Tag Archives: fashion

Tom, DJ and Community Activist, San Francisco

photo by Kevin Truong

Tom, in his own words: “(Being gay has) been a gift for me! My worldview and creative output are so shaped by my being queer and i’m pretty proud of both. The people i’ve met, the places i’ve gone, the things i’ve accomplished, so many of those things wouldn’t have happened if I weren’t queer and I wouldn’t trade them for anything.

(With regards to challenges) Aside from occasionally having ‘faggot’ shouted at me on the street and a few tumultuous teenage years (I haven’t had) too many to speak of. I’m sure that there have been more subtle challenges but my life as a gay men has been largely without incident and I’m very thankful and lucky to be able to say that.

(The gay scene in San Francisco is) pretty spectacular. When I first moved here I felt like looking at the queer scene was like standing on the edge of the ocean — It was so vast and had far too much depth to ever understand. Having been here for eight years now it certainly doesn’t appear as vast as it once does but its still very impressive. It’s amazing living in a city where there’s such a diversity of experiences and interests that there isn’t a ‘gay scene’ to speak of but rather communities within that that congregate around other interests and just happen to be queer.

(With regards to coming out) I’ve been out for 11 years now, and it’s been mostly uphill since that moment. I met my first other gay boy my age when I was a sophomore in High School, fell in love with him, had my heart ripped out, told everyone it was happening because I didn’t want to be alone in love/despair and that was pretty much that. My friends were all mostly supportive and my parents ultimately were too. Now they come to my queer parties, ask about how my boyfriends are doing and all that.”

Michael, Psychiatrist, San Francisco

photo by Kevin Truong

Michael, in his own words: “Being gay means having a love and appreciation for the same sex in the way that other people may have a love and appreciation for the opposite sex. It’s natural and human, and it’s beautiful. It took me a long time to realize this truth. Growing up, I managed to internalize
a lot of homophobia that made it hard for me to be myself around others. I did not come out to anybody while I was in school, and I closed myself off to a lot of experiences, including loving ones. I delayed gratification in one part of my life to pursue success in other parts.

I came to San Francisco hoping that just the act of moving to a gay-friendly city would make changes in my life. I realized that it would take a lot more than that. I slowly but surely started coming
out to friends and family. None of my fears became reality. Instead, I found my myself growing in positive ways and being embraced by others in ways I had never imagined. San Francisco has a culture of acceptance that I haven’t seen in many other places. Being gay here does not make you different. Instead it makes you a member of a community that is still a part of humanity.”

Michael, Grade School Teacher, Portland, Ore.

photo by Kevin Truong

Michael, in his own words:“I’m a small town boy from Eastern Oregon. I grew up in a town surrounded by farm land, deer, barns and rivers in a peaceful valley hours away from any city. I never left my small town until I went to college at the University of Oregon. I ended up getting into Theatre and moved to New York City for a few years after college. It’s hard to define myself because I’ve been know to throw myself into new situations and been able to adapt well. In New York I served celebrities and mafia heads in a high end restaurant in mid town Manhattan. I booked modeling and acting jobs on the side while fulfilling my fantasy of making things happen in NYC. Eventually I missed the trees and returned to Oregon. I define myself as someone who is able to maintain a sense of self in any situation and loves to push my own boundaries.

I’ve evolved quite a bit in the past ten years. I now work with children and have my masters in elementary education. What’s important to me has changed a lot. What’s important to me now is being a part of a community and feeling like what I do gives back to a community that supports and fulfills me. I no longer worry about feeding my own ego like I did in my early 20’s.

Being a gay man to me is much more than helping people accept the fact that I love other men. I feel that that is something that shouldn’t even be questioned. I like that I can present myself as a person who is happy with who he is, no matter what that is. I am comfortable in my own skin. I treat people right and it makes me happy to connect with people on a personal level. I have a hard time finding someone who doesn’t enjoy being around me. I’m happy being who I am and what I’ve done with my life. I think that’s hard to find a fault in. I own my decisions and actions and don’t regret much. If someone doesn’t like me than it’s only because I represent some fault in themselves that they’re insecure about.

My coming out was not nearly as dramatic as most gay men. I came out to my two siblings on my 21st birthday which resulted in a group hug and cheers. My mother’s reaction was simply, “well now we can FINALLY talk about it!” I didn’t come out to my Dad until I brought home a boyfriend when I was 26. He was happy to meet him and they bonded over talking about photography. I’ve always felt that my sexuality is as big of a deal as I make it out to be. I’m incredibly proud to be gay and I would never want any alternative reality. Being gay has brought so many opportunities that I would have never had as a straight man. I’ve met incredible and colorful people from around the world and been able to do things that the average person from La Grande Oregon will never be able to do. Being gay has pushed me to know myself well and to give myself permission to have faults and embrace what makes me an individual.”

THE GAY MEN PROJECT

The visual catalog of gay and queer men around the world.

Tag Archives: fashion

Tom, DJ and Community Activist, San Francisco

Michael, Psychiatrist, San Francisco

Michael, Grade School Teacher, Portland, Ore.