Pablo, Professor, Santiago, Chile

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

Pablo, in his own words: ” Ser gay es amar a una persona del mismo sexo. No me gustan los estereotipos sobre ser gay, ser hombre o ser mujer, porque creo que cada uno debe tener la libertad de ser quien quiere ser. Lamentablemente en nuestra sociedad muchas veces las personas se ven limitadas a ser quienes pueden ser y eso es algo que debemos cambiar. Tanto en Chile como en gran parte del mundo, a lo largo de la historia, el ser gay ha traído consecuencias negativas como la discriminación, la negación de derechos y en algunos casos la persecución. En la actualidad, se vive en Chile un proceso de apertura histórico en el que se debaten temas como la identidad de género y el matrimonio igualitario y me interesa ser parte de ese momento, es por eso que acepté ser el Vocero y Asesor Comunicacional de la Fundación Daniel Zamudio. La fundación fue creada por los padres y amigos de Daniel Zamudio quien murió como consecuencia de un ataque homofóbico. Lamentablemente fue necesario que muriera una persona para que en Chile se aprobara la Ley Anti Discriminación que hasta ese momento llevaba años discutiéndose en el Congreso sin avanzar. Desde la fundación puedo hacer un aporte a la lucha por la igualdad de derechos, especialmente en lo relativo a la inclusión, la diversidad y la familia que son los ejes de la organización.

Siento que los gays somos cada vez más visibles y que eso es positivo, porque ayuda a tener una vivencia de la homosexualidad más sana, libre y feliz. Afortunadamente estoy en un momento en mi vida en el que me siento pleno, amado y valorado, preparado para hacer un aporte, y me gustaría que todos los gays pudiesen experimentar lo mismo, porque ser gay no debiera ser una limitación en nuestras vidas.

Para mí el desafío más importante en la vida es amar y ser amado. Se pueden tener éxitos en lo profesional, ganar muchos premios, pero nada supera en mi opinión a la felicidad de amar y ser amado, es algo en lo que sinceramente creo aún cuando en la actualidad se cuestiona tanto al amor romántico. Obviamente no creo en príncipes azules, ni en finales felices de cuentos de hadas, pero sí creo en que la felicidad se construye todos los días junto a la pareja. Creo además que todos tenemos derecho a ser felices.

Pensando en lo que la sociedad entiende por desafíos y éxitos, tendría que mencionar el haber ganado los concursos Mister Gay Chile 2009 – 2010 y Mister Gay International 2011 gracias a eso pude crecer como comunicador, viajar y conocer personas maravillosas. Fue una experiencia interesante el ser un Mister porque existen muchos prejuicios respecto de eso y la gente trata de hacerte encajar en un estereotipo, humildemente creo que no me dejé atrapar en un estereotipo porque para mí las bandas siempre fueron una plataforma para entregar un mensaje en beneficio de la población LGBTIQ y no un fin en sí mismo.

Tener la oportunidad de estudiar también fue un desafío exitoso porque en Chile la educación universitaria es muy cara, gracias al esfuerzo de mi familia y mi propio esfuerzo pude estudiar Historia en la Universidad de Chile y posteriormente un Magister en Comunicación. Además de trabajar en la fundación, soy profesor en el Liceo CEP, que tiene un 92% de alumnos vulnerables. Ser profesor es un trabajo muy desafiante y complejo, sobretodo en un contexto de vulnerabilidad social. Los profesores trabajamos formando personas, es una tremenda responsabilidad y la sociedad no siempre lo reconoce, no obstante es un trabajo que brinda grandes satisfacciones y que te enriquece como persona.

No me gusta hablar de comunidad gay, prefiero pensar en una población gay, lo que aparentemente es una diferencia sutil pero que para mí es una diferencia profunda y que tiene que ver con cómo entendemos lo que somos y lo que tenemos en común. Al ser gays tenemos en común el ser discriminado, porque si te quieres casar con tu novio no podrás hacerlo. La discriminación ante la ley es para todos iguales, independiente de que seas un gay rico o pobre. El estar todos discriminados por las mismas leyes es algo a partir de lo que si podríamos hablar de una comunidad, porque es algo común a todos. No obstante, sé que no a todos los gays les interesa luchar por sus derechos, en el fondo creo que no entienden la importancia de estos o probablemente lo que para mí es importante no lo sea para ellos. Ante todo hay que respetar la libertad de cada uno para ser quien quiere ser.

