Tag Archives: lgbt

Kenny, Travel Agent, Phnom Penh, Cambodia

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

Kenny, in his own words: “(Being gay) just means instead of having a girlfriend, I’ll have a boyfriend. It’s that simple to me.

The last eighteen years and a half have been a challenge for me. I’m not the smartest kid so I have always had to double the effort in everything that I do just to barely catch up with people. This has been true for almost twenty years of my life, and has been more true ever since I came out. (Greatest success) Finishing college and finishing my masters degree.

(With regards to coming out) (my parents) didn’t yell. They were mad at for another reason at the time, because my grades in college weren’t as I had expected. And then I came out to them, and at the time they didn’t react as horribly as I thought they would. But over time, they went on to make clear their opinion on that matter, which is that they expect me to fulfill my duty, which is to get married and most importantly produce offspring. And I’m clear on their opinions, I’m not sure that I can meet it, and I’m sure that I cannot meet it.

In many ways (the gay community in Phnom Penh) bears some resemblance to the one in Thailand. It’s still a new one, and it’s vibrant, and they are searching for their own identity. All subcultures of gay men in Phnom Penh.

(With regards to advice to my younger self) Stop punishing yourself.”

Christian and Gustavo, Lima, Peru

photo by Kevin Truong

Christian and Gustavo, photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

Christian and Gustavo, photo by Kevin Truong

Christian, in his own words: “Para mi ser gay significa ser sincero conmigo mismo, permitirme expresar lo que siento por la persona a quien amo sin importar las condiciones sociales que presionan para que esto tenga que ser algo oculto e incluso visto como algo malo.

Siempre he considerado que una persona gay no es un ser débil, por el contrario, una persona gay que vive abiertamente su homosexualidad tiene mucho valor, ya que no es fácil luchar contra una sociedad machista y de mentalidad cerrada.

Yo me di cuenta que era gay entre los 17 y 18 años, y debo confesar que fue algo extraño, ya que no era algo que en algún momento hubiera considerado como opción. En un principio se lo conté a mis primos, quienes son como mis hermanos y, luego de terminar mi primera relación, se los conté a mis padres. Hasta el día de hoy considero que fue la peor decisión que tomé en el momento, ya que lo hice bajo efectos del alcohol, y creo que tuvo consecuencias que pude haber evitado si lo hubiera hecho de otra manera. Mis padres no lo tomaron de la mejor manera, ya que son personas muy conservadoras, además me educaron bajo la religión católica desde niño.

Luego de confesarles que era gay, mi papá tuvo un ataque cardíaco y mi mamá se echaba la culpa de la situación. Busqué la forma de alejarme de ellos, ya que pensaba que era la solución en ese momento, y busqué la forma de trabajar en el extranjero para poder escapar de la situación.

Considero que eso me ayudó mucho, ya que permitió que la relación que tengo con mis padres en la actualidad haya madurado de tal forma que mi novio ahora sea bienvenido en mi hogar. El hecho de que mis padres lo acepten y acepten la idea de que es mi pareja y sea tratado con el mismo respeto que a la novia de mi hermano, me hace muy feliz.

Considero que la comunidad gay en Lima no es muy grande, pero algo que me alegra e inspira es saber que hay muchas personas que buscan un futuro de igualdad, en donde uno pueda ser feliz con su respectiva pareja. Sé de muchas personas que han tenido que irse a otro país para llevar una vida “normal” sin presiones de ningún tipo, e incluso puedo decir que yo he considerado esa idea ya que hace un par de años atrás era más complicado ser abiertamente gay.

Si pudiera decirle algo a mi yo de hace ocho años, creo que sería: “Tranquilo, todo va a mejorar por imposible que parezca.”

In English:

“For me being gay means being honest with myself, allowing myself to express what I feel for the person whom I love regardless of social conditions that push for this to be something hidden and even seen as wrong.

I have always thought that a gay person is not a weakling, however, a gay person openly living homosexuality is valuable because it is not easy to fight a sexist and closed-minded society.

