Tag Archives: the gay men project

Evan, Regional Director, Manila, Philippines

photo by Kevin Truong

Evan, in his own words: “Being gay just means being attracted to people of the same sex. That’s it. Everything else — the circles we’re in, the places we go to, the products and services we use, the people we support — these are just incidental things that do not define the LGBT community. My personal journey though as part of the community has exposed me to the unique challenges here in the Philippines. Being gay drives me to shatter stereotypes and fight for rights that we deserve as citizens of the country.

Experiencing discrimination and not enjoying the same rights as straight people do is one of the big challenges I face as a gay man. Like getting married for example. Or being told that I’m bad.

Professionally, I am lucky to have a respectable position in a multinational tech company that supports equality and provides equal opportunities to the LGBT community.

At first I refused to identify as gay, partly because I found the whole label limiting. I had a long coming-out process as I struggled with feelings that I did not fully understand. I was scared to be pigeonholed and stereotyped. Eventually I started telling my friends about being gay. It became an open secret until it wasn’t much of a secret anymore.

Last year was a big breakthrough as a big brand here in the Philippines interviewed Filipino LGBT people, and I got to be part of it. I guess I could say that there was no way to hide it anymore. And it felt good that people treated me the same way after. My coming out fears, it turned out, were all in my head.

There’s still a struggle for acceptance and it drives a lot of people to fear identifying as LGBT. It’s a crazy catch-22 situation: people don’t identify as gay or lesbian or trans or bisexual because they don’t want to be discriminated and stereotyped, but LGBT people continue to be discriminated and stereotyped because we don’t see a lot of diversity. Different LGBT people remain invisible.

That’s changing though. We’re becoming more open and people are shattering misconceptions slowly. We’re fighting against the system, the false images painted by the media. Straight people are starting to realize we’re just like everyone else, that we have the same dreams, aspirations, wishes, and fears as everyone else. We just really want to be loved and to love.

(Advice I’d give my younger self) Believe in the love that people give you. Trust that those who truly love you will love you for being who you are and for being honest with your self. Be kinder and gentler to your self. You don’t have to fit in the images being projected on you. You can be who you are, and yeah, that’s awesome.”

Ryou, Advertising, Tokyo, Japan

photo by Kevin Truong

Ryou, in his own words: “Gay only means this person has a different sexual preference. It doesn’t take away anything from who they are. I’m always looking for somebody who would end up being the same group to me not by skin color or nationality or religion, sexuality, but by lifestyle, sense of value, beliefs and stance and such.I always look pass everyone’s difference. Soon I forget they are gay, bisexual or lesbian because I don’t judge anyone.

Can’t think of (any challenges),but in the next 3 years I have to challenge myself to create my own media.

I haven’t yet (officially) told my mom and dad (I’m gay). When I applied to grad school at the Department of Cultural Anthropology five years ago, I wrote essays about the gay scene in Japan and my parents found it, and asked me about my sexuality. I pretended like it was just a subject and that me myself was straight, and they said okay. They have already noticed, and at the same time don’t want to accept it maybe.

(With regards to the gay scene in Tokyo) I’ve never felt so lame personally. There’re so-so many gay clubs, bars, events. Ni-chōme further distinguishes itself as Tokyo’s hub of gay subculture, housing the world’s highest concentration of gay bars. But that doesn’t mean the city itself is gay friendly.

In the social scene, the dominant trope in mainstream television and journalism is male homosexuality as gender crossing. In other words, male homosexuality is inextricably linked to a form of gender misalignment that results in feminine males. Homosexuality is still a taboo in Japan. Many dialogues are still taking place among queers. LGBT politics in Japan isn’t that simple, but some people are trying to change it.

(this year,Tiga ishikawa<石川大我> aimed to Become japan’s first openly gay parliament member,but he couldn’t.)

(Advice I’d give my younger self) Never try to be somebody who you are really not.”

Nicholás and Felipe, Santiago, Chile

photo by Kevin Truong

Nicholás (left) and Felipe (right) photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

Felipe (left) and Nicholás (right) photo by Kevin Truong

Nicholás, in his own words: “Para mi ser gay, es poder pasar una serie de obstáculos, obstáculos que si sabes llevar bien, puedes ser inmensamente feliz con lo que realmente te gusta, con la persona que puede hacerte feliz, con todo lo que tu escojas.

“Salir de el closet” no fue realmente un problema, primero por que tengo una mamá la cual siempre ha estado abierta a lo que sea, segundo cuando yo asumí y le dije “Mamá soy gay” ella me respondió con un amable “Hijo si lo sabía”, dice que lo sabe desde que nací. Para el resto de mi familia no fue difícil asumir tampoco, hago que ser gay sea lo mas normal posible, sin tener tabú en lo que hablo con ellos.