Creo que lo más cercano a la idea de comunidad gay en Santiago es lo que se ve en el centro de la ciudad. El centro de Santiago es similar a lo que Frédéric Martel llama un barrio alternativo, en su libro Global Gay, uno de los tipos de vecindario gay. “un centro histórico en decadencia (como en los downtowns de San Luis, Kansas City o Boston). Por una razón misteriosa, sin duda ligada a los precios ventajosos de los alquileres, los gays se instalan, lo mismo que los artistas y toda la <>… El barrio renace y muy pronto se <>”. Eso es lo que sucedió con el centro de Santiago, en el que viven muchos gays y encuentras pubs y discotecas enfocadas a ese público. En mi opinión la mejor expresión de la población gay en Santiago, no es el barrio mismo, sino la marcha LGBTIQ que este año se llamó Marcha por el respeto de la diversidad sexual, que no es solamente una manifestación de los gays, las lesbianas, los bisexuales y los trans sino de todos los que creemos en el respeto a la diversidad. En el centro de Santiago se realizan muchas marchas durante todos los meses, pero esa marcha es especial porque además de ser una reivindicación política, es una celebración que llena de colorido y música las calles, con performances y carros alegóricos, tiene lo festivo de las gay parades de otras ciudades y lo político de una marcha con discursos por la igualdad de derechos.

Salir del closet fue algo liberador, sentí que me saqué un peso de encima y afortunadamente tengo una familia y amigos que me apoyan y aceptan tal cual soy. Yo tuve una infancia muy feliz en Panamá que fue donde nací. Mi padre es chileno y fue exiliado por la dictadura militar de Augusto Pinochet y en Panamá conoció a mi madre que es panameña. A Chile llegué a los 15 años de edad y tuve una adolescencia feliz, sabía que no sentía como se suponía que debía sentir, pero no lo aceptaba. No puedo decir que eso me atormentara, la verdad siempre me he sentido un afortunado y doy gracias por lo que la vida me ha dado. Miro hacia atrás y no me arrepiento de muchas cosas porque creo que he aprendido de mis aciertos y errores, de las experiencias buenas y malas. El miedo a salir del closet era porque pensaba que la gente me podía rechazar, pero no fue así. Finalmente a los 22 años salí del closet y la gente que me ama y a la que amo, me acepta tal cual soy y eso me hace muy feliz. Me alegra ver que a diferencia de lo que le pasó a los gays de mi generación, hoy en día es cada vez más común que no hay que salir del closet. Me refiero a los chicos que asumen su homosexualidad sin tantas complicaciones. En mi caso fue un proceso largo, en el que no aceptaba que era gay y que trataba de luchar contra lo que sentía, hasta que ya acepté que soy lo que soy y decidí vivir conforme a ello.

Salir del closet públicamente a los 29 años fue un poco más estresante pero resultó bien. Cuando entré al concurso Mister Gay Chile me entrevistaron por primera vez en TV y temí por la reacción de mis alumnos, de los padres y de mis colegas. Salvo contadas excepciones, la mayoría de la gente ha entendido que el que yo sea gay no me hace ni mejor ni peor profesor y eso es un ejemplo de que la mentalidad de las personas está cambiando.

A mi yo más joven le diría: no seas ciego, acéptate tal cual eres y prepárate que lo mejor está por venir.”

In English:

“Being gay means loving someone of the same sex. I do not like stereotypes about being gay – being a man or woman – because I believe everyone should be able to choose who they want to be. Unfortunately in our society, people are often limited to express themselves and that is something that must change. Both Chile and a great part of the world, throughout history, being gay is a synonym of discrimination, denial of rights and persecution in some cases. At present, Chilean society is experiencing a historical process in which issues such as gender identity and same-sex marriage are in debate. As I am interested in being part of this process, I agreed to be the spokesperson and Communications Advisor in Daniel Zamudio Foundation. The foundation was created by parents and friends of Daniel Zamudio who died of a homophobic attack. Unfortunately, a person had to die in Chile so that an Anti-Discrimination Bill, which was on hold in the Congress, could be passed. Being a member of the foundation, I can support in the struggle for equal rights, especially to social inclusion, diversity and family that are the focus of the organization.

I feel that gays are becoming more and more visible in society, experiencing a healthier, happier and free homosexuality. Fortunately I ‘m at a point in my life where I feel complete, loved and valued, ready to make a contribution to society. I wish all gays could experience the same thing. Being gay should not be a limitation in our lives.

