Tag Archives: the gay men project

Kyungtae, Professor, Seoul, South Korea

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong


Kyungtae, in his own words: “(Being gay) means surely that I can see the world in different ways more than just having sex with men. I was raised in a very conservative town so if I were not gay, it would be hard for me to care about all the minorities repressed in this society. Ultimately, I hope being gay leads me to invent my own way of an ethical life which doesn’t stick to not only the traditional heteronormativity but also the globalized homonormativity to cope with the contradiction and impasse of neo-liberalist value.

You know, there are very few celebrities who are openly coming-out in Korea. In 2000, a famous actor Hong Suk-chun came out under the unavoidable situation and was soon removed from all the shows he appeared in. So some of the furious gay community made a group to support Hong’s coming-out, in which I attended plucking up the courage. At that time, I was only 21 years-old and I got started my career as a gay activist through this group.

Now I’m writing a dissertation for my Ph.D in film studies. It’s about Korean queer films. Before that, I also wrote a master’s thesis dealing with the same subject and the title is ‘The Ethics of Representation in Korean Male Homosexual Cinema’. When I finished my thesis in 2008, it happened that it was the first thesis wholly dedicated to Korean queer films in Korea.

I have only one sibling who is a brother and a year younger than me. One day, he called me drunkenly and asked me when I was supposed to tell him the fact that I was gay. I was too shocked to say anything for a moment. It might be that he found my writings about homosexuality on the internet. He said he waited with patience for my coming out researching homosexuality everyday to understand me, and was worried about the worst situation caused by my sexuality such as suicide or AIDS. He cared about me just as his precious brother per se so it didn’t matter to him that I was gay. I’m so thankful for his careful concern.

Actually, I don’t know exactly what’s the difference between gay community in Seoul and ones in other Asian major cities such as Tokyo, Taipei and Singapore. I think they are getting more similar to one another with all the bigger circuit parties and pride parade. That’s a kind of global trend in gay scene, but rather I can find the notable difference in the more organized homophobia force based on Christian fundamentalism in Seoul than any other Asian cities.

(Advice I’d give my younger self) Travel a lot and meet more various people! These days, there are many opportunities to communicate with all kinds of guys around the world on social network services like Facebook and Tweet etc. I should have used them more actively for travel and face to face contact.”

Calvin, Cancer Advocate, Alexandria, Virginia

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

Calvin, in his own words:“Would love to be a part of this project. Why you may ask? I’m gay and about to be 54 years old and feel I haven’t accomplish much in life but now want to change that.

All my life I have been a victim of spiritual abuse. I say this because I was raised in a religious home but never felt like I was totally accepted. I knew something was different. I felt this at a very young age, and then I found out I was adopted. Nothing wrong with that. I had an amazing adopted mother who had no idea her son was being abused from a very young age and all that confused me. So much now later, in my years I have dealt with depression, shame, anxiety–all because I feel I’m doomed because I choose to be gay. I’m even in a relationship. It’s been 19 years and I love him very much, but my demons of hell haunts me everyday. But I hope there is truly a light at the end of the tunnel, as I’ve heard it said today.

I have been advocating for anal cancer, I was diagnosed a month after we lost Farrah Fawcett to the same cancer and I was blessed to survive this cancer, this rare cancer that many still don’t want to talk about–but I can’t do that. I have to advocate. I so much want to draw more awareness, it’s definitely needed and I do have some support. Now I made my own facebook page titled, Anal Cancer Is a Pain in the Butt Literally. It has 93 followers and I’m so excited about that. This is something I have to do, we must educate people that this cancer is very real and it’s even on the rise. Plus I know this wasn’t a curse from god, nor did I get it from being an “assf*cker” as one so called supporter told me because I used a ribbon for a profile pic that she felt was hers alone. It’s so much more than a ribbon to me. I would love to be featured here and at the same time get more word out about anal cancer.”

Mike, Actor, Paris, France

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

Mike, in his own words:“Aujourd’hui, être gay signifie surtout une envie de ne plus avoir à se définir comme tel, à le préciser. C’est aimer quelqu’un du même sexe. C’est mettre un mot sur cette attirance. C’est déjà tellement compliqué de devenir un Homme… Mais s’il faut réellement le définir, je pense que c’est une quête de soi perpétuel, pour s’accepter et être enfin épanoui. S’aimer en tant qu’Homme, gay, hétéro, étranger, etc… C’est la clé pour vivre et faire face à n’importe quel obstacle à venir.

