Tag Archives: rio de janeiro

João Victor, Engineer, Rio De Janeiro

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

João, in his own words: “I had my sexuality stamped on me by other people when I didn’t even had traces of some kind of sexual drive. When I first noticed that I was different from the other boys, when I finally understood the looks, the giggles, the bullying I had nothing to do but to deny to myself who I was and do my best to fit in that world that I had been told that I didn’t belong to. I had to be straight. That goal made me put so much effort and energy trying to be something different that I ended up stuck in an unhappy middle.

My coming out was a long and calculated process. It started with me proving to myself that I was no worse than anyone else based solely on being gay and ended after some tequila shots in the arms of a polish guy in a club in Barcelona. That moment, when I finally allowed myself to touch a man in a sexual way, that was my coming out. I was 22 and I finally felt free.

Telling my friends and family that I was gay wasn’t hard. Again, it took me a little while and some planning to absorb everything that was I going through before spreading the word. I was happy and I wanted to share that. I have the most amazing supporting family and, as I predicted, they could not have had a better reaction.

During my so called coming out process, I surrounded myself with friends that I knew that wouldn’t make a big deal out of my sexuality. Most of them weren’t surprised and some couldn’t wait any longer for that moment.

For people to deal with my sexual orientation naturally I also try to deal with it as naturally as possible. In Rio, especially in Ipanema where I live, I feel safe and always walk hand in hand with my boyfriend. I never hesitate to hug or kiss him in public places. In these moments, the “I don’t belong here” feeling that I mentioned vanishes completely.

When you asked me if I could give any advice to myself before coming out, I’d say:

Man, surround yourself with kind people and be kind!”

Alex and Candido, Engineer and Tax Lawyer, Rio De Janeiro

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

Alex and Candido, in their own Portuguese words: “O que ser gay significa para nós?

Ser gay na verdade é ter coragem de se assumir gay. Boa parte do preconceito está dentro de nós mesmos, nas nossas fantasias sobre o que a família e sociedade pensam de nós. A partir do momento em que você se despe dos seus próprios preconceitos e medos, ser gay se torna nada mais do que uma característica pessoal assim como tanta outras. Ser gay não nos define como alguém que faça parte de um grupo diferente, para nós, simplesmente significa que em termos de relacionamento amoroso nos sentimos completos com alguém do mesmo sexo. Somos apenas duas pessoas comuns que decidiram seguir a vida juntos.

Quais os desafios e sucesso nós tivemos?

O maior desafio em relação a ser gay foi superar os nossos próprios preconceitos e entender que ser gay não nos fazia diferentes ou menos respeitáveis. Assumir-se gay para a família foi um desafio que aos poucos fomos superando. Mas nós pensamos que esse desafio na verdade se tornou o nosso maior sucesso. Ser amado, aceito e acolhido pelos nossos pais, irmãos e demais familiares foi algo sem dúvida muito gratificante. Não há nada mais lindo hoje do que ver a felicidade de uma mãe ajudando nos preparativos do nosso casamento e de uma avó, uma senhora de 83 anos, toda orgulhosa por ter sido convidada por nós para levar nossas alianças ao altar.

Como é a comunidade gay no Rio de Janeiro?

Acho que é igual a todos os demais lugares do mundo. hehehe Atualmente estamos mais focados na nossa vida em família e nas nossas profissões. Não pensamos muito em nós como parte de uma comunidade gay segregada. Nos vemos como gays que fazem parte de uma sociedade composta por gays, héteros, crianças, idosos, casados, solteiros, etc.

Como foi sair do armário?

Bem, foi diferente para cada um de nós. Candido se assumiu muito mais cedo e teve mais problemas com a aceitação pela família. Para o Alex foi um processo mais demorado e que ocorreu em paralelo com sua independência pessoal e profissional. Acho que para ambos não foi um processo fácil. Atualmente somos muito tranqüilos com relação a isso, nossos familiares nos amam, nossos colegas de trabalham nos respeitam. Acho que um grande aprendizado para mim foi perceber que ao me assumir gay me tornei mais forte.

Se você pudesse dar um conselho para você mesmo antes de sair do armário, o que você diria?

Diríamos: vá em frente, não tenha medo, seja feliz e nada mais.”

Tapioca, Political Advisor, Rio De Janeiro

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

João, in his own words: “I don’t really like to identify myself as gay because I believe this concept has been moralized. I feel it’s been captured by a conservative agenda to normalize deviant men. If you perform the role of the sexless fairy consumer, then you are accepted. I’d rather be identified as a queer (in portuguese I like to use the word “transviado”). For me being queer is rejoicing in inadequacy. It’s that permanent feeling that you are an outsider; a stranger to established norms of moral and behavior. Instead of knocking on the doors, begging for acquiescent acceptance, we chose to glitter bomb society. After all, I’m an avowed Pink Bloc, Glitter Vandal, Anal Terrorist and so on. Being queer is resisting oppressive identities that divide us. It is being a nonconforming body and soul.

My advice to myself in the past would be:
Listen, honey! That thing that it gets better is pure bullshit! You do get stronger though. Strong enough to fight for your rights, to go out wearing whatever you want and holding hands with whomever you like. Don’t argue, act. Flaunting is not only beautiful, it’s revolutionary.”