Tag Archives: the gay men project

Dennis and Dan, Floral Arranger and Retired Cop, New York City

photo by Kevin Truong

Dan, in his own words: “(Being gay) Doesn’t rule my life as I consider myself and Dennis to be just like other guys with the difference being sexual desire. I have not as of yet faced blatant discrimination as a gay man, however, I am aware of comments made by people who do not know that I am a gay man. When I ask for benefits or apply for anything involving administration changes for my spouse, I am always asked “what is your wife’s name?” Seems that America is still not used to same sex marriage.

I never had an official coming out event but just started being more honest with people who wanted to know. Certainly surviving Sept 11th, 2001 made my decision to be more open a fact.

New York is not truly representative of what gay men are really like. There seems to be a lot of the bad traits here in New York City with alcohol, drug, substance abuse and lack of self esteem taking a front seat. So many young men gravitate to NYC to escape their inability to be who they want in their original locales. Being gay is not all about vanity, clubs, living in gay neighborhoods, only hanging out with gay men and only frequenting gay establishments. It seems that our desire to be only amongst our own kind leads to a line between us and the heterosexual community.”

A Note from Oklahoma City…

“What you are doing is absolutely inspiring and I’ve just been reading several articles on your website, and it feels as if I just had a booster load of support pumped up within me, such as the article from Bond the scientist. Im really really inspired by your work. Please keep in touch. It is such unique and yet powerful resources for many gay men, and your website is contemporary and sleek. I love it. It really helped a semi-closeted gay male like me. Thank you.

ZD”

(hey ZD, thanks so much for writing! i hope to make it to the bible belt of America, to start showing the true diversity of gay men in our country. Lots of love, kev)

Donnie, Assistant Director, Visiting from Boston

photo by Kevin Truong

Donnie, in his own words: “Being gay means to me that I have to take on the world in ways that people think are not possible. I believe that people assume from the beginning when they meet a gay person that we are going to be to much to handle and have no values. But I have always known that I was different and that at the same time wanted to compete in the world with the big dogs. Being gay means to me just having my say in the world.

I have some amazing people in my life and the only challenge that I feel that I have faced was not feeling like I could come out sooner. I have learned that you have to love yourself before anyone can love you. That is something that I’m learning everyday of my life because at times I’m allowing others to love me and return forget about self loving.

When it comes to the gay scene in Boston I often wonder myself what is it. I have not experience much of the gay scene here and I don’t think that I really want to. The New York scene is a scene that I think is very interesting. There are places that I have been that are just full of men who are on the down low to places were you meet gay men who are working in Education to Finance. I think the NY scene is one of the most amazing scenes I have witnessed and at the same time as I get old my scene continues to change.

(With regards to my coming out story) On September 12, 2009 I remember waking up crying because I had to call and tell my father that I was in fact gay. That was the hardest thing that I have ever had to do and I was so relieved that I felt so comfortable telling all of my friends. I don’t think of myself as someone who came out. I just feel that I allowed myself to feel comfortable with my sexuality and wanted to feel comfortable in the place I was at the time. My friends were totally fine with the fact that I was gay and if they weren’t it wouldn’t really matter because I needed to be happy.”