Tag Archives: coming out

Randy, PR Marketing/Event Coordinator, Portland, Oregon

photo by Kevin Truong

Randy, in his own words: “Being gay means Im really no different than any other human other than what i may or may not do in the bedroom. I make my bed, wash my clothes, take out the trash, pay my bills, go to the movies… just like any one else would.

My challenges in life have usually revolved around being patient; being patient w people, events, and circumstances. Ive had numerous successes throughout my life, my career and in my personal and professional relationships.

There is no gay community per say here in Portland. The GLBTQ citizens is interspersed throughout the many communities, the burbs and farmlands here. We are woven as threads into the colorful fabric of each and every community.

(With regards to coming out ) When I was 11 y/o I had made fast friends with a student from Japan. He taught me how to masturbate, and one day I had written a letter to my j/o buddy. I had intended to mail it to him, but my father found it first. He was not having any part of my being involved with a man. I was told it was just a phase I was going through and to forget about it, and never to see him again. For the next 3 years I would do just that. In my 20s, I didn’t feel a need to “come out”, I just assumed everyone knew that I was gay because I never had girlfriends; never brought a girl to family gatherings. When I did tell certain straight male friends I was gay, they dropped my like a lead anvil. Its sad to think that I was “ok” with them, when hanging out and getting stoned, but my sexuality would make them extremely uncomfortable, even without discussing sex, or trying to “convert them”. LOL

I would tell my younger self to remember… God made you in His image and likeness, and that he does not make junk! You are your father’s son, and a gift unto this world, your family, friends and the community in which you will live. But most importantly, you DO make a difference in people’s lives. Be kind to yourself when you feel less than, and embrace the Allness of your whole self. Not everyone will like you, but thats not important, what is important is that YOU like you, and to love yourself wholly and unconditionally.”

Brett, Database Analyst, Little Rock, Arkansas

photo by Kevin Truong

Brett, in his own words: “Being gay is my sexual identity. Being gay plays a large role in the choices I make politically. I am not a one issue voter, but gay rights and marriage equality are extremely important.

The biggest challenge that I have had is recovering from pneumocystis in 1996. I spent 7 weeks in the hospital that summer. The biggest success is the recovery of my immune system after protease inhibitors were created in 1996. Perfect timing.

The gay community in Little Rock and central Arkansas is like most areas now. There is still some discrimination, but for the most part gays live, work and play along side everyone else. We’re in the same struggle as most states over marriage equality and waiting to see how far up the courts it goes. Was a beautiful summer here going to weddings of same sex couples.

I came out at 19 while in the Navy. A buddy in boot camp said he knew I was gay and took me to my first gay bar in Orlando, FL in 1982. I really never had any issue after that. My family gave me hell over it for a few years, then they got over it.

I would tell my younger self to relax and don’t sweat the small stuff.”

Terry, Comic Book Artist, Portland, Oregon

photo by Kevin Truong

Terry, in his own words: “I like to think that to me, being gay means simply that I am attracted to the same gender. Where I grew up if you didn’t play sports, you were gay or got called gay, so I though that liking art and music and anything that wasn’t football was closely associated with being gay. To some degree, maybe it is, but having seen a good portion of the world and meeting more gay people who have varied interests and desires helps me see that what makes us similar is merely who we are attracted to.

The challenges I’ve had I think have been personal, meaning, I had to learn to accept myself so I could find the strength to tell those who didn’t accept me that their opinion of who I am doesn’t matter. It’s not easy to focus and be productive in any kind of work if you are constantly worried what others think of who you are. The successes I’ve had? I suppose finishing art school, running a web comic I’m proud of and joining a terrific studio full of great artists here in Portland, Periscope Studio.

I’m not sure how I would identify the gay community in Portland. I tend to gravitate towards making friends and fostering great relationships more through game nights and movie nights and books clubs than going out to bars. I haven’t ever wanted to categorize or assume what the gay community would be like through my experiences at a bar or a club. I don’t feel that’s accurate. Peacock in the Park was fantastic as I felt a sense of community from Portland gays that day.

I came out to most of my friends once I came home from my two year stint as a Mormon missionary, but that was a bit easier considering I moved far away from my family. Several years ago I came out to my sister who was great but a year after that I came out to my parents through a letter. I felt it was the best way I knew for me to get out everything I wanted to say without being interrupted and leave the ball in their court. It didn’t go too well at first, but things are getting better.

I would tell my younger self to save more money and finish college quicker.”

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