myself in an environment that is cautious of difference is a challenge. I know this is not unique to Kenya, but it’s the one challenge that I am trying to deal with.

I’ve have many successes, however, I look back at this year and 2014 will always stand out for me. I got my anthology/book on Kenya LGBT stories published which resulted in my public coming out. I’ve met interesting people as a result of Invisible being published. Had conversations with individuals who are struggling with their own sexuality. I’ve been able to tell the Kenyan story and what it’s like to be gay in Kenya and I believe I’ve done a good job of it. I describe myself as a storyteller, which is why I enjoy journalism and I’ve been fortunate to tell an important story.

I’m still on the journey of self-discovery and I’m re-discovering my love for words. I’ve been fortunate to have many successes, because I love trying new things and seeing new things. I’ve surrounded myself with people who have seen something in me and they’ve encouraged me to go out and try and achieve more. I’ve learnt from my family, friends and peers and I’m still learning.

The urge to learn and explore for me is the bedrock of the successes that life has given me. I’m still learning and enjoying this process.

There is a vibrant, yet underground scene in Nairobi. There are networks that support one another, that party together, that play together and that grow together. It may not be out to the public eye like in more liberal societies, but it’s OUT there.

(Advice I’d give my younger self) Don’t be afraid to speak, share your thoughts and question and continue seeing the world, embracing diversity. Don’t be afraid of mistakes no one is perfect.”

Roman, Digital Media Executive, New York City

photo by Kevin Truong

Roman, in his own words: “I have come a long way in understanding and accepting myself as gay. Coming from Moldova, a small and socially conservative Eastern European country ruled by an unstable quasi-Soviet political regime and a highly homophobic society, my road to acceptance has not been simple. For 22 years of my life my family, neighbors and countryman compelled me to live in a society with rigid understanding of traditions imposed by religion, patriarchic social customs, superstitions and old-fashioned rules of acceptable behavior. Being gay in Moldova is nothing short of a life sentence to constant fear, loneliness, rejection, blackmail and torture. Gay people in that country are abused, beaten, raped or killed without getting any protection from local police, media or courts. Homophobia in Moldova is so widespread that gays are considered sub-human and not worthy of mention. After I had my share of bad experiences, I left Moldova and found myself in the United States.

The past three years have not been easy. Years of fear and abuse left a deep imprint on me, yet for the first time in my still rather short life, I found strength to admit to myself and my new friends that I am gay. Now I live in New York. After a multitude of new experiences, I am working on my professional career, feel liberated to seek gay friends and partners and joined a group that provides help to those who, like I, seek freedom to safely live as who they are. I currently volunteer for an amazing not-for-profit organization called No More Fear Foundation based in New York City. It allows me to help other LGBT asylum seekers who run from their native lands to the United States filled with fear, threatened and abused by their countries’ regimes, homophobic societies and their families. Notwithstanding all the pain and fear, I escaped and survived and I am grateful that I am given a chance to help others do the same.

So now I’m happy. I can finally live, breathe, speak and express myself freely without fear. I still have a long way to go, but I am sure that my future is safe and bright.”

Heezy, Artist, Seoul, South Korea

photo by Kevin Truong

Heezy, in his own words: “To me, this is just a very ordinary yet comprehensive question such as ‘what does being human mean to you?’ or ‘what does being a male mean to you?’. I guess being gay is just one of the many phases that describe me. Something like this; I am an artist, I am Korean, I like watching films, oh and I am gay. Never really thought of it seriously from any specific perspective.

So far, I have been successful at being different from other (Korean) people and being somewhat independent. Koreans usually live with their parents and get allowance from their parents until they get married but I moved out in my early twenties. I know it doesn’t look like a big deal to a lot of westerners but here in Seoul – where being different is almost a sin – it was not so easy. Being independent is followed by responsibilities but I still try to keep my young and wild side as well as the sense of humour and the childlike quality. Challenges? Depression, anxiety and money!

I was out to my friends for a while and that happened naturally because most of my friends are very open minded Koreans who have experienced foreign cultures, artists, or non-Koreans. However, my mom was a Korean woman who have never really been outside Korea so I kept postponing coming out to her because I didn’t wanna deal with all the possible dramas that might have followed the coming out. One day, I just thought coming out to her would free me in many ways so I just did it. Though, I had to bring my gay best friend because I needed someone who would support me and encourage me, haha. I grew up with a lot of American TV series with my family so my mom was pretty open minded and there’s was no drama or anything. I’m lucky because a lot of Koreans struggle so much when they come out.

(With regards to the gay community in Seoul) There are two big categories. One is the category of people who are totally or somewhat out. They are usually also very open minded and well-experienced with foreign cultures. They usually hang out in Itaewon where the clubs are. The other is the category of people who are not out. They tend to be conservative and trapped in traditional/old values. They hang out with their tiny group of friends in Jongno where there are Korean style bars. I am supposed to understand and respect both people but I love clubbing so much so I don’t really know people from the latter category.

(Advice I’d give my younger self) Always make enough money so you can be free and independent but don’t turn into a boring person who doesn’t know how to have fun. I know it’s been hard keeping the balance but keep trying and keep being yourself!”