Tag Archives: brazil

Itallo, Business Admininstration, Brasilia, Brazil

photo by Kevin Truong

Itallo, in his own words: “Ser gay para mim significa ser tolerante a diversidade, autêntico, lutador, independente, ter jogo cintura diante da ignorância da sociedade e acima de tudo ser um cidadão que merece respeito independentemente de sua orientação sexual.

O maior desafio que já tive foi morar sozinho em outro estado, pois sou do interior do Maranhão, município chamado de Pindaré-Mirim, que significa em tupi, língua indígena brasileira, peixe pequeno. Desta forma, sai da minha zona de conforto e vim morar sozinho em Brasília, capital do Brasil, sem parentes e amigos por perto, ou seja, foi bem difícil para mim no início, hábitos e costumes totalmente diferentes da minha terra natal.

Minha maior conquista foi em meio as dificuldades financeiras, consegui concluir minha graduação em Administração e atualmente trabalho na área.

Me assumi um pouco antes de me mudar para Brasília, aos 20 anos de idade, na verdade foi uma situação em que minha mãe me surpreendeu, no que diz respeito a reação. Dou ênfase a minha mãe, pois foi ela sozinha que me criou, sendo meu pai e minha mãe, uma mulher independente que sempre correu atrás daquilo que acreditava, uma mulher que admiro muito.

A comunidade gay em Brasília podemos dizer que possui certa liberdade, as ações da secretaria dos direitos humanos voltados para o meio LGBT é mais ativo, mesmo a sociedade apresentando ser preconceituosa quanto a pessoa gay e afins, possuímos certo privilégios/liberdade para nos expô e lutar pelos nossos direitos e respeitar entre nós mesmos os nossos deveres.

Independentemente de ser gay ou não, seja você mesmo acima de tudo e lute pelos seus sonhos, a vida em si não é fácil, e pior ela é muito curta, então, corra atrás, lute, para crescer na vida, ser independente, óbvio que nessa jornada terá que realizar alguns sacrifícios, mas todos nós alguma hora na vida sacrificamos algo para conseguir evoluir e crescer como pessoas e sermos satisfeitas com a vida que escolhemos, algo que acredito ser muito importante, então, acredite em você e se conheça, para poder assumir sua orientação com naturalidade e sabedoria, seja feliz!”

In English:

“Being gay for me means being tolerant to diversity, authentic, a fighter, independent, and above all to be a citizen who deserves respect regardless of their sexual orientation.

The biggest challenge I’ve ever had was living alone in another state, for I am from the interior of Maranhão, municipality called Pindaré-Mirim, which means in Tupi, Brazil’s indigenous language, small fish. Thus, out of my comfort zone I came to live alone in Brasilia, capital of Brazil, without family and friends around, i.e., it was hard for me at first, the habits and customs are totally different from my homeland.

My greatest achievement was in the midst of financial difficulties, being able to complete my degree in Business Administration and currently working in the area.

I (came out) a little before I moved to Brasilia, as a 20-year-old, and it was actually a situation where my mother surprised me, with regards to her reaction. I emphasize my mother because it was she alone who created me, was my father and my mother, an independent woman who always went after what she believed in, a woman I admire very much.

The gay community in Brasilia we can say has some freedom, the secretary of the actions of human rights facing the LGBT media is more active, even presenting society being prejudiced as a gay person and the like, we have certain privileges / freedom to expose us and fight for our rights and respect among ourselves and our duties.

(Advice I’d give my younger self) Whether you are gay or not, be yourself above all and fight for your dreams, life itself is not easy, and worse it is too short, so, chase, fight, to grow in life, be independent, this journey you will have to make some sacrifices, but all of us at some time in life sacrifice something to evolve and grow as people and be satisfied with the life we choose, something which I believe is very important, then, believe in yourself and know, in order to take his guidance and wisdom naturally, be happy!”

Daniel, Journalist, Brasilia, Brazil

photo by Kevin Truong

Daniel, in his own words: “Na minha vida, ser assumidamente gay significa muito mais do que ser atraído por outros rapazes. É o primeiro passo de uma longa jornada rumo à liberdade. Um caminho cheio de descobertas, possibilidades e experiências incríveis. Mas nem sempre foi fácil.

