Tag Archives: queer

Paul, Photographer, Lima, Peru

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

Paul, in his own words: “What does being gay mean to you?

No estoy muy seguro de esto, ósea sé que soy gay porque es la palabra que define mi atracción por los chicos pero más allá de eso me identifico como un ser humano en busca de la igualdad para todos

Uno de los problemas con el que lidio continuamente es la desaprobación de la sociedad que me rodea, vivo en un país represivo y con miedo al cambio que prefiere repetir una historia mil veces antes que intentar hacer algo distinto.
Podría decir que el desafío más fuerte que tengo ahora mismo es conmigo. 
He dejado que muchxs hagan la lucha por mí, lucha por mis derechos, lucha por mi reconocimiento como persona. El año pasado sufrí un ataque de homofobia, fui golpeado solo por defenderme de una burla por usar pantalones apretados, en su momento lo deje pasar pensé que era algo que tenía que suceder de todas maneras solo por mostrarme como quiero. 
Luego me di cuenta que es el pensamiento más tonto que pude haber tenido ¿cómo pensar que ser golpeado es natural, solo por ser homosexual? Cuando vi lo absurdo que era creer esto, decidí hacer un cambio. 
Ahora cada vez que puedo trato de ayudar en algo con esta lucha, cuando alguien suelta un comentario tonto sobre la homosexualidad o hace algún chiste sobre ello, trato de hacer que entienda que no es un tema que se puede tomar a la ligera, la homosexualidad es parte importante de alguien más.

La comunidad gay es muy diversa como todo grupo, hay gente que es más activista, gente que lucha solo cuando les afecta de manera personal y gente que no se identifica con la comunidad. Imagino que todo eso está bien ya es muy personal como uno decide compartir con los demás. Lo que si aún me parece mala onda es cuando algunos homosexuales dan la espalda a otros solo por no compartir un mismo status o por no tener un parecido físico a ellos sean marrones o blancos. 
 ¿Si todos en el fondo sabemos que somos lo mismo porque no ayudarnos?

Siempre he sabido que soy homosexual, hasta cuando no sabía que existía una palabra con la que me pueda definir, sabía que soy gay. 
Desde niño las personas han asociado mi feminidad con mi orientación sexual, por lo tanto nunca tuve que salir oficialmente del closet, hasta los 16 que fue cuando termine el colegio y se lo dije a mi mama, por que sentí que era algo que necesitaba decirlo con todas sus palabras. Fue algo complicado porque ella ya me había preguntado sobre mis gustos cuando tenía 14, yo conteste de manera muy general sin una afirmación o una negación. Mi papa no toca mucho el tema por temor a decir algo que me incomode pero cada vez que yo tengo la oportunidad de compartir algo con él lo hago, porque quiero enseñarle que no tener miedo de lo que su hijo es.
Igual aun a veces se me complica cuando tengo que aclarar mi orientación sexual con ciertas personas, sobre todo con las mayores porque están cerrados en una sola idea del homosexualismo, entonces hacerles comprender algo nuevo es medio difícil pero ahí voy, haciendo lo que está en mis manos para ayudar con la causa.

El consejo que me daría a mí mismo, es que no existe una manera correcta de hacer las cosas, solo tú puedes hacer que el camino que estas tomando sea el mejor para ti. Que disfrute el momento porque no todos los años tendrá 22 para hacer las cosas que solo puedes hacer a los 22.”

In English:

“What does being gay mean to you?

I’m not sure about this, I know I’m gay because it is the word that defines my attraction to guys, but beyond that I identify myself as a human being in search of equality for all.

One of the problems with continually feeling the disapproval of the society around me, I live in a repressive country that is afraid of change and prefers to repeat a story a thousand times rather than trying to do something different.

I would say that the strongest challenge I have right now is me. I let many thing make me fight, fight for my rights and my struggle for recognition as a person. Last year I suffered a bout of homophobia, I was beaten and mocked and made to defend myself simply for wearing tight pants, at the time I thought it was something that would have had to happen anyway. Then I realized that’s the dumbest thing I could have been thinking, why should I be beaten naturally, just for being gay? When I saw how absurd it was to believe this, I decided to make a change. Now whenever I can I try to help in this fight, when someone drops a silly comment about homosexuality or makes a joke about it, I try to understand that it is not an issue that can be taken lightly, homosexuality is an important part of somebody else.

The gay community (in Lima) is as diverse as any group, there are people who are more activist, people who struggle only when it affects them personally and people who do not identify with the community. I guess being gay is very personal and one can decide whether or not to share it with others. What I think is not cool is when some gay individuals criticize others just for not sharing the same status or not having a physical resemblance to them, for being brown or white. Everyone deep down knows we are the same.

I’ve always knew I was gay, even before I knew there was a word that could define me I knew that I am gay. Since childhood people have associated my femininity with my sexual orientation, so I never had to officially come out until around 16 when I finished school and I told my mom that I felt it was something I needed to say. It was tricky because she had asked me about my interests when I was 14, I answered very generally without an affirmation or denial. My dad does not play much with the issue for fear of saying something that bothers me but whenever I have the opportunity I share something with him about what I do, because I want to teach him not to be afraid of what his child is. Sometimes it troubles me when I have to clear my sexual orientation with certain people, especially the elderly because they are stuck on one idea of homosexuality. I hope to make them understand something new is kind of hard but there I go, doing what is in my hands to help with the cause.

