Monthly Archives: January 2015

Alejandro, Political Scientist, Santiago, Chile

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

Alejandro, in his own words: “Ser Gay no es una decisión, es simplemente una configuración humana que ha sido consuetudinariamente considerada “diferente” y en función de ello objeto de discriminación en diferentes niveles. Esto ha conducido a que el hecho de ser gay pase por un proceso de negación, de no querer ser diferente, porque la sociedad rechaza todo aquello que va en contra de los patrones sociales establecidos por siglos. Los principios de la humanidad están centrados en el respeto al “Ser Humano”, la Revolución Francesa defendía los principios de Libertad, Igualdad y Fraternidad, valores y condiciones que hoy en día son difusas, efímeras y moldeables y manejables, lo cierto es que no son negociables, porque los derechos no son negociables.

Para mí en particular ser Gay significa en primer lugar libertad, mi libertad personal de decidir a quién amar, a vivir mi propia vida respetando las diferencias y siendo responsable de las consecuencias de mis acciones. Esa libertad en sentido positivo, de poder ver y ser consciente que mi libertad termina donde comienza la del otro. Ser Gay para mi es poder ser yo mismo, respetar mis propios valores, porque realmente uno por ser Gay no cambia, no deja de ser hijo, hermano, familia, amigo; no se trata de un trastorno de personalidad, ni es una enfermedad que se pueda curar, se trata de una identidad sexual, no tiene matices.

Por otro lado ser Gay para mí también significa ser tolerante, y luchar por ideales humanos, porque esa igualdad sea realmente una realidad, que la convivencia y la fraternidad sean la orden del día, que no vivamos de la incertidumbre, la discriminación y la intolerancia. Ser Gay para mí significa coraje, significa amor, significa ser feliz.

Mi principal desafío fue enfrentarme a mí mismo, lograr la fuerza y aceptarme. A partir de allí comenzaría un proceso en el cual comenzaría al ser “diferente” en la sociedad, sin embargo no me costó tanto. “Salir del Closet” marcó un antes y un después, tuve la fortuna del apoyo familiar, y es simple se trata de ser felices, es el punto y ese ha sido uno de mis grandes sucesos.

Creo que ser Gay nos pone muchas cosas en perspectivas, vivimos en una sociedad que ha estado acostumbrada por siglos a un estilo de vida conservador en la medida en que promueve una serie de patrones y normas sociales, y fuera de eso genera rechazo. Mi mayor desafío ha sido luchar a diario con los esquemas y con las formas, resulta muy sencillo pensar que se tiene todo cuando tienes al lado a la persona que amas, sin embargo las desigualdades permean esas relaciones y las hacen inestables, las fragilizan. Ese ha sido uno de los principales desafíos tratar de vivir una “vida normal” en un mundo “anormal”, formal una familia bajo los conceptos tradicionales, construir un patrimonio sobre la base de la desigualdad ante la ley. Son luchas constantes, diarias, salir a la calle con la incertidumbre de que no hay garantías conjuntas, es un desafío enorme sentir que no hay garantías.

Creo que no debemos sentirnos minoría, creo que debemos cada día trabajar por sentirnos iguales, por sentirnos incluidos, en esa medida estaremos cerrando la brecha de ignorancia que existe con relación al tema de la homosexualidad, creo que en esta medida no debemos abogar por la tolerancia, debemos apelar por el respeto.

Soy el segundo varón de tres hermanos, de una forma u otra siempre he estado consciente de mí orientación, incluso de niño sentía que habían cosas diferentes. Sin ánimos de reforzar algunos estereotipos, nunca me gustó hacer deportes y me gustaban actividades de carácter más cultural. Siempre he sido muy independiente en lo que se refiere a las decisiones de mi vida, incluyendo lo sentimental. Creo que siempre lo supe, pero muchas veces me lo negué.

Mi adolescencia transcurrió “normal”, tuve de hecho algunas novias de las que incluso me enamoré. Entrada ya la etapa universitaria, comencé a entrar en contacto directo con gays, siendo yo “de closet” y negándome a mí mismo mi preferencia. Acercamientos que se convirtieron en historias, pero lo más importante de estos “experimentos” es que comencé a cuestionarme si efectivamente estaba siendo yo mismo, y cómo eso afectaba todos los aspectos de mi vida. Comencé a sentirme perseguido y presionado familiar y socialmente, confundido y muchas veces contrariado.

Como todo proceso lleva su tiempo, ya conocía en pequeña medida “el mundo gay”, y se sentía bien ser parte de algo, pero aún no estaba listo, y seguía en las sombras de la clandestinidad, escondiéndome como si lo que estuviese haciendo fuese reprochable. Tenía miedo al rechazo, tenía miedo a que me etiquetaran.

A los 23 años (hoy en día tengo 27 años), y sin mucho razonamiento ya que el tiempo había sido suficiente, decidí “salir del closet”, estaba construyendo una vida que me negaba a llevar en secreto, quería respirar eso que llaman libertad, y estar finalmente bien conmigo mismo que es por donde comienza todo. Tuve apoyo familiar y de algunos de mis amigos, con sus excepciones, pero en general el balance fue muy positivo.