Tive que lidar desde muito cedo com o preconceito, principalmente dentro de casa. Ao contrário da maior parte dos meninos, eu andava mais com as garotas; preferia ginástica olímpica ao invés de futebol. Era muito criticado por gostar de dançar, de cantar… acabei abrindo mão de muita coisa na tentativa de agradar meus pais. Lembro bem de como me sentia pressionado a ser mais “homem”.

Eu ficava muito triste e confuso com as cobranças. Não conhecia ninguém que fosse abertamente gay. Tampouco me reconhecia com o modelo caricato de homossexual que era mostrado na televisão. Parecia que não havia espaço no mundo para mim.

Com o passar dos anos, comecei a entrar em contato com ideias feministas por meio de artistas como Alanis Morissette, Shirley Manson e Gwen Stefani. Mas foi só no ensino médio que fiz amigos que compartilhavam dos mesmos interesses. Foi a primeira vez que me senti confortável para aceitar a minha gayzisse.

Nessa época, descobri que não estava sozinho; ao contrário – havia muita gente com os mesmos dilemas que eu. Descobri que era OK ser gay. Foi nessa época que passei a ter menos vergonha de quem sou.

Meus pais demoraram um pouco para aceitar essa condição, mas depois ficou tudo bem. Agora podemos conversamos abertamente sobre o assunto. Hoje, posso dizer que sinto orgulho de mim mesmo.

Se eu pudesse dizer alguma coisa para o Daniel criança, eu provavelmente diria para ele ter menos medo. Ser gay não é tão assustador ou “anormal” quanto parece. Diria para ele se divertir mais; ligar menos para o que os outros dizem. Para buscar a liberdade dentro dele, não nos outros ao redor.”

In English:

“In my life, being openly gay means more than being attracted to other boys. It is the first step in a long journey towards freedom. A path full of discoveries, possibilities and amazing experiences. But it was not always easy.

I had to deal with very early prejudice, mainly indoors. Unlike most boys, I walked over to the girls; preferred gymnastics instead of football. Was widely criticized for liking dancing, singing … I was just opening up a lot in trying to please my parents. I remember well how I felt pressured to be more of a “man”.

I was very sad and confused. I did not know anyone who was openly gay. Nor did I identify with the homosexual caricature model that was shown on television. It seemed that there was no room in the world for me.

Over the years, I began to become familiar with feminist ideas through artists such as Alanis Morissette, Shirley Manson and Gwen Stefani. But it was only in high school that I made friends who shared the same interests. It was the first time I felt comfortable accepting my gayness.

At that time, I discovered I was not alone; on the contrary – there were many people with the same dilemma as me. I found it was OK to be gay. It was then that I began to be less ashamed of who I am.

My parents took a while to accept this condition, but afterwards it was all right. Now we can openly talk about it. Today, I can say that I am proud of myself.

If I could say something to the child Daniel, I’d probably tell him to be less afraid. Being gay is not as scary or “abnormal” as it seems. I would tell him to have more fun; care less about what others say. To seek freedom within it, not the other around.”

Flavio, Photographer, São Paulo

photo by Kevin Truong

Flavio, in his own words: “Wow… tough one this first question…I guess that being gay means being normal, just like being straight. Of course that being gay in today’s world means that you are very likely to face a few challenges that, in theory, straight people wouldn’t face. But I truly don’t feel different just because I’m a man who likes men. I guess I used to feel different when I was younger, but, to be honest, looking back now, I actually believe that this feeling doesn’t necessarily have to do with being gay – I’m just a bit like a fish out of water in the way I behave, think, etc. Yes, being gay might have played a part in this as it meant feeling awkward when I was a kid/teenager but, truth be told, if it wasn’t for the bullying, the awkwardness probably would not have any sort of link with my sexual orientation.

