Tag Archives: new york city

George, Painter, New York City

photo by Kevin Truong

George, in his own words: “I would imagine that for other gay men, the fact that they “happen to be gay” might be more of a non-issue. But for me, I came to NYC years ago to help me more fully realize my attraction for Visual Arts. What I’ve found this to look like is a search for Beauty, and an overwhelming desire to make things that I feel are Beautiful, and then to show those things to others. There’s those dual aspects to this process: First Identifying and trying to emulate the Beautiful Thing, and then showing your creation to others with a small hope for some kind of Validation. Even Cavemen who were Visual Artists would get into drawing a Bison on the Wall, and trying to really make it feel like a Bison, but then they’d want to show it to other Cavemen with the hope that they’d like their Bison Drawing too. But the thing of Beauty that I often choose is a male figure or portrait, and this means my audience is going to have to consider the gay question, consciously or not. A Homophobic person might think I’m trying to shove my Homosexuality in other people’s faces, but I’m just another Visual Artist, who’s trying to show them Beauty.

As a gay man who studied painting and visual art, I’ve struggled to figure out ways to earn a living. Each year, I tend to make more money than the previous year from my artwork, but it still doesn’t add up to a figure that doesn’t need supplementation. And the supplemental jobs cut into my art-making time. But I have to keep my focus on the positive progress, and not on the financial challenges. I’ve also struggled after sero-converting to becoming HIV-Positive in 2005. Thankfully, not as much as the Generation before this, who had little or no medical solutions. But still, the stigma that leads many to not disclose the information is real, and the ridiculous price of HIV Medication and Healthcare today is another issue that really needs attention so I try to talk about it.

I guess I always knew I was Gay, even before I had a name for it. To survive grade school & high school, you learn pretty quick that it’s something to try to hide. But in one of my first jobs, as a stock boy in an A & P Grocery Store in upstate Port Jervis, NY, a hot Italian guy from the next town over started to come in and boldly flirt with me. He’d act like he needed one more ingredient for some meal that he was making, ask where he could find it, and he’d ask what time I got off. Sure enough, he’s be there with his Z-28 Camaro ready to drive me home. This was 1986, when gay things weren’t discussed and rarely in the news, but he’d try to bring up gay topics – he played the song “West End Girls” by the Pet Shop Boys and he told me it was a song about Homosexuality. I had to listen again to realize he was right. My mother wanted to know what a 24 year old man was doing driving me, a 17 year old boy home from work, and I somehow just came out with it: “Mom, I’m Gay.” I was done with lying to her. She had a look of disappointment that I somehow expected, and she later encouraged me to not tell anyone in my small town, but I now know that it’s just that she loved me so much and didn’t want to see me get hurt. Since I had already been accepted to an art college in New York City, we both agreed I’d be better off there. Her and the rest of my family’s love and support of me has strengthened with time and Communication. I’ve always felt very fortunate with having such a loving family.

I think it’s incredibly diverse, and that people in New York who haven’t found like-minded friends must not be looking hard enough. You can’t judge the whole “community” by looking at who is pictured in a local bar magazine like “Next”, or by who’s on a float in the Pride Parade. It used to seem that certain neighborhoods had like-minded gays (i.e. – the artists were in the East Village, the Muscle guys were in Chelsea) but now with the Internet, social networks are easier to come by. Places like the Gay Center in the West Village and Arts Organizations like the Leslie Lohman Museum of Gay and Lesbian Art I find to be very inclusive and Community oriented.”

Click here to see some of George’s art.

Michael, Interactive Media Marketing Coordinator, New York City

photo by Kevin Truong

Photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

Michael, in his own words: “To me, being gay doesn’t mean anything different than being straight. There are the obvious things, of course, like who I’m staring at in the gym versus who the guy I’m staring at is staring at, but being “out” is an entirely different thing. It’s gratifying in a way that I can scarcely find words to describe. It’s like when you envision your future self, you project a great future that often times seems light years away. Then one day, you find that some part of your dreams has been realized. Having come out recently, I feel that I can accomplish my other, more outward goals and become the future self that I envisioned now that I have an internal foundation that is absolutely fundamental to my adult development—literally a launching pad.

As far as challenges go, I’ve been terribly lucky. I have immensely supportive family and friends that I can count on, and I am very fortunate to have been born after a generation of great civil rights progress, although we are perhaps in the middle of our biggest victories to date. The real challenge for me has been growing into myself and identifying what I want, or more importantly, figuring out what I don’t want. Since I moved to New York in late 2011, I have definitely been the kid in the homo candy shop. It’s been absolutely fantastic but sometimes the things you think will make you happy end up having the opposite effect. Regardless, I advocate this trial-and-error.

Being gay in New York is perfect and horrible. On one hand, there is relatively no judgment from the public, an acceptance I’ve been starving for since I was young. Also, there are so many men with similar stories to my own, and it seems like they’re everywhere; it’s easy to find a community here. But that’s also the biggest issue when it comes to relationships: there are so many options to choose from for everything—food, clothes, significant others—, investing in any one thing is difficult. Relationships are easily strained.

I still consider myself lucky though. Growing up in Kansas, I really did think that the “phase” I was going through would pass, that I would straighten out and be just like everyone else. When I realized finally that it wasn’t a phase, I never really beat myself up about it. To me, it was matter-of-fact, and I am very rational. Even though those days were only two years ago, it feels like ages. Now, things are good. I’m good. I can look forward to what’s ahead, and only because I’ve experienced what’s behind.”

Alessio, Student, New York City

photo by Kevin Truong

Alessio, in his own words: “For me being gay just means being romantically attracted to men.

I think I felt very different growing up, but my family saw that and were very supportive in everything I did. It was hard leaving home and moving to New York City and being confronted with a vibrant and immense gay community, and then to decide how much I wanted that to be a part of my life. I think I’m still figuring that out, but it becomes easier the longer I’ve been here. I’m dating my best friend, whom I love very much, so I’d consider that a success as far as being gay goes.

(The gay community in New York City is) Vibrant and immense, like I said, and almost overwhelming. Almost. I’ll never forget my first Pride and the feeling that the entire city was celebrating, not just gay men and women. New York in general is pretty gay too, so the I’ve never been able to easily separate the “gay” community from my community at large.

(With regards to a coming out story) Eh, I don’t really have one. I suppose I told my father first, but both of my parents knew at that point (I was a very imaginative and often effeminate child, but a really early fascination with Leonardo DiCaprio probably tipped them off first). I was going to see my boyfriend at the time and needed a ride to the train station, and I explained it as such and there was no problem. It didn’t come up in conversation with my mom until that relationship had ended. I’d always hoped that my experience would become more common in the future. For many I think it’s still important to be able to claim “gay” as an identity, to allow it, in some part, to define who you are, but it can’t be the only thing, and I certainly didn’t want my friends and family to think I needed them to see me as “gay” before anything else. I just needed them to understand that so-and-so was my boyfriend and that was how I liked it.

(With regards to advice to my younger self) I wouldn’t interfere. My parents knew what they were doing, and it was almost to a fault that I was encouraged to be different. I was very comfortable not always being liked, very comfortable making closed-minded people uncomfortable, and very, very comfortable pursuing what I wanted. If I could talk to a more recent younger self I think I’d encourage him not to lose that, but we’re working back up to it I believe.”

THE GAY MEN PROJECT

The visual catalog of gay and queer men around the world.

Tag Archives: new york city

George, Painter, New York City

Michael, Interactive Media Marketing Coordinator, New York City

Alessio, Student, New York City