photo by Kevin Truong
Victor, in his own words: “Nothing I have faced hasn’t already been faced and overcome by any other gay man. That’s why I know that no matter how hard I may be attacked for my homosexuality, I will live through it. I am always proud.
I believe that the gay community in New York is one of the most open, available, and welcoming communities that stands united against hate in all aspects.”
photo by Kevin Truong
Tym, in his own words: “I grew up never hearing the words Gay or Homosexual. I had no idea what they meant. We had no Will and Grace on TV or an LGBT center. I had no idea anyone else in the world felt the way I did. I thought I was insane.
Growing up in a religious family, I also felt for most of my life that I was damned to hell. So what did it matter? The things that brought me pleasure in my life was looked down upon by family and society in general.
I felt like a total outcast. I learned to survived by trying to fit in. Even though it didn’t feel natural. I dated girls in school, had sex with them all because I tried to do what my mind told me I was supposed to do. I spent the first 1/2 of my life in my head. I became a raging drug addict and alcoholic. I partied hard for 20 years! I didn’t care if I lived or died and almost did several times. What did it matter? I was doomed to hell anyway…
Now, I have changed my whole way of Being around. I live from my Heart. I do what I truly want to do and what brings me joy. I stopped the mind altering substances, after 30 yrs of smoking I stopped that too. I have been working tirelessly on my Mind and Soul and have just begun on my Body.. Soon I’ll have the Mind, Body and Soul in alignment. I’ve learned to Love myself for the first time in my life. I’ve learned that it’s ok for me to be happy! I’m loving life the first time and I’m having a ball!!!
I also feel the younger generation has no appreciation or understanding of what we had to endure so that they can live freely.
I’ve had more challenges just for being gay than I can even remember. I’ve been spit on, refused entry, molested,taken advantage of in severe ways, kicked out of places, knives at my throat, guns at my head, etc etc… All just for being different.. and those are just the ones that came to me off the top of my head. There was so much mental and emotional abuse, self hatred. I remember thinking why wasn’t I like everyone else. What’s wrong with me??
Its taken me 50 years to realize that there’s nothing wrong with me. Quite the opposite! I’m exceptional!! I would almost care to bet that most people could not have endured much of what I’ve been through in my life. That’s why I’m happy most of the time. I’ve been through so much pain that I’m grateful for all the Joy and Love and Happiness that I can genuinely create in my Life now!! No room for sadness anymore…. Now, if something doesn’t bring me Joy, I don’t have time for it! I’m finally enjoying MY Life!!!
photo by Kevin Truong
photo by Kevin Truong
photo by Kevin Truong
photo by Kevin Truong
photo by Kevin Truong
Brendan, in his own words: “Apart from political debates or social acceptance issues, I’ve always felt that being gay doesn’t automatically carry any meaning or weight to it. I don’t believe that being gay defines me on any level except for being attracted to other men. For many gay men, being gay becomes a lifestyle – culturally, behaviorally, everything. While I certainly understand and appreciate how much of an influence being gay can have on someone’s life, especially when that influence is positive, it’s never really had much of an influence on me. My day to day to life is the same as it would be if I were straight, bisexual, asexual, etc. The only difference is that at the end of the day, I look forward to spending time with someone who happens to be a man.”
“Although I don’t “participate” in the gay community (in New York) in the typical ways, I definitely appreciate knowing there are millions of people who support LGBTQ rights and equality. Going to college in Brooklyn, where the environment towards LGBTQ people is primarily accepting, has been a very positive experience for me – I have made so many friends who either belong to or accept the community. I’ve thankfully never felt out of place or unwelcome for being gay.”
Christopher, in his own words: “I have always felt that since (being a gay man) is a challenge to the societal norm, that it was an opportunity to push myself further. I have always sought the same level of respect that my straight friends, colleagues and family members receive. For me its a quiet resistance. I set myself apart by doing well (in the ways that i can) and want to be respected for the quality of my character and not my sexual identity.”
“I feel that (the gay community) in New York is a bit of a two sided story, in the older more sleepy neighborhoods you find gay men who have a very different gay lifestyle, more subdued, more family oriented, more grounded by a supportive family. The “community” that most people associate with though is the more loud and proud type. I feel like (Brendan and I) fall more in the middle, while we are proud of our relationship, we choose to treat our sexuality in a more quiet manner. I don’t care much for clubs or hookups, so sometimes I feel like a minority.”