I realized I was gay between 17 and 18 years, and I must confess that it was strange as it was not something that at the time had been considered as an option. At first I told my cousins, who are like my brothers and after finishing my first relationship, I told my parents. To this day I believe that was the worst decision I made at the time, as I did it under the influence of alcohol, and I think it had consequences that could have been avoided if I had done it otherwise. My parents did not take it in the best way, because they are very conservative people, plus I was raised in the Catholic religion as a child.

After I confessed that I was gay, my dad had a heart attack and my mother blamed me for the situation. I looked for a way to get away from them because they thought it was the solution at the time, and looked for a way to work abroad to escape the situation.

I think that helped me a lot, and that allowed the relationship I have with my parents now to mature so that my boyfriend is now welcome to my home. The fact that my parents accept it and accept my partner and treats him with the same respect as my brother’s girlfriend, makes me very happy.

I think the gay community in Lima is not great, but something that makes me happy and inspiring is to know that there are many people who seek a future of equality, where one can be happy with their respective partners. I know of many people who have had to go to another country to live a “normal” life without pressure of any kind, and I can even say that I have considered the idea since a couple of years ago was more difficult to be openly gay.

If I could say something to my younger self, I think it would be: “Quiet, everything will get better as impossible as it may seem.”

Gustavo, in his own words: “No considero que ser gay sea algo raro, porque yo no me siento raro, no me siento diferente a los demás; sin embargo, considero que ser gay y vivir feliz con eso es la valentía más grande que una persona puede llegar a tener en medio de una situación constante de juicio, desagrado y desprecio que tiene la sociedad ante las personas homosexuales.

Se necesita demasiado valor y una autoestima muy fuerte para poder vivir feliz, ya que la sociedad va a ocuparse de convencerte de que la forma en la que vives es abominable, y van a tratar de cambiarte a lo que ellos consideran que está bien solo por la idea egoísta de que a ellos no les agrada tu forma de vivir, entonces van a tratar de cambiarte a algo que a ellos les agrade. Creo que la gente y la sociedad en general le tiene miedo a lo “diferente”, a lo que no piensa como ellos, entonces por instinto, buscan moldearlo a lo que a ellos les agrade para sentir que todo está en orden.

Realmente nunca me puse a pensar en qué momento me di cuenta que era gay, ya que llegaba a enamorarme fuertemente de la esencia de las personas, sin importarme si eran hombre o mujer, eventualmente desarrollé un gusto mayor por el sexo masculino. Sinceramente no recuerdo cuándo ocurrió exactamente, pero si tuviera que ponerle una edad, sería entre los 20 y 21 años.

Mis padres se enteraron cuando mi madre tomó mi celular y vio una conversación mía con un amigo a quien le contaba que yo ya tenía dos meses con mi pareja y que era muy feliz con él. Inmediatamente me llamó a su cuarto y me preguntó qué significaba toda esa conversación, y le expliqué la situación, se echó a su cama a llorar y a preguntarme desde cuándo era gay, y recuerdo que en mi mente pensaba “no lo sé”, ya que realmente nunca lo había pensado. Luego mi padre escuchó la conversación, entró a la habitación, se echó en la cama al lado de mi madre y con calma me hizo una serie de preguntas más pensadas sin dejarse llevar por la desesperación; sin embargo, no podía dejar de pensar que les había hecho demasiado daño en ese momento.
El sentimiento de culpa es otro factor con el que se tiene que lidiar, porque una persona no decide ser gay, solo es como es y listo. Si se pudiera elegir entre ser gay y no serlo, creo que nadie elegiría este camino tan complicado y lleno de juicios malintencionados, ¿no creen?. Y para hacer mucho más complicada la situación, el mismo día que mis papás se enteran, yo decido cortar con mi pareja llevado por un sentimiento de culpa, ya que pensaba que si seguía con la relación, les iba a hacer más daño a mis padres.

Luego de un tiempo retomé mi relación, y hasta la actualidad no me arrepiento de haber cortado con él en ese momento ya que ese tiempo que estuve solo lo dediqué a pensar si es que es justo que por otras personas yo tenga que sacrificar mi felicidad. Ese es otro factor importante en la vida de una persona, sea gay o no, ya que a veces hay que ser egoístas con los sentimientos de tus seres queridos a quienes ves sufrir, en este caso por tu opción sexual, si es que en verdad quieres ser feliz tú. Con el tiempo se van a dar cuenta de que eres feliz, y si realmente te quieren, ellos también lo serán.