On one hand, yes, being gay means that you are a part of a smaller group in today’s society and therefore it’d be naive to believe that people would treat you like they treat everyone else. Humans tend to respond to everything that is “different” in a very peculiar way (aggressive and negative at most times, unfortunately). But, on the other hand, I couldn’t think of a better time to “be gay” (if that makes sense). We’re not coming out as a group, we are out already. And we have a lot of respect from a lot of people, exactly because they recognize what a battle we had to go through to stand where we are. If we still have a lot to “conquer” in terms of respect, understanding and civil rights? Hell yeah. I speak as a Brazilian gay who comes from a very open minded family. But I know it’s a completely different story in other places, even in my country. But then I’m just being as positive as I can: I’m looking to the glass and I’m thinking it is half full, and not half empty. It will take ages for society to make it a full glass and for everyone to truly accept that not every man desires a woman, but I remember when my generation (at least in Brasil) came out when we were teenagers and what a nightmare that was generally. I have friends that really went through a living hell in their parents’ houses. And I’m not saying that nowadays is an easy thing to do, but we progressed so, so much. 10-15 years ago it was a completely different story.

In terms of challenges, I’m happy to say that the only big “problem” I had for being gay was the fact that I was quite bullied at school. And what an irony: I didn’t even know that I was gay. Kids can be horrible… But a lot of children go through bullying and of course it’s not always because they’re gay. So maybe I would have suffered from this situation anyway, even If I wasn’t a homossexual. I like to believe that I did quite well for someone who really had a disgusting experience at school for such a long period of time (I remember being called nasty things even after high school). I tend to be a bit aggressive, which is a negative aspect of my personality, but it’s how I managed to “survive” and it must be said that this fierceness has helped me so much in so many fields of my life. So no, I wouldn’t change any of the things I went through as a little boy. The cliche is true: what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, right? I know people that are still dealing with these demons from their childhoods, but I think I already overcame this in a healthy way: I don’t hate people, children, men, society, etc etc. I am very aware of the cruelty that exists in the world, but this perception has only made me more sensitive to the ones that are outcasts in society. I’d say that’s my real success in terms of being gay: the awareness and sensibility towards the others

The gay community in São Paulo is quite diverse at the moment. I think there’s a little treat for everyone… Of course there’s the typical “gay scene” that kinda looks like “Queer as Folk”, but then there’s the hipster scenario, the fancy gays, etc etc. We do have the biggest Gay Parade in the world, but I don’t think most of us are what you would expect from a militant, you know? The parade is just one big crazy day for everyone really… Our community is very Grindr/Tinder-driven at the moment, but very hypocritical when it comes to being open about promiscuous sex. Maybe it is a brazilian thing… we have naked people in tv adverts, soap operas, etc, but we’re still a very conservative country somehow. I lived in London for 3 years and I remember being surprised with the way gay man would live their sexual lives. Even in the clubbing scene: it is ok for a man to go to a kinky club in Europe. Here in Brasil it’s something you probably wouldn’t do or wouldn’t share, even with some of your closest friends. It’s seems silly to me…

Coming out wasn’t a big thing for me. I mean: it did take me ages to do so. I was 19 when I first told a dear friend of mine, who was out already. But once I did it, I just felt free (I guess that’s what most gay man experience, right?) and ended up telling everyone one, including my family and they were quite supportive I’d say. I had never kissed anyone before that (not even a girl), so I guess the biggest problem I had wasn’t being gay, but being a complete weirdo in that sense. Obviously coming out opened doors and possibilities and it didn’t take a lot of time for me to eventually snog someone. Yes, it was a man I think that if I had not gone through bullying at school, coming out could have happened earlier… but who knows??? Maybe the fact that kids used to call me “gay” helped me realise that they were right after all… those bitches… lol…

If I could give an advice to myself before I came out I’d say: you know you are an amazing person behind this big fear of yours, so be brave and show the world and yourself how strong you can be, otherwise you’ll never truly be “complete”. It doesn’t have to do with being gay and hooking up with other man, though that’s a big part of it and quite pleasurable… It has to do with being yourself entirely and letting go of the worst fear of them all: the fear of being happy ps. let us not forget that that’s what the word “gay” means.”

THE GAY MEN PROJECT

The visual catalog of gay and queer men around the world.

Tag Archives: brazil

Itallo, Business Admininstration, Brasilia, Brazil

Daniel, Journalist, Brasilia, Brazil

Flavio, Photographer, São Paulo