The biggest challenge in life is to love and be loved. You can have professional success and win many awards, but in my opinion, nothing can beat the joy of loving and being loved. It is something that I truly believe in even when romantic love is being questioned so much. I do not obviously believe in Prince Charming, neither in happy endings of fairytales, but I believe that happiness is built every day with your couple. I also believe that everyone has the right to be happy.

Thinking about what society acknowledges as challenges and successes, I have to mention that I was Mister Gay Chile 2009 – 2010 and Mr Gay International 2011. Thanks to this experience, I was able to grow as a communicator, travel abroad and meet wonderful people. It was a very interesting experience because there are many prejudices about beauty contests and people try to make you fit into a stereotype. I used these contests as a means to deliver a positive message about the LGBTIQ population instead of just focusing in winning a beauty contest.

Studying in Chile was another challenge that I was able to overcome because University education is extremely expensive in this country. Thanks to the efforts of my family and my commitment I was able to study History at the University of Chile and later a Masters in Communication. Besides working on the foundation, I am a full time teacher at the Centro de Educación Pudahuel (CEP) High school, whose 92 % of students are vulnerable. Being a teacher is a very challenging and complex task, especially in a context of social vulnerability. Teachers educate students and it is a tremendous responsibility. Society does not always recognize the importance of being a teacher. However, it is a very gratifying job that enriches you as a person.

Instead of talking about the gay community, I refer to it as gay population. It is a subtle difference but for me it has a different deep meaning and it has to do with how we understand who we are and what we have in common. Discrimination is a common feature of being gay, since gay marriage is not legal in Chile. Discrimination under the law is the same for all gay people, either you have a high or low middle class background.

Being discriminated under the same law brings us together to form a community that is common to all of us. However, I know that not all gay people are interested in fighting for their own rights. I think they do not understand the importance of these rights and their priorities may differ from mine. First of all, we all need to respect others opinions and freedom.

The center of Santiago is the closest idea of a gay community in the city. This area is similar to what Frédéric Martel called an alternative district in his book Global Gay, one of the many types of gay neighborhoods: “A historical center in decline (like the downtowns in St. Louis, Kansas City or Boston). For some mysterious reason, obviously linked to the favorable rents, gays settled down in the area, as well as artists and the “creative class”. The neighborhood is reborn and “gentrification” appears soon. That’s what happened with the center of Santiago, where gays live and find many pubs and nightclubs for the gay audience. In my opinion, the best expression of the gay population in Santiago is not the neighborhood itself, but the LGBTIQ parade that this year was called Respect Sexual Diversity Parade. It is not only a manifestation of gays, lesbians, bisexuals and transsexuals but everyone who believe in respecting diversity. Mostly all the parades in Santiago are held in the downtown, but this parade is special because besides being a political vindication, it is a colorful celebration filling the streets with music and performances. The parade has the features of gay parades in other cities and the political discourse for equal rights

Coming out of the closet was something liberating and I felt that I lift a load off my mind. Fortunately, I have supporting family and friends who accept me for who I am. I had a very happy childhood in Panama where I was born. My father is Chilean exiled by the military dictatorship of Augusto Pinochet and there, he met my mother who is Panamanian. I moved to Chile when I was 15 years old and I had a very happy adolescence. I knew I did not feel like I was supposed to, but did not accept it. I cannot say that tortured me, since I have always felt fortunate and I thank for what life has given me. I look back and do not regret many things because I think I’ve learned from my successes and failures, good and bad experiences. I was scared of coming out of the closet because I thought people would reject me, but it was not. Finally when I turned 22, I came out to the people I love and they accepted me the way I am. I am glad to see that unlike what happened to the gays of my generation, today it is becoming more common not to come out of the closet. I refer to guys who acknowledged their homosexuality from the very beginning. In my case, it was a long process, in which I did not accept that I was gay and I was trying to fight against it, until I accepted myself and I decided to live accordingly.

Coming out publicly at the age of 29 was a bit more stressful but it turned out fine. When I participated in the Mister Gay Chile contest I was interviewed for the first time on TV and I feared the reaction of my students, parents and colleagues. Except for a few cases, most people understood that being gay does not make me a better or worse teacher and this is a clear example that the mentality of society is changing for acceptance.

My advice to my younger self is: Do not be blind, accept yourself as you are, and be prepared since the best is yet to come.”

My Eleven Favorite Images

I just counted, and I’ve photographed five-hundred-and-fifty-five individuals so far for the Gay Men Project. Every once and awhile I like to pick out my favorite images from the thousands I’ve taken, and this time I tried to narrow it down to my top ten, but I just couldn’t. So here are my top eleven favorite images, and the stories behind them.