Haberlo hecho, sin arrepentimientos, me ha ayudado de manera significativa a valorar lo que tengo, incrementando además mi confianza y me enseñó a creer en mí mismo. De eso se tratar de ser la mejor versión de uno mismo.

Las siglas LGTBI refieren un espacio diverso, todos forman parte de “la comunidad” con sus caracteres y matices propios, donde cada grupo aporta su autenticidad. En función de ello se han generado percepciones colectivas y estereotipos, que no involucran al grueso de la población homosexual.

Soy venezolano, pero actualmente vivo en Santiago, Chile, y hasta ahora ha sido una experiencia muy buena en muchos sentidos. La comunidad gay en Venezuela está marcada por el machismo, y por ende la discriminación es extremadamente marcada, incrustada incluso en el imaginario colectivo en un proceso de feminización impuesta, y eso ha generado muchos estereotipos asociados a la población homosexual. Esa feminización impuesta se repite en mayor o menor medida en diferentes sociedades, y refiere la atribución de cualidades femeninas al género masculino de orientación sexual diferente.

Este elemento ha marcado a “la comunidad” gay a lo largo del tiempo, y es un tabú que seguimos reproduciendo. Es un asunto de ignorancia, de inseguridad y de falta de tolerancia, en la medida en que las sociedades avanzan en estos temas, se vuelven cada vez más libres y más iguales.

La diferencia entre ambas es notable, acá en Santiago se ha logrado una coherencia, una reivindicación desde la visión de los derechos y de la igualdad. Considero que es una sociedad, que a pesar de su carácter conservar, se encuentra en vías de poder garantizar una igualdad sostenida, al menos en lo que se refiere al tema de los derechos extensivos a personas de diversa orientación sexual. En términos cotidianos es una sociedad más tolerante, más respetuosa y cada vez más tendiente al respeto de la libertad personal.

En Venezuela aún nos queda camino por recorrer, instituciones arcaicas por derrumbar y empresas por construir. Es una lucha constante.

Quizás el mejor consejo que podría darle a una versión más joven de mí mismo es que está bien sentir miedo, la incertidumbre no es agradable, siempre se gana aún en la derrota.

Todos somos un pequeño universo en el mundo, y la vida es una sola así que vale la pena vivirla y disfrutarla.

En mi blog, escribo algunas ideas sobre diferentes temas que se me ocurren, les dejo el link Alejorpm.wordpress.com

Carpe Diem!”

In English:

“Being gay is not a choice, it is simply one that has been customarily considered “different” and accordingly discriminated against in human settings of different levels. This has led to the fact of those being gay having to go through a process of denial, not wanting to be different, because society rejects anything that goes against the social patterns established for centuries. The principles of humanity are centered on respect for every “human being”, the French Revolution was defending the principles of liberty, equality and fraternity, values and conditions today that are vague, ephemeral, malleable and manageable, the fact is that they are not negotiable, because rights are not negotiable.
 
For me in particular being gay means first freedom, my personal freedom to decide whom to love, to live my own life respecting differences and being responsible for the consequences of my actions. That freedom is in a positive sense, to see and be aware that my freedom ends where the other begins. Being Gay is for me to be myself, to respect my own values, because really one does not change for being gay, does not become no longer a son, brother, family, friend; it is not a personality disorder, nor is it a disease that can be cured, it is a sexual identity, no nuances.
 
Furthermore for me it also means being tolerant, and to fight for human ideals, because equality is actually a reality that coexistence and fraternity are the order of the day, we do not live in uncertainty, discrimination and intolerance . Being Gay and courage means to me, means love, means being happy.
 
My main challenge was to face myself, achieve the strength and accept it. Since then began a process in which I would begin to be seen “different” in society, however it did not cost me much. “Coming Out” marked a before and after, I had the fortune of family support, and it is just about being happy, it is the point and that was one of my biggest events.
 
I think that being Gay puts many things in perspective, we live in a society that has been used for centuries to a conservative lifestyle to the extent that promotes a series of patterns and social norms, and beyond that generates rejection. My biggest challenge has been struggling daily with diagrams and forms, it is easy to think that you have everything when you’re next to the person you love, however inequalities permeate these relationships and make them unstable, and weakened. That has been one of the main challenges trying to live a “normal life” in an “abnormal” world, formally one family under traditional concepts, building wealth on the basis of inequality before the law. These are constant, daily struggles, to go out with the uncertainty that no joint guarantees, is a huge challenge to feel that there are no guarantees.
 
I think we should not feel like a minority, I think we daily work to feel the same, to feel included, to the extent that we will be closing the gap of ignorance that exists regarding the issue of homosexuality, I believe that this measure should not advocate tolerance, we must appeal for respect.
 
I am the second son of three brothers, one way or another I have always been aware of my orientation, even as a child I felt I had different things. No offense to reinforce some stereotypes, but I never liked playing sports and I liked more cultural activities. I’ve always been very independent in regard to decisions of my life, including the sentimental. I think I always knew, but often I would deny it.
 
