Author Archives: thegaymenproject

About thegaymenproject

The Gay Men Project is a photo project by New York based photographer Kevin Truong. Truong received his BFA in from photography from the Pratt Institute in Brooklyn, NY, and has been the recipient of numerous awards, and his photo credits include the New York Times.

Michael, Interactive Media Marketing Coordinator, New York City

photo by Kevin Truong

Photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

Michael, in his own words: “To me, being gay doesn’t mean anything different than being straight. There are the obvious things, of course, like who I’m staring at in the gym versus who the guy I’m staring at is staring at, but being “out” is an entirely different thing. It’s gratifying in a way that I can scarcely find words to describe. It’s like when you envision your future self, you project a great future that often times seems light years away. Then one day, you find that some part of your dreams has been realized. Having come out recently, I feel that I can accomplish my other, more outward goals and become the future self that I envisioned now that I have an internal foundation that is absolutely fundamental to my adult development—literally a launching pad.

As far as challenges go, I’ve been terribly lucky. I have immensely supportive family and friends that I can count on, and I am very fortunate to have been born after a generation of great civil rights progress, although we are perhaps in the middle of our biggest victories to date. The real challenge for me has been growing into myself and identifying what I want, or more importantly, figuring out what I don’t want. Since I moved to New York in late 2011, I have definitely been the kid in the homo candy shop. It’s been absolutely fantastic but sometimes the things you think will make you happy end up having the opposite effect. Regardless, I advocate this trial-and-error.

Being gay in New York is perfect and horrible. On one hand, there is relatively no judgment from the public, an acceptance I’ve been starving for since I was young. Also, there are so many men with similar stories to my own, and it seems like they’re everywhere; it’s easy to find a community here. But that’s also the biggest issue when it comes to relationships: there are so many options to choose from for everything—food, clothes, significant others—, investing in any one thing is difficult. Relationships are easily strained.

I still consider myself lucky though. Growing up in Kansas, I really did think that the “phase” I was going through would pass, that I would straighten out and be just like everyone else. When I realized finally that it wasn’t a phase, I never really beat myself up about it. To me, it was matter-of-fact, and I am very rational. Even though those days were only two years ago, it feels like ages. Now, things are good. I’m good. I can look forward to what’s ahead, and only because I’ve experienced what’s behind.”

William, Student, New York City

photo by Kevin Truong

William, in his own words: “Being gay means being a person. A person with as much love as any other. A person who shares his or her love with whomever deserves it just the same as someone who is straight because being gay is no different than being straight in the sense that we all are from the species and we all are capable of the same things in one way or another.

I’ve faced many hurdles along the way during my life. People have questioned my sexuality and made it their business as early as 4th grade. Which is sad. That people will snoop and fight to get things out of you before you even know it yourself. I’ve been pushed and belittled because of my sexuality by men and women for no reason because they have this feeling inside that I will negatively effect them due to my sexuality. It’s been a struggle but I choose to ignore things because these things have no effect on me and don’t harm me in anyway because these people’s are so sad and so uncomfortable with who they are themselves.

The gay community in New York is inconsistent and slightly creepy. In a sense that you adore it like that crazy aunt who takes in stray cats and calls them her children. You love it because you have to. Because you’d be a little lost without It.

(With regards to coming out) People figured it out before me. I was an open box. Nothing to hide. I never felt the need to just explain myself and label myself. Instead, I chose to just experiment and learn about myself as a person and find myself. It’s been an easy process and everybody knows and is fine with it. It’s been an easy road on that topic and I’m blessed with that.”

Christopher, Urban Planning Graduate Student, New York City

photo by Kevin Truong

Christopher, in his own words: “In a lot of ways I’ve rejected the idea of coming out. At first due to the self imposed pressure of finding or creating the ideal moment to share my sexuality. But later, after making major progress in my own self-acceptance, I found myself questioning the usefulness presented by the culture and dichotomy of being “in” or “out” of the closet. Originally a form of activism and personal emancipation, I questioned whether coming out serves the same role in a contemporary context.

Without discrediting the importance coming out can play in the lives of many gay people especially gay youth – in many ways, I see coming out as a part of a “routinized gayness,” invariably connected to race, class, and gender privilege and assimilation into the dominant mainstream heterosexual culture. In the current dialogue on the closet and coming out, there is little consideration of the multiple dimensions of race, class, religion, capital, and gender & how they can impact one’s process of self-disclosure. We should remind ourselves the closet is not universal or consistent.

It’s my hope that by being part of this project I can encourage my community to focus less on a normalized gay experience, shaped by heteronormativity, and instead begin to define our own expressions of queerness and gayness once again.”