One of the biggest challenges I’ve faced is not only being gay, but being a gay person of color. Even though as gay people we are a minority, there is still a fair amount of racism in the gay community. I’ve encountered blatant racism, slurs, aggression, and all of these things have happened in situations where I’ve been in the company of gay men and women. So my situation compounds and I become a minority within a minority group. It’s really difficult to feel like you belong in certain situations when those are the cards you’re dealt. Black men tend to be stereotyped regardless of their sexual orientation, be it in a positive or a negative light; so trying to combat that in addition to being gay has been tough ever since i was younger. But I’d like to think I’m relatively well-adjusted and I don’t let those things get to me as much anymore.
I love the gay scene in Brooklyn because it feels so much more diverse and relaxed than in other parts of the city. I generally try to avoid stereotyping groups of people and places/neighborhoods, but being around other like-minded gay people in Brooklyn has eased some of the challenges I listed earlier. It seems to matter less that I’m black and tattooed, and that I’m more interested in going to comic book stores than going to the gym.
Like I said earlier, I can’t ever remember a time when I didn’t know I was gay. A few years ago I was visiting my family on Long Island, and while talking to my mother about my boyfriend (now my husband), I asked “everyone knows about me, right?”. My mother said yes without skipping a beat. Luckily for me having never been in the closet means never having to experience coming out of it.”