I’m a performer, so sometimes I get to put on dresses .People always laugh. I don’t like wearing them because my goodies get cold from the wind.

I think the season for challenging who I am is almost over, or, more to the point – the season for me paying attention to naysayers is coming to a close. The gay scene in New York is supportive, judgmental, warm hearted, bitchy, uplifting and mean.

Mean is a math term that means average. I’ve always tested above average. Just slightly, I’d say.

I went through a phase in high school. People threw rocks at me, so I made them laugh a lot. Then I practiced. I sang, played instruments, spoke languages, invented languages with my brothers, and lovers.

I don’t want to paint myself a victim. I won acting and writing awards. I was class president. Swim team captain. By the end of school I had lovely, wonderful friends.

My teachers were supportive or cruel, depending on my classes. Sometimes they were both supportive and cruel.

My favorite teacher ever was a man named Jose Quintero. He directed the first runs of many Tennessee Williams plays.

I kept a diary in high school. I still do.

I like Vonnegut and French existentialists. I want to ruminate on the Tao.

Together As One.

I’m learning to meditate so I can forgive myself for the voice in my head that says I’m not good enough.