Tag Archives: photos

Oscar, Urban Planning Graduate Student, New York City

photo by Kevin Truong

Oscar, in his own words “Coming from a religious Latino immigrant family and going to a small high school in Washington D.C., I did not grow up knowing a lot of gay people. There were rumors that one or two of my high school teachers could have been but it wouldn’t be confirmed until long after I had gone to college and only for one of them. Not knowing or seeing any gay people and feeling unable to talk about sexuality have made my coming out an ongoing process.

I started coming out when I was 18, after I had been intimate with a guy I genuinely felt I could love and fight for. Even though I’ve known I was gay since I was a teenager, I had always been afraid of being gay because I did not think it was possible to be a part of society as a gay man of color. I felt that the only “other” identity I could claim was being Latino. There was no way I could be a gay Latino and still have the same future and opportunities my parents and I had envisioned for myself.

I know that coming out is a process, be it difficult or easy, for all LGBTQ people. However, I believe that for some LGBTQ people of color, our coming out story is not complete without referring to our culture and race. We have to not only figure out what being LGBTQ is but what it means to be a LGBTQ person of color.

As open and diverse most LGBTQ people are, I still feel invisible in many gay spaces. Whether it is because of the color of my skin, my body size, my interests or what I am wearing, I feel that there is little room for gay men of color, within that traditional gay male ideal, to be more than just their skin color or culture. However, I think that by promoting and showcasing that there are other gay men that are not white, with different interests, studying, working hard/hardly working or just living their lives proudly, we can break some of these patterns, become aware of our differences and embrace them.

This is why I decided to be a part of this project. I hope that these few words might encourage people to engage in constructive conversations about the different identities within the gay community. “

Alex, Artist/Mover, Baltimore

photo by Kevin Truong

Alex, in his own words: “Gay is a Word I occasionally use to describe myself. Sometimes the word gay connects too much to a gender/culture dynamic that seems outdated, or just not enough. I find around radical queer folks I like to say I am a gay male, where around gay men I need to assert my queerness as something reaching into gender and my every self-constructed person. I identify more as a queer person. To me gender and sexuality are units of the creature I call me, but not the only ones. Being queer, means I connect to a culture, a world, a history that is constantly trying to reinvent itself. I suppose that’s why art and dancing help. It’s always a colorful game of movement and surprise. I like the history of magic and shamanism that friends of dorothy link up to, so somtimes its more fun to tell people that I’d rather be called a Witch than a gay male.

I would say the biggest challenge is just knowing when to speak out, and when to be chill with the circumstances of the gay/queer rung on the social ladder. Self-tokenizing is often a vice of protection and safety. Both empowering and problematic, the conflict and grey fuzzy areas of being queer tend to be super tricky. Stonewall and then some happened so we can continue to push forward to new terms and ideas of how people live their lives and celebrate their sexuality. I think there is a global need to make queerness acceptable throughout the whole world. Unganda is about to unload/has been unloading a bunch of Witch hunts on gay people. The challenge here is embracing the growing freedom and privilege of being openly gay in this culture and trying to share that with the rest of the world.

Gay Baltimore is all over the place. It’s a diverse situation, small and cozy. I’ve been more drawn to the group of artists, dancers, and thinkers who indentify beyond the basic needs or race/class/gender specificity. We’re all sentient beings working through the struggles of life. Baltimore’s gay scene can be as vanilla as queer as folk gay bar, or as granola crusty as a group of gender queer kids making art in the abandoned buildings and rustic environments of charm city.

I came out to my parents when I was 14. My twin brother had come out to me the year before, and I was intimidated to come out to him immediately. I guess that evil twin high school brat vibe kicked in, and I decided to be the first one to come out. I waited till my brother went to a weekend work-camp for this Christian cult called Young Life to take advantage of their sweet foresty resources and challenge evangelist nut-jobs. A year later when he came out to them, my parents said they wished we had both come out at the same time. I never really need to come out anymore, most people either assume or don’t care either way. At the same time, we don’t live in a 100% queer-friendly world, so coming out will always be a routine of “getting to know you” rituals. I think until the world sees queerness everywhere, no one will ever be done fully coming out. I kind of cherish the quiet retreat of the closet at times. Its like my own faggy Narnia.”

Jake, Australian Blogger and Marketing Graduate, New York City

photo by Kevin Truong

Jake, in his own words: “Growing up in a small country town in South Australia, I never thought I’d be living in New York City some day. The difference in where I’ve come from to where I am today is astronomical. Not just in a physical sense, but my emotional state. I’ve never felt more myself in my entire life.

The gay community in Adelaide, my home city in Australia, is a closed knit scene with three degrees of separation. In ways it can be quite overwhelming, but for the most part it is humble and supportive. Moving to New York City has allowed me to experience an entirely different gay culture. Being fresh to America and New York, I can really appreciate the diversity. I feel as though I am constantly learning and expanding my understanding of the world.

Coming out to me was about showing that nothing changes after you take that step. I was very calculated with my coming out to my friends and family. I stretched it out over the course of three years, from 18 to 21. The last person to complete my progression was my Father.

You see, I knew my parents would never really stop loving or be upset with me, and my friends wouldn’t be my friends if I knew they wouldn’t support me. In fact I was lucky. My Mother’s response went something along the lines of “I have four boys, one of them had to be”, and we continued the night laughing and crying. My Father was much more difficult to tell because I am the apple of his eye. It’s always much harder to tell those you’re the closest to and I didn’t want to disappoint or tarnish his rose colored view of me. He cried. He cried until I spoke up saying that I am sorry. He looked at me and said, “I’m just upset it took you so long to tell me. I just know your life from here onwards is going to be more difficult than it needs to be. People should be able to be who they want to be and not be ashamed of it”. For me, telling my Father was the final tier. I was finally free.

Being gay has never really meant all that much to me. I’ve never wanted it to be my identifier, nor have I wanted “being gay” to consume who I am. Being gay to me means one thing and one thing only – I’m attracted to the same sex. Everything else is just who I am, not because I’m gay. I like to think of myself as a regular guy. I’m just chasing my dreams.”

Click here to check out Jake’s personal blog, “The Secret Diary of Jake”.

photo by Kevin Truong

THE GAY MEN PROJECT

The visual catalog of gay and queer men around the world.

Tag Archives: photos

Oscar, Urban Planning Graduate Student, New York City

Alex, Artist/Mover, Baltimore

Jake, Australian Blogger and Marketing Graduate, New York City