Tag Archives: apartments

Tom, DJ and Community Activist, San Francisco

photo by Kevin Truong

Tom, in his own words: “(Being gay has) been a gift for me! My worldview and creative output are so shaped by my being queer and i’m pretty proud of both. The people i’ve met, the places i’ve gone, the things i’ve accomplished, so many of those things wouldn’t have happened if I weren’t queer and I wouldn’t trade them for anything.

(With regards to challenges) Aside from occasionally having ‘faggot’ shouted at me on the street and a few tumultuous teenage years (I haven’t had) too many to speak of. I’m sure that there have been more subtle challenges but my life as a gay men has been largely without incident and I’m very thankful and lucky to be able to say that.

(The gay scene in San Francisco is) pretty spectacular. When I first moved here I felt like looking at the queer scene was like standing on the edge of the ocean — It was so vast and had far too much depth to ever understand. Having been here for eight years now it certainly doesn’t appear as vast as it once does but its still very impressive. It’s amazing living in a city where there’s such a diversity of experiences and interests that there isn’t a ‘gay scene’ to speak of but rather communities within that that congregate around other interests and just happen to be queer.

(With regards to coming out) I’ve been out for 11 years now, and it’s been mostly uphill since that moment. I met my first other gay boy my age when I was a sophomore in High School, fell in love with him, had my heart ripped out, told everyone it was happening because I didn’t want to be alone in love/despair and that was pretty much that. My friends were all mostly supportive and my parents ultimately were too. Now they come to my queer parties, ask about how my boyfriends are doing and all that.”

Michael, Psychiatrist, San Francisco

photo by Kevin Truong

Michael, in his own words: “Being gay means having a love and appreciation for the same sex in the way that other people may have a love and appreciation for the opposite sex. It’s natural and human, and it’s beautiful. It took me a long time to realize this truth. Growing up, I managed to internalize
a lot of homophobia that made it hard for me to be myself around others. I did not come out to anybody while I was in school, and I closed myself off to a lot of experiences, including loving ones. I delayed gratification in one part of my life to pursue success in other parts.

I came to San Francisco hoping that just the act of moving to a gay-friendly city would make changes in my life. I realized that it would take a lot more than that. I slowly but surely started coming
out to friends and family. None of my fears became reality. Instead, I found my myself growing in positive ways and being embraced by others in ways I had never imagined. San Francisco has a culture of acceptance that I haven’t seen in many other places. Being gay here does not make you different. Instead it makes you a member of a community that is still a part of humanity.”

Leonard, Visual Merchandiser/Designer/Creative, San Francisco

photo by Kevin Truong

Leonard, in his own words: For me, to be gay might mean something a little different than most. I was born and raised in the Bahamas, which is uber conservative, and being gay is not generally acceptable…though I always knew I was. This of course was very difficult, but in many ways I am grateful for my upbringing and became a much stronger individual because of it. I learned that I do not have to do what everyone else is doing, nor am I supposed to.

After growing up in Nassau, moving to San Francisco fascinated me because I always thought how amazing it would be to see the rainbow of gays whom I imagined to be here. Of course, some actual “individual” gays do exist, but it seems like most gays have assimilated to a stereotypical “gay mold” in an effort to be accepted as some type of normal. That may be fine for those who want to be accepted by everyone, but I would rather be accepted on my own terms than anyone else’s. Lucky for me, all my dearest friends (I think) feel the same way!

THE GAY MEN PROJECT

The visual catalog of gay and queer men around the world.

Tag Archives: apartments

Tom, DJ and Community Activist, San Francisco

Michael, Psychiatrist, San Francisco

Leonard, Visual Merchandiser/Designer/Creative, San Francisco