Tag Archives: the gay men project

Ryan and Hunter, Raleigh, North Carolina

photo by Kevin Truong

Photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

Hunter, in his own words:“My name is Hunter. I am a 22 year-old native of North Carolina currently living at Lake Tahoe in Nevada. I came out of the closet Valentines day of last year. My journey out of the closet and becoming who I am today is one I am proud to share; however, finding the love of my life is why I am emailing you today.

I met Ryan mid-august of 2013 in Raleigh, NC via OkCupid. Both of us were definite “haters” of online dating but participated due to deviant peer pressure of friends. I was on the verge of deleting my account since I had plans to move to Nevada in a week but one night Ryan messaged me asking to hang out. Ryan had just moved to Raleigh from Clemson, SC and was looking for someone to casually hang out with and show him the city. Thinking this was a harmless commitment, I said yes! It was a night of random story sharing and me serving as an obnoxious city tour guide. I felt a connection.

We parted ways with a kiss I wanted to last forever but knew had no future. That was it, so i thought. I went back home, packed my belongings and hit the road to Nevada. Each day away from him I could not help but dream about how wonderful of a guy he was. We maintained communication throughout my trip and settling in, both knowing we were avoiding the reality that we would never see each other again. A month went by and we only grew closer. Every night we would talk or skype just because. I knew I liked him and he the same but we were both denying any form of relationship. Mid-september I made up an excuse to return to Raleigh to “catch-up with friends” and he and I can hang out. I booked my flight and headed east. I landed in Raleigh and there he was, standing at baggage claim waiting for me. I knew from his smile and our embrace that this was more then a friendship. The brief visit seemed like a lifetime of bliss. The whole time I had this feeling inside that I had not felt before and too confused to talk about it. Love.

Standing before security, back at the airport, we stared in to each others eyes, both full of tears, knowing exactly how momentous the visit was and how much we truly cared for each other. We had both found love for the first time.

Ever since that September visit we see each other once a month for an extended weekend in a place of our choice ( San Diego on March 14th!!). We are 2700 miles a part for now but every day, every hour, every minute I’m with him, I know I have found love. Ryan is the love of my life and I want to share our story for all to hear and understand that it does exists no matter how shitty things are. I am planning to move back to Raleigh and back to Ryan for I will do anything to be in his arms and see his face every day for the rest of my life.

Thank you for all you are doing Kevin. Your story and project inspires me. I would love to be a part of your project if you are looking for participants.

Stay strong.”

Mark and Wayne, Pigeon Forge, Tennessee

photo by Kevin Truong

Mark, in his own words: “Being gay has meant different things to me at different times of my life. In the early years it was a burden. Being raised in the south and in a Christian home, my family had very strict beliefs. And being gay did not fit at all. I mean you can’t blame them for that, Mama and Daddy taught us what they “thought” was correct and to them, being gay was a sin. You teach what you know I guess. So I struggled for a long time with that. At this point in my life I could never imagine not being gay, it’s normal. I have a fantastic life with a great man and a loving family. I’m truly blessed. I suppose I have been lucky, I have not had many challenges in my life as far as being gay goes.

Wayne and I stay so busy with work that we don’t have much of a social life. We have a handful of wonderful friends. A good night out for us is getting together with them for great food and drinks and just to catch up. I really don’t feel connected with the gay community here in Pigeon Forge and Sevierville maybe because most people drift through the area and tend not to settle here, so the scene changes every few years.

If I could go back many years and give my younger self advice there would be two things: I never really knew what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wanted to entertain people that much I knew for a fact. But as far as college went I was just not that into it because nothing at all interested me at the time. So first I would tell myself to go to culinary school. I would love to have been able to go fresh out of high school. I still would. Second I would simply say this “Days are long and masturbation is fun. Go for it!! You won’t go to Hell for playing with it!” Do you know how much I suffered over that? Too much!”

Wayne, in his own words: “I have been very fortunate and blessed to have had a 35 year career as a professional dancer/singer/actor/choreographer. This life has allowed me to travel the world in ballet and jazz companies, revues, television, movies, the cruise industry, cabaret and theme parks. I have loved every minute of it. I am glad I decided to put down roots in east Tennessee which is where I met my best friend and partner Mark. We have endured it all for the last 19 years, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I love grocery shopping and couponing, which helps with our addiction to the kitchen. We spend most of our time planning and creating food. Most of the time it is worth the happy dance…food should make you happy and worthy of a dance!

Other than the love for our four legged children and the love of crafting, which I take much pride in, I have a simple and complicated life like everyone else. Life is way too short to not enjoy each day that is given to us. Make the best of each of them. Happiness is not a goal, it is a journey.

As far as coming out…I don’t think I ever did. By that I mean that I always knew even as a young child. And I was fine with that. I didn’t feel that it was wrong and I never lied about it. I didn’t flaunt it but if someone would ask I would tell them the truth. My senior year of high school I was working with and then dating a man that was 20 years older than myself. I never thought of the age difference and I was the one that chased him till he gave in. My parents kept on and on about the time we were spending together, so I asked them what they wanted to know. Dad finally cornered me while I was cleaning out my closet (I know…how perfect) and asked me “Are you seeing ***** because he is gay?” To which I replied “No I am seeing him because I think I am in love with him”. They had some issues to deal with of their own but I was never disowned or kicked out of the house. I have wonderful parents, brothers, nieces and nephews and in laws that love and support us both. I wish the same for everyone else.”

Jacob and Sam, Business Owner and Operations Manager, Sevierville, Tennessee

photo by Kevin Truong

Jacob, in his own words: “I see (being gay) as an exciting challenge that makes life that much more interesting.

Being born gay to a farming family in the rural areas of South Carolina was horrible. I hated life, myself and most of the people around me including my father. It wasn’t until I moved to Tennessee and came out that I found love in my heart for that man.

My successes? Finally when I was around 27, I found self worth. I had auditioned for a singing job (which was why I moved to TN) and I got the job! It would end up being the best (nearly) 10 years of my life up to that point. At the same time I started a small multimedia business which also became successful.

Today I no longer sing (I do miss it). Instead I run my business which I’m extremely proud of. We have many wonderful clients but the one that brings me the most joy is Dolly Parton’s Imagination Library. It’s a program that Dolly started that gives kids free books all across America, Australia, Canada and the United Kingdom.

So, each month when nearly 3/4 million kids get their free book, I’m filled with joy knowing my little company had a hand in that.

My dad would have been so proud of that and my former singing job but sadly he never knew. He died before I got a chance to tell him I loved him and before I had any real success. As a matter of fact, when I was home for his funeral, I found out that I got the singing job.

(With regards to the gay community in Sevierville) Ha! What gay community? No really, we have our close network of gay and straight friends but there’s no “gay scene” here like it is in Knoxville or Nashville.

(Advice I’d give my younger self) There’s a kid in Bristol that you need to meet as soon as possible. His name is Sam. Go find him and never let him go.

Sam, in his own words: “Being gay is just a part of me. It took a few years after high school to be comfortable enough with myself to tell anyone. The first person I told was my boss, who is still a really good friend. Telling my family was a little more difficult but after the initial conversation my family accepted it and still loved me like they always did. Coming out is a life long process because you’re always meeting new people. Our society has changed a lot in the 14 years since high school because back then I didn’t know anyone openly gay in school and now it’s commonplace to be out. I sometimes feel like I lost all the fun times in my teenage years because I wasn’t the real me. All the decisions I made and paths that I took led me to one spectacular man that I’ve shared my life with for the past 10 years and I wouldn’t want it any other way.”