Ma plus belle réussite a été de pouvoir m’installer à Paris, seul et de vivre de ma passion. J’ai une chance inouie de poursuivre mon rêve. Le soutien familial est très important et je les remercie infiniment d’être derrière moi.

Le gros challenge a été de manifester pour le mariage gay. Beaucoup de gens ont milité pour que les jeunes de ma génération soient mieux intégrés, moins rejetés. Ils ont parfois dû affronter pire que ce à quoi nous avons fait face. Le chemin est déjà tout tracé mais il reste des choses à faire, alors si je peux faire partie des prochaines victoires et d’un avenir meilleur, je n’hésite pas.

J’ai annoncé à ma mère très tôt que j’étais attiré par les garçons. Elle est chorégraphe, donc elle a côtoyé beaucoup d’homosexuels. Elle en a même aidé à faire leur coming-out. Mais elle n’a pas réagi de façon très positive avec moi. Elle pensait avoir raté quelque chose en tant que mère. Et puis, elle s’est renseignée, elle a lu des bouquins, elle a fait face à sa peur de l’inconnu. Elle a compris au final que ce qui l’importait plus, était mon bonheur.

Quelques années plus tard, je l’ai annoncé à mon père également. Etant plus mature, j’ai pu amener la chose autrement qu’avec ma mère. J’étais très clair dans mes propos, très sûr de moi. Peu importe sa réaction, ça ne changerait rien à mon bonheur de savoir qui je suis. Il l’a pris avec beaucoup de philosophie et cela nous a énormément rapproché lui et moi.

Le milieu gay évolue pas mal à Paris, on observe une désertion du Marais. Certains lieux ferment malheureusement, comme des libraires, pour laisser la place à de grandes insignes… Plutôt que d’attirer, ça fait fuir la plupart. Il est toujours agréable de s’y balader, d’y boire un verre. Mais les gays migrent un peu ailleurs. Mais ce qui me plaît énormément dans ce milieu, c’est la diversité, tout le monde est différent. Je rencontre des personnes de différents métiers, âges, rangs sociaux. Depuis le mariage gay, il y a une autre énergie également entre nous. Plus de soutien, de bienveillance, moins de jugements entre les gays eux-mêmes.

Si je me trouvais face à moi plus jeune, je m’encouragerais à continuer dans ma direction, sans peur. A continuer de croire en mes valeurs et de ne surtout pas me juger si parfois la vie me fait dévier. Ce n’est rien de mal. Ca fait partie des expériences par lesquelles il faut passer. Et surtout, je me dirais qu’on n’y est pas encore arrivé mais qu’entre temps, il y a eu de très belles choses à vivre et qu’il en reste encore beaucoup à découvrir.”

In English:

“Today, being gay mostly means a desire to not have to define yourself as “gay”, to not have to mention it. It’s about loving someone who has the same sex. It’s about putting a word on this. It’s already so difficult to be a Man…. But if I have to define it, I think it’s a constant self-discovery, to accept who you are and be finally happy. To love yourself as a Man, Gay, straight, or stranger, etc… It’s the key to live and be strong for everything coming !

My biggest success was to live in Paris, alone and for my passion. I am really lucky to purchase my dream. My family’s support is really important and I thank them a lot for that.

The challenge was to fight for gay Marriage equality. So many people did a lot for my young generation, so we can be better in this life. Sometimes they had to go through worse things than us. There is still a lot to do but If I can be a part of the next victories and a better future, I don’t hesitate.

I told my mother really early that I liked men. She is a choreographer, so she has met a lot of gays. She helped a few for their coming-out. But she didn’t react that well with me. She thought she had missed something as a mother. And then she learned, read books about it, she faced her fear of the unknown. She understood that what was most valued, was my happiness.

A few years later, I told my dad. I was more mature, so I handled it better than with my mom. However he would react, it wouldn’t change a thing about my happiness and who I am. He took it with a lot of philosophy and we became closer.

The gay community evolves in Paris. “Le Marais” is deserted by us. A few places are closing, libraries, for bigger spots… And it’s not for the best, it makes us leave! But it’s still nice to walk over there, have a drink. Gays are going in other places.

What I like the most in this community is the diversity, everyone is different. I meet different kinds of people, doing different jobs, different ages, social ranks. Since Gay Marriage equality, there is another energy between us. We feel more together.

If I was in front of my younger self, I would push me to continue in my direction, with no fear. To still believe in my values, and to not be too hard on myself if sometimes I go a little bit far from myself. It’s nothing wrong. It’s part of experiences I have to pass through. And I would mostly tell myself that we are not there yet but there have been a lot of beautiful things and a lot more are coming.”