Si me hablan de comunidad gay, yo no estoy tan inmerso en ella, pero si me informo sobre el Movilh (Movimiento de Integración y Liberación Homosexual) y puedo darme cuenta que es una comunidad muy activa, siempre haciendo eventos y cosas por el estilo, también se han logrado avances a nivel político y social.

Diría que tomara mas riesgos, que viajara, que conociera y en fin que disfrutara mas de todo lo que te va dando la vida, tanto de personas como de momentos.”

In English:

“For me being gay is to pass a series of obstacles, obstacles if you are to overcome, you can be immensely happy with what it is really like to be the person who is happy with everything you choose.

Coming “Out of the closet” was not really a problem, first because I have a mom that has always been open to whatever, second when I said “Mom I’m gay” she replied with a friendly “Son I knew, “says she knows from birth. For the rest of my family it was not difficult either, me being gay is as normal as possible, without taboo as I talk to them.”

If I talk about the gay community, I am not so immersed in it, but if I reported on Movilh (MOVILH) and I realize that it is a very active community, always doing events and so on, they have also made progress on the political and social level.

(Advice I’d give to my younger self) I would say take more risks, to travel, to know and finally enjoy most of all that which is giving you life, both people and moments.

Felipe, in his own words: “Para mi ser gay es mucho más que una condición netamente sexual, nací gay. Crecí sintiéndome diferente al resto sin saber él porque, cuando recién conocí la palabra gay era utilizada como un insulto con el que se buscaba desprestigiar a alguien, escuchaba a la gente refiriéndose a homosexuales como algo enfermo y anormal, es súper difícil pasar por eso siendo un niño. Ser gay ha significado mucho en todo lo que soy ahora, desde tan chico ir contra la corriente cambia la forma en la que ves el mundo, te da una razón para luchar por lo que crees y así generar un cambio por lo menos en las personas que te rodean.

Asumir uno mismo que es homosexual en una sociedad enferma que impone un prototipo de “normalidad” es difícil. Pero que lo aceptara mi familia fue aún más difícil. Nunca les quise decir directamente “Papá, mamá, soy gay” porque sentí que no era necesario. A los 15 años me puse a pololear con la intención de que lo asumieran por si solos y cuando se dieron cuenta me hicieron la vida imposible, pero de alguna forma tenía que hacerlos darse cuenta que los únicos que tenían que cambiar eran ellos y sus prejuicios retrogradas, y así fue. Ahora llevo dos años pololeando con el Nico y ya es como parte de mi familia.

La verdad es que no me gusta cuando se habla de “comunidad gay” porque personalmente no me siento parte de ella, no tengo mucha relación con más homosexuales aparte de mi pololo. Participo en marchas por el respeto y matrimonio igualitario, se han logrado avances legales importantes en el último tiempo y creo que es necesario ser parte de este proceso en el que Chile está de a poquito cambiando.

Si pudiera decirle algo a mi yo del pasado.. No te canses de buscar la verdad ni dejes de cuestionarte las cosas. La vida es demasiado hermosa para desperdiciarla y hay demasiados sueños por cumplir, no dejes que nada ni nadie acabe con ellos.”

In English:

“For me being gay is much more than a purely sexual condition, I was born gay. I grew up feeling different from others without knowing it because, when I first heard the word gay it was used as an insult with which sought to discredit someone, I heard people referring to homosexuals as something sick and abnormal, it is extremely difficult to go through that being a child. Being gay has meant much to what I am now, since the young buck in the system changes the way you see the world, gives you a reason to fight for what you believe and generate a change at least in people around you.

Taking yourself to be homosexual in a sick society that imposes a prototype of “normality” is difficult. Acceptance from my family was even harder. I never wanted to directly say “Dad, Mom, I’m gay” because I felt it was not necessary. At age 15 I began a relationship, and it made my parents realize that the only ones who had to change were them and their prejudices, and it was. Now I have two years been in a relationship with Nico and he’s like part of my family.

The truth is that I do not like when you talk about “gay community” because I do not personally feel a part of it, I have little relationship with other gays than my boyfriend. I’ve participated in marches for respect and equal marriage, there have been significant legal developments in recent times and I think you need to be part of this process in which Chile is changing little by little.

If I could say something to my past .. Do not tire of seeking truth or questioning things. Life is too beautiful to waste with too many dreams to fulfill, do not let anything or anyone end up with them.”