Tag Archives: coming out

Pablo, Student, Buenos Aires, Argentina

photo by Kevin Truong

Pablo, in his own words: “The way I see it, being gay is just another part of my personality. I don´t follow a so-called “gay lifestyle” and I usually don´t like things gay people like. I´d like to think of me as a guy who likes guys.

Being gay in Argentina doesn´t mean hiding all the time. Gay marriage is legal here and being homosexual is not frowned upon, as it is in many other more “civilized” countries. It´s just OK to be gay. You won´t be rejected in a job interview for being openly gay, and cases of homophobia are quite uncommon. I don´t see any challenges or successes that I got from the sole act of being gay. I personally think that these challenges and successes are part of our everyday life, our social circle, our community and, most important, our attitude. We have to live with it. That´s all.

To be honest I haven´t come out yet. I know that my mother and my sister know something about my sexuality but we don´t talk about it. My father doesn´t know anything. I don’t know if he is blind or if he is just not accepting it. Anyways, I feel that I am stuck with this because I don´t want to hurt him.

(With regards to the gay community in Buenos Aires) I would say that it is very active. Buenos Aires is a big city, so there are parties almost every weekend. Being gay is accepted and normal.

(With regards to advice to my younger self)I would probably tell myself not to be afraid to come out. The sooner, the better.”

Itallo, Business Admininstration, Brasilia, Brazil

photo by Kevin Truong

Itallo, in his own words: “Ser gay para mim significa ser tolerante a diversidade, autêntico, lutador, independente, ter jogo cintura diante da ignorância da sociedade e acima de tudo ser um cidadão que merece respeito independentemente de sua orientação sexual.

O maior desafio que já tive foi morar sozinho em outro estado, pois sou do interior do Maranhão, município chamado de Pindaré-Mirim, que significa em tupi, língua indígena brasileira, peixe pequeno. Desta forma, sai da minha zona de conforto e vim morar sozinho em Brasília, capital do Brasil, sem parentes e amigos por perto, ou seja, foi bem difícil para mim no início, hábitos e costumes totalmente diferentes da minha terra natal.

Minha maior conquista foi em meio as dificuldades financeiras, consegui concluir minha graduação em Administração e atualmente trabalho na área.

Me assumi um pouco antes de me mudar para Brasília, aos 20 anos de idade, na verdade foi uma situação em que minha mãe me surpreendeu, no que diz respeito a reação. Dou ênfase a minha mãe, pois foi ela sozinha que me criou, sendo meu pai e minha mãe, uma mulher independente que sempre correu atrás daquilo que acreditava, uma mulher que admiro muito.

A comunidade gay em Brasília podemos dizer que possui certa liberdade, as ações da secretaria dos direitos humanos voltados para o meio LGBT é mais ativo, mesmo a sociedade apresentando ser preconceituosa quanto a pessoa gay e afins, possuímos certo privilégios/liberdade para nos expô e lutar pelos nossos direitos e respeitar entre nós mesmos os nossos deveres.

Independentemente de ser gay ou não, seja você mesmo acima de tudo e lute pelos seus sonhos, a vida em si não é fácil, e pior ela é muito curta, então, corra atrás, lute, para crescer na vida, ser independente, óbvio que nessa jornada terá que realizar alguns sacrifícios, mas todos nós alguma hora na vida sacrificamos algo para conseguir evoluir e crescer como pessoas e sermos satisfeitas com a vida que escolhemos, algo que acredito ser muito importante, então, acredite em você e se conheça, para poder assumir sua orientação com naturalidade e sabedoria, seja feliz!”

In English:

“Being gay for me means being tolerant to diversity, authentic, a fighter, independent, and above all to be a citizen who deserves respect regardless of their sexual orientation.

The biggest challenge I’ve ever had was living alone in another state, for I am from the interior of Maranhão, municipality called Pindaré-Mirim, which means in Tupi, Brazil’s indigenous language, small fish. Thus, out of my comfort zone I came to live alone in Brasilia, capital of Brazil, without family and friends around, i.e., it was hard for me at first, the habits and customs are totally different from my homeland.

My greatest achievement was in the midst of financial difficulties, being able to complete my degree in Business Administration and currently working in the area.

I (came out) a little before I moved to Brasilia, as a 20-year-old, and it was actually a situation where my mother surprised me, with regards to her reaction. I emphasize my mother because it was she alone who created me, was my father and my mother, an independent woman who always went after what she believed in, a woman I admire very much.

The gay community in Brasilia we can say has some freedom, the secretary of the actions of human rights facing the LGBT media is more active, even presenting society being prejudiced as a gay person and the like, we have certain privileges / freedom to expose us and fight for our rights and respect among ourselves and our duties.

(Advice I’d give my younger self) Whether you are gay or not, be yourself above all and fight for your dreams, life itself is not easy, and worse it is too short, so, chase, fight, to grow in life, be independent, this journey you will have to make some sacrifices, but all of us at some time in life sacrifice something to evolve and grow as people and be satisfied with the life we choose, something which I believe is very important, then, believe in yourself and know, in order to take his guidance and wisdom naturally, be happy!”

Mauricio, Film Maker, Buenos Aires, Argentina

photo by Kevin Truong

Mauricio, in his own words: “I remember being just 11 or 12 years old and one night going to bed crying; I had spent the afternoon at one of my closest Friends house hanging out with him and some others Friends from school, at one point (I don’t remember why) one of them said I was weird and different because I liked boys, my other friends agreed but none of us really understood what that meant, all I knew was I was being set apart from the rest of my friends and it hurt. That night my mom asked what was wrong and called my dad into my room, I told them what had happened and how I did not understand why being different was wrong, I was so sad…

Without hesitating my dad said that there was nothing wrong with me and that of course I was different from everyone else, that that’s something we all have in common, differences. Then my mom asked me if I knew exactly what those kids were talking about, I said “I think they were saying I’m gay” and she said no one had the right to tell me what I am, and that if I actually was it was only a part of me to be proud of, like my brown eyes and my large ears. I slept like a baby that night.

I never came out, I just never felt like I had to tell anyone that I’m into guys and not girls, my friends and family know I’m gay because they asked and I said yes; at first I think I avoided confrontation fearing rejection, but happily that didn’t last long, the thing is I grew up surrounded by loving people, I know I’m extremely lucky because of this, and thanks to that I’m a proud young man, kind and confident and in the search of true happiness.

I’m not really in touch with the gay community in Buenos Aires, I try to be aware of what’s happening all the time but I keep my distance, because I respect it so much, I’m still trying to understand myself and when I feel ready I know I want to take an active part in it; years ago I decided I wouldn’t let my sexuality define who I am and I know that people fighting for our rights have been responsible for this being possible and I’m so thankful, but I guess the truth was, until a few years ago, I didn’t want to belong to anything, I just wanted to be free. When the night the marriage equality bill passed I decided I wanted to be there to see it, so I stayed up all night waiting for the results in la Plaza del Congresso, happy, knowing that history was about to happen and that many people were closer to equality in the country I decided to call home. That night I discovered that in order to be happily different everybody has to have chances in life.

I think the only thing I would advise my younger self would be to trust more in people, it took me a while to do it and when it happened I started living life at it’s fullest, closer to happiness surrounded by people whom I love and who love me.”