#11. Simon, from Montreal.

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

Actually, I don’t know why I love this image so much. I can’t say there is anything that really stands out to me, but I just love it. Maybe it’s his hand (which I swear was a natural gesture he made on his own) or maybe it is the fact that Simon is so incredibly handsome. I’m ashamed to admit, I’ve photographed so many people that I’m starting to forget peoples’ names, but the one thing I can always remember is the first moment I see someone. I think Simon was a bit late, and I was a bit flustered because I didn’t have any cell phone service to check on him, but then I remember he rode up on a skate board, and all I could think was “OMG this boy is so cute AND he’s riding a skate board.” Plus Simon really wants to be a dad. Whoever he ends up raising a family with will be one lucky guy.

#10. David, from New York City.

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

I don’t remember how I was introduced to David, but like most people from this project, I photographed him the moment I met him. And I remember David lives way uptown in New York City, like Inwood or Harlem or something. And I remember I photographed him at night. And to be honest, I remember thinking, I hope this guy doesn’t kill me. But when I met him, I don’t know if he was shy, or nervous, but he genuinely had this quiet softness to him that was really appealing. I love this picture because of that quality in him, I mean he’s obviously a strong guy with a big guitar, but there’s something quiet about him that I’m really drawn to. And I always shoot with ambient light, and everyone knows tungsten light can be really gross, but I think for this picture it works.

#09. Tom, from San Francisco.

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

Tom, I love Tom. If I ever move to San Francisco I hope to become better friends with Tom. If I remember correctly, Tom has this voice and personality, that just needs a podium or a loud speaker. Once again, I remember the first time I saw Tom, and it wasn’t at his apartment for the shoot. Tom was one of my last shoots in San Francisco, and I was exhausted. I had photographed like twenty guys in three days, and had walked to all the shoots. And San Francisco is a city of hills. And I was walking to Tom’s place in the Mission, I think, it was close to sunset so I was stressed that I would lose the light, and then I remember, I see Tom ride past me on his bike, like going so fast. He didn’t notice me, but I noticed him and even though I hadn’t met him, I was sure it was him. And it was. I love this picture because of the cat, the way he holds the cat, and the awkwardness of the cat’s body. And the slight rim of light along the top of Tom’s head, I love it.

#08. Michael, from New York City.

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

I met Michael through a classmate, and if I remember correctly, I met him briefly before I actually photographed him. And after I met him I thought, I have to photograph this person. There’s just something that I’m really drawn to in Michael, there’s this beautiful quality he has that I feel every time I see him. I love this picture because of the colors, the patterns, the texture, the light. I love just the tiny details, the cigarette, the green ash tray, the red flower in the hair. Always one of my favorites.

#07. Stephen, from New York City.

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

Stephen. I don’t know where to start. So I won’t. There’s no point, Stephen was such an amazing character to meet, one of those New York City jewels that lives in a rent controlled midtown apartment since forever, I really can’t describe how it felt to meet him and hear his story and experience a part of his life. It’s something that I’ll cherish for the rest of mine.

#06. Evan, from Washington D.C.

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

Evan is great. So young. So cute. So Republican. The one thing I’ll always remember from our conversation is what he said about being Republican and gay, how gay men judge him more for being Republican than Republicans judge him for being gay. That always stuck with me. But the reason I love this picture so much is all about the light. Beautiful light totally does it for me.

#05. Kit and Walter, from Portland, Oregon.

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

Walter and Kit were one of the backers from my Kickstarter, and live in my hometown so I wanted to be sure and photograph them the next time I was home. My first impression of meeting them was OH MY GOSH they live in the most beautiful home I’ve ever seen in Portland. Like, I didn’t know homes like theirs existed. They were great, and I’ll be honest, I love this picture because of Walter’s mustache. And I love the dog. And visually, I think they’re a beautifully interesting couple to look at.

#04. Morgan, from Baltimore.

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

This picture has always been one of my favorites. I’ve done this list a few times, and it always changes, my affections for pictures are like my affections for men, they come in and out of favor. But I think this picture is always in my top three or five. The thing is, it’s not accurate to Morgan’s personality at all. This picture is a bit brooding, and Morgan was very extroverted and friendly and a bit bubbly. So as a portrait of Morgan, to be fair, it’s quite a failure, but visually, I just love the light, the wall paper, and the reflection in the lens of Morgan’s glasses.

#03. Kevin, from Cape Town.