The advice I would give myself is that there is no right way to do things, only you can make the path you’re taking, and decide what is best for you. Enjoy the moment because not everyone has 22 years to do things as you have had.”

Justin, Creative Production Pro, New York City

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

Justin, in his own words: “What inspires me about the majority of gay men is that each one of us has lived a portion of our lives in solitude and fear, as someone who had to take an incredible leap of faith, sometimes admit that we had been lying to ourselves and our loved ones and reset our lives in a new light.

Being gay is not one thing, but it is a community which has grown out of various horrifying and inspiring circumstances. It is a community which is incredibly expressive and daring and whose members are more visible than ever before, which is amazing for the youngest generation who will hopefully have less isolation and fear in their lives.

I actually never identified myself as gay until I fell for someone. I had been attracted to men before, but rationalized my attractions by thinking that I could “tell when a guy was handsome” — but didn’t equate that to actually being attracted to him.

Well, his name was David and he was playing Buzz Lightyear in a show I was stage managing at Disneyland in California. He was really sweet and cute, he was moving to Australia and I was helping him with his move there. Once it hit me that I was falling for him, it felt like I knew what being gay actually meant, not just having a physical attraction, but understanding how I could love him also — it was a big moment for me.

I moved to NYC the next month with my best friend, I never mentioned my feelings to David, but on the car ride to the airport I confided in my best friend that I thought that I was gay. She rolled down the car window to take a deep breath — and we started laughing. I didn’t tell anyone else I was gay, I wanted to take my time and see what it was all about.

My mom called me a few months later and asked me flat out if I was gay, I took a deep breath and told her that I wasn’t sure, she said, “Ok, well just let me know when you know.” So when I did know, we sat down and I told her I was gay — she actually started to cry, which I was horrified by because I thought she was ok with it. I asked her if she was crying because I was gay, she said no and told me that she had several friends who were gay, but she was crying because she had lost every single one of her gay friends to AIDS so it was very difficult for her.

She hugged me and told me she would always love me. Once I had come out to my mother I actually just went through my entire phone book and told each one of my friends and relatives within about a week and all of them were incredibly supportive.”

Francisco, Writer, New York City

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong


Francisco, in his own words: “I don’t think being gay means you need to be political, but I do think it means you need to be brave. I believe that confidence—the way you daily conquer things—is an example and point of reference to friends, co-workers, lovers, friends, and kids that don’t otherwise have a resource to see that.

Junot Diaz has this great quote from a talk he gave in Jersey. “You guys know about vampires?” He asks. “You know, vampires have no reflections in a mirror? There’s this idea that monsters don’t have reflections in a mirror. And what I’ve always thought isn’t that monsters don’t have reflections in a mirror. It’s that if you want to make a human being into a monster, deny them, at the cultural level, any reflection of themselves. And growing up, I felt like a monster in some ways. I didn’t see myself reflected at all. I was like, ‘Yo, is something wrong with me? That the whole society seems to think that people like me don’t exist?’ And part of what inspired me, was this deep desire that before I died, I would make a couple of mirrors. That I would make some mirrors so that kids like me might seem themselves reflected back and might not feel so monstrous for it.”

Growing up in white bread Chicago suburbia, I felt like a vampire. I never saw gay parents, or dudes wearing short shorts, or action TV series with queer protagonists. The greatest challenge was, and still is, finding everyday gay heroes to learn from or aspire to. And so I guess I’ve made it my mantra as a writer and as a person to seek out those heroes and to create the reflections I never saw when I was 10, sitting in my room peeling through Greek Mythology books, praying that I’d find a gay romance, a dude rescuing a dude in distress, any fleck of something that proved to me that one day I could save the day or conquer something. I wanted the gay guy to pick up the sword, I guess.

The day I came out to my parents (I was 18?) I had packed a bag. I’d brought my escape kit to the Art Institute where I would spend the day and thereafter, run away forever and live in my boyfriend’s ex-boyfriend’s guest bedroom for as long as possible until I figured out where to go from there. And I mean, yeah, wow, I was a manic and dumb kid in high school. But I think part of what I was feeling was unprepared and ill-equipped. I had no weapon.

The year I moved to New York was the best year of my life, and so much of that has to do with the gay companionship I’ve found here and will continue to find here. I’ve built some pretty terrible relationships in my day and escaping those ghosts had everything to do with knowing new gay men who scarcely accept less than they deserve. I work for a gay magazine called Hello Mr. that creates this kinda ineffable bond between gay men. It’s been a commonplace for key friendships, and I guess put up those mirrors I’d been aching for as a kid—the reflections of everyday heroes I could one day know or love or become.

Kinda wish I could send a tweet from the future into the past saying “@fransquishco! You’re going to be okay! You have gay friends! Parts of your heart are growing back!” But I guess since I can’t do that, the next best thing is writing for kids like me, little reassurances and mirrors. Or at least that’s the goal.

And I’m still looking for gay friends! Be friends with me! I’m big on picnics and any place where they serve you coffee in a ceramic mug.”

Follow Francisco on Twitter, @fransquishco, and Instagram, fransquishco.