Tag Archives: coming out

Romano, Art Director, Rome, Italy

photo by Kevin Truong

Romano, in his own words: “(Being gay is) just I who am (we all gay are) different. And this difference is not something I really feel as a human being. I mean I am just like anybody else, I’ve got two legs, two arms and so on. I’ve got feelings and needs like anybody else, I live my everyday life without thinking “Gosh, I am gay so I am different”. Being gay is a natural condition like being blond or brunette… It’s this social taboo that makes me feel different. When I was a child there was nothing worst than say to somebody “frocio” (fag in Italian). Nowadays nothing has really changed. That’s it! I think it’s time to get over this taboo in my country. I do hope the next homosexual generations won’t have to suffer for discrimination and social exclusion. I dream about a better Italy in a better world.

Talking about my gay condition, the most important challenge has been the self acceptance. I mean, I felt really so guilty and scared about this. Firstly I even hid to myself my real sexual instincts. So the first challenge was to come up with myself. This process has taken many years but finally I slowly ended feeling so guilty and I began to live my real life.

Well, once I began to feel comfortable with my gay condition, then I did not care much if somebody knew about it. I’ve never talked about this with my parents, friends and relatives. It just happened that slowly everybody realized I was gay. And I’ve never experienced problems with any of them.

The one who surprised me a lot is my father. He never felt comfortable with gays, and I heard him over the years revile gays. Well, one day he came to my place and said “Look son, I just came to say to you that I think everybody has the right to be straight, gay or whatever he wants!” Suddenly I blushed and he hugged me so strong. Tears on our faces and this made me feel so proud of him as a son and as a gay man!

The advice I’d give to the younger myself is: Do not care about the others; opinion, do not care about yours and others sexual orientation. Just care about feelings. Respect everybody and claim for the same respect!”

Niklaus, Zurich, Switzerland

photo by Kevin Truong

Niklaus, in his own words: ” I have always seen my sexuality as only a part of my being human. Defining myself only through my sexuality seemed limited and restricting and didn’t feel right. So being gay means to me that I have a deep sense of respect for other people and I probably have a better understanding of feeling different from the rest. Therefore I’m trying not to discriminate or judge people for their choices and I am grateful to have been born into a family that taught me to treasure and respect the opinions of others.

Life is a continuos maelstrom of challenges and successes, I guess. My answer is: A lot and hopefully many more…

(With regards to coming out) Was 16. Told my mother and brother first, my father later the same night. Everybody was supportive and proud that I was able to come out to them. Boring, really.

The gay community in Zurich is as multifaceted and colorful as a rainbow.”

Mike, Photographer, Melbourne, Australia

photo by Kevin Truong

Mike, in his own words: “Being gay to me means that I’m able to be completely free and comfortable with who I am without feeling any shame, condemnation or judgement.

The greatest success/challenge in my life so far would definitely have to be coming to terms with my sexuality and realising that there was nothing wrong with who I truly was.

I knew I was gay ever since I was 8 or 9, but growing up in a strict conservative Vietnamese family meant that coming out was never an option in my mind. So from very early on, I learned to suppress that side of me and made sure that no one would ever question my sexuality. For years and years I tried to convince myself into thinking that I could live the straight life, fall in love with a girl, get married, have kids and have that house with the white picket fence; but that delusion wouldn’t last for long.

My teenage years were filled with curiosity and experimentation, which meant I had a lot of discreet experiences with other guys. Even through those experiences, I still considered myself to be straight if not bi. My later teenage years would soon get even more confusing due to me discovering the Christian faith. For years I had committed myself to the church and decided to live my life for God, and through that I was taught that living a homosexual life was a big sin. As the years progressed I knew in my heart God loved me no matter what and wasn’t concerned about my sexuality. I felt accepted by him and no one could tell me otherwise.

In my early 20’s I met a great man who would eventually become my first partner. We started out as friends with benefits and the more time I spent with him, the more I grew to like him. He helped me realise so much about myself and the LGBT community and helped me come to terms with my sexuality. For so long I had all these preconceived ideas of what it meant to be gay and after meeting so many of his friends, it showed me that homosexuals weren’t really all that different. They were human, loving, caring and different to how they were being depicted in the media.

I had reached a turning-point in my life and was certain it was time to finally free myself from feeling condemned, trapped and confused. That would mean that I would have to be honest to myself and to the people around me.

Coming out was honestly the most liberating thing I’ve ever had to do. As frightening as it was, the feeling of not having to hide and watch over my shoulder is something that I could never describe.

I think the LGBT community in Melbourne is very large and diverse. We all come from different walks of life and are all just trying to figure out life for ourselves.

The advice I would give to my younger self is to stay true to who you are, love yourself, know that things will work out in good time, and be bold and courageous during the toughest of times.”