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

What can I say? I love this picture because of the leaves lol.

#02. John and JD, from Mt. Pleasant, North Carolina.

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

So if I were to pick one photo that sums up the project, this would be it. And if I were to pick one shoot that sums up my experience, it’d be this one. When I did my cross country road trip across the United States, I had one goal: photograph a gay guy on a horse. So when I was told of John and JD, who have a horse farm in a small, tiny, rural town in North Carolina, I was like, I have to photograph these two. So I drove about an hour out to Mt. Pleasant from Charlotte, and met these two on their small horse farm in North Carolina. Admittedly, getting the shot took a lot of effort and coordination (there was someone behind me waving a bag on a stick to get the horses’ attention) but I just remember, once I knew I had the shot, I took a pause. I stopped to actually experience the moment. As everyone knows, taking a photo can many times interrupt the rhythm of living life. Like when someone takes a thousand pictures of a sunset instead of just experiencing it in real time. Anyhow, after I was confident I got the shot I just stopped for a moment to actually experience the moment I was living. I had just left my life in New York City only a few days earlier, and there I was, standing in the middle of a huge grass field in the middle of a small town in North Carolina in the beginning of summer, at the beginning of my around the world trip, with people I had just met, and somehow my life just seemed right. The moment was so completely random, but I knew I was exactly where I was supposed to be, and doing exactly what I was supposed to be doing.

#01. Itallo, from Brasilia.

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

I’ll be honest, I don’t know why this is my favorite picture. My favorite picture should probably be the one of John and Jd from North Carolina because of the emotional connection I have to it, but if I’m to be honest, at the moment, this is my favorite picture from the project and it’s purely based on the visual. And it has very little to do with the half naked man. Visually, I just love this picture. I’m sure this won’t always be my favorite, but as it’s fairly recent, right now it holds the top spot in my heart. Love doesn’t always make sense, and it’s not always meant to be forever.

Mvelisi, Actor, Cape Town, South Africa

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

Mvelisi, in his own words: “When I was growing up I had a best friend by the name of Toni. She lived opposite our house in Sea Point and one day after her mom saw me counting cars (again) on our wall, she came over and invited me to play with Toni. We developed a strong relationship and throughout my pre-teenage and toddler years she was my best friend.

Our friendship was rather bizarre though. Unlike any other friendship I had had, Toni insisted that I was in fact her best girl friend and throughout our friendship we played with barbies, make-believe-family (where I was the younger sister) and did incredibly girly activities. I remember for one of my earlier birthdays her father had bought me a horse set because I enjoyed playing with her’s so much.

What was incredibly surprising was that I actually enjoyed these games of ours and my time with Toni was the best in my life. You must understand, I was incredibly fat when I was younger so despite being feminine (as it was emerging) sports and typical male activities were incredibly hard for me to part-take in, let alone enjoy.

Throughout this period, I slowly began to realise that I was gay – and like many other homosexual young people I was incredibly afraid. Imagine you are around 9 and you know that you don’t fit into the mould that surrounds you, but instead know that when you grow up you will be different. What many people have come to understand is that homosexuality is not a choice and therefore we are able to understand from a young age that we like boys (or girls if you are a lesbian), what people often fail to divulge is that young children are incredibly aware of the implications that this may have and so we develop an idea of how our lives will turn out to be.

It is during this stage of development that often young, gay children decide whether they accept themselves or if they will attempt to discard their natural feelings. As you may realise, this is incredibly challenging and more often than none this process is internal and completely done in isolation. This is why it is incredibly important for homes to be nurturing for their children – again I re-iterate the idea that parents have great influence upon their children and choices are borne out of what they believe is best for their parents. Children are incredibly selfless and that is why it is important to have a strong grounding.

Even in homes where this exists, you often find that children wait years to come out of the closet. You see, for heterosexual individuals there is never a process of telling your family and friends about who you are attracted to. Now, for a gay teenager this process is incredibly psychological – you are born into something different and people will inadvertently and deliberately dislike you for it. Coming out should be a cathartic process, but having to reveal a major part of your life to the world (well the world that extends to your loved ones) is incredibly daunting. There is no going back and if you aren’t accepted initially then you may lose your family, friends and a life that you have made comfortable by hiding your identity.

This is why the best option is not to push your children or friends into coming out. You may know that they are gay, but they are not ready for you to know. It is incredibly difficult having to answer the “Are you gay?” question because at that moment, for as long as your child, brother, sister, cousin, or friend needs, he or she wants to be straight.”