Para terminar, si pudiera decirle algo a mi yo del pasado, le diría que para llegar a ser feliz, primero tiene que costarte unas cuantas tristezas de las cuales siempre tienes que rescatar lo mejor, y aprender de eso. Por otro lado, ser feliz solo va a depender de ti mismo y de la actitud que tengas frente a la situación, ya que si sabes vivir como eres y te aceptas a ti mismo, los demás van a tomar la misma actitud contigo.”

In English:

“I do not think that being gay is something wrong, because I do not feel weird, I do not feel different from others; However, I believe that being gay and living happily with that is the greatest courage that a person can have in the middle of a constant state of judgment, disgust and contempt that society has with gay people.

It takes much value and a strong self-esteem to live happy, and society will take care to convince you that the way you live is abominable, and will try to change you into what they think is right just because of the selfish idea that they do not like the way you live, then they will try to change you into something that pleases them. I think people and society in general are afraid of things that are “different” to what is like them, and instinctively seeks to mold that difference to what pleases them to feel that everything is in order.

I never really got to thinking about at what time I realized I was gay, because falling in love came strongly with the essence of people, whether they were male or female, eventually I developed a greater taste for men. Honestly I do not remember exactly when it happened, but if I had to pick an age, it would be between 20 and 21 years.

My parents found out when my mother took my phone and saw a conversation with a friend of mine who told him that I already had two months with my partner and was very happy with it. Immediately she called me to her room and asked me what all this talk was about, and I explained the situation, she took to her bed to mourn and wonder why I was gay, and I remember that in my mind I thought “I do not know” as I had never really thought about. Then my father heard the conversation, entered the room, sat on the bed next to my mother and calmly asked me a series of questions designed more unencumbered by despair; however, I could not help thinking that there was too much damage done to them at the time.

Guilt is another factor which I have had to deal with, because a person does not choose to be gay, it just is as it is. If you could choose between being gay and not, I don’t think anyone would choose this path so complicated and full of malicious lawsuits, right? And to make things more complicated, the same day my parents found out, I decide to cut out my partner led by a sense of guilt, because I thought that if I kept the relationship, it would do more damage to my parents.

After a while I resumed my relationship, and even now I do not regret having cut him at that time because that time I was just so devoted to wondering if it was fair that I had to sacrifice my happiness for other people. This is another important step in life, whether gay or not, because sometimes you have to be selfish with the feelings of your loved ones who you see are suffering, in this case by your sexual preference, if you really you want to be happy. Eventually they will realize that you are happy, and if they really want to, they will be happy also.

Finally, if I could say something to my younger self, I would say that in order to be happy, you first have to experience a few sorrows of which always you will always be rescued and learn from. On the other hand, being happy is going to depend on yourself and the attitude you have to deal with the situation, because if you know how to live as you are and you accept yourself, others will take the same attitude with you.”

Matheus, Fashion Producer, São Paulo, Brazil

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

Matheus, in his own words: “Actually I think being gay it’s not something that has a meaning for me, it’s a part of who I am just as being black or being tall.

I think the worst part of being gay it’s trying to fit in and find your place and sometimes being a little bit afraid of other people’s comments and reactions.

The gay community in Brazil in Sao Paulo is very diversed, I think there is a place for everyone twinks, bears, fashionistas and etc… and even for people that don’t like labels. hehehee

When I came out to my family I wanted to tell my father first because we have more of a open and straight foward relationship, but my sister who already knew at the time, convinced me to tell my mother first. My mom literally freaked out, and because of that started a little family war between the two of us, that lasted for almost a year. After things calmed down a little bit I told my father , he wasn’t that open minded, but he was supportive in his own silent way, and for that I’m very thankfull, because after I told him the bickering between me and my mom ended, and things actually started to get better.

Advice I’d give to anyone (who hasn’t come out) is, be patient to others,, it’s a process, sometimes you have to put yourself in someone elses shoes to understand their heads. and just be strong. being gay it’s not the end of the world, it’s just the beggining. hehee”