Growing up in a religious family, I also felt for most of my life that I was damned to hell. So what did it matter? The things that brought me pleasure in my life was looked down upon by family and society in general.

I felt like a total outcast. I learned to survived by trying to fit in. Even though it didn’t feel natural. I dated girls in school, had sex with them all because I tried to do what my mind told me I was supposed to do. I spent the first 1/2 of my life in my head. I became a raging drug addict and alcoholic. I partied hard for 20 years! I didn’t care if I lived or died and almost did several times. What did it matter? I was doomed to hell anyway…

Now, I have changed my whole way of Being around. I live from my Heart. I do what I truly want to do and what brings me joy. I stopped the mind altering substances, after 30 yrs of smoking I stopped that too. I have been working tirelessly on my Mind and Soul and have just begun on my Body.. Soon I’ll have the Mind, Body and Soul in alignment. I’ve learned to Love myself for the first time in my life. I’ve learned that it’s ok for me to be happy! I’m loving life the first time and I’m having a ball!!!

I also feel the younger generation has no appreciation or understanding of what we had to endure so that they can live freely.

I’ve had more challenges just for being gay than I can even remember. I’ve been spit on, refused entry, molested,taken advantage of in severe ways, kicked out of places, knives at my throat, guns at my head, etc etc… All just for being different.. and those are just the ones that came to me off the top of my head. There was so much mental and emotional abuse, self hatred. I remember thinking why wasn’t I like everyone else. What’s wrong with me??