My adolescence was spent “normal”, I actually had some girlfriends and even fell in love. Entry at the university stage, I began to come into direct contact with gays, being in the “closet” and denying myself and my preference. I began to experiment, but the most important of these “experiments” is that I started to wonder if I was actually being myself, and how that affected all aspects of my life. I began to feel persecuted and family and socially depressed, confused and often thwarted.
 
As a process takes time, and I knew to a small extent “the gay world”, and it felt good to be part of something, but I was not ready, and remained in the shadows of the underground, hiding as if what I was doing was reprehensible. I was afraid of rejection, fear had me labeled.
 
At 23 (now I have 27 years), and without much reasoning as time was enough, I decided on “coming out”, I was building a life that I refused to take secretly and wanted to breathe this thing called freedom and finally be good about myself which is where it all starts. I had the support of my family and some of my friends, with exceptions, but overall the balance was very positive.
 
Having it done, unapologetically, has helped me significantly to value and I have also increased my confidence and have learned to believe in myself. That is trying to be the best version of yourself.
 
The abbreviations of LGTBI refer to a different space, all part of the “community” with their characters and nuances, where each group brings its authenticity. Accordingly this has generated collective perceptions and stereotypes that do not involve the bulk of the homosexual population.
 
I’m Venezuelan, but currently live in Santiago, Chile, and so far it has been a very good experience in many ways. The gay community in Venezuela is marked by machismo, and thus discrimination is extremely strong, even embedded in the collective imagination in a process of feminization imposed, and this has generated many stereotypes associated with the homosexual population. This feminization imposed is repeated in varying degrees in different societies, and concerns the attribution of female to male qualities of different sexual orientation.
 
This item has marked gay “community” over time, and it is a taboo to continue playing. It is a matter of ignorance, insecurity and lack of tolerance, to the extent that societies progress on these issues are becoming freer and more equal.
 
The difference between the two is remarkable, here in Santiago has been achieved coherence, a claim from the perspective of rights and equality. I consider it a society that despite its conserve nature, is under way to ensure sustained equality, at least with respect to the subject of extensive rights to people of different sexual orientation. In everyday terms it is a more tolerant, more respectful and increasingly tending to respect personal freedom society.
 
In Venezuela we still have a ways to go, archaic institutions and companies are building collapse. It is a constant struggle.

Perhaps the best advice I could give to a younger version of myself is that it’s okay to feel fear, uncertainty is not pleasant, one can always win even in defeat.
 
We are all a little universe in the world, and life is one so worth living and enjoy it.
 
In my blog, I write some ideas on different issues that come to mind, I’ll leave the link Alejorpm.wordpress. com

Carpe Diem!”

Stephane, Director, Paris, France

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

Stephane, in his own words: “Being gay is part of who I am but it’s just one part. It doesn’t define everything. Being an artist, being a French-Vietnamese: these are also part of who I am and therefore also define my personality. But nonetheless, the gay part is important and I’m happy with it.

I’m lucky enough to live in an accepting environment (family, friends, work) and in a big city, so I don’t really think about it very often. I don’t make such a big deal of it, at least at this stage of my life.

But if I’m lucky enough to be accepted here, I know it’s not the case everywhere. I’m very worried when I read reports on homophobia all over the world (including France). There is still a long way to go.

I think that for most people, one of the biggest challenges is to accept who you are and embrace it. Accept your differences whether it’s being gay in a mostly straight world, or whether it’s being Asian in a Western country. My challenge was to find my own balance. The challenge is perpetual but as I’m growing old, I learn to care less.

(With regards to coming out) It happened when I was a bit more than nineteen and still a student. I was living with my parents in the suburbs of Paris. At the time, I was already seeing my boyfriend and staying over at his place, in Paris. My mother was probably thinking that I was spending too much time in the city. More than what my studies required anyway. So she started to have doubts.

When she asked me, I told her the truth. She was extremely upset and for the next two weeks, she barely spoke to me. Surprisingly enough, my father was the one who tried to calm her down. As gays, we are often worry about our fathers’ reaction, but it turns out that, sometimes, fathers understand more, or faster. Go figure why. Anyway, after two weeks, one evening, I came home and found my mother unexpectedly in a good mood. And on top of it, she had prepared one of my favourite Vietnamese meals, one that takes time. In our culture, or at least in our family, we often express our feelings with food rather than words. And there, I could sense something had changed. Indeed, during that week-end, my mother told me that it occurred to her that she had to accept and love her children as they are. And that was it. It wasn’t that bad after all!

I’m not sure I’m an expert on (the gay community in Paris) since I don’t go out a lot and am not totally immersed in the gay community or connected to the LGBT organizations. I used to write for gay media when I was younger and I’m still interested in gay issues but I’m not sure I’m the best person to comment on the gay community. Today, my network of friends is a mix of gay, straight, young and old people from various worlds. That’s my « community » in a way.

(Advice I’d give my younger self) Don’t be afraid to be different. It’s much more fun and much more exciting, after all.”

Jun, Makeup Artist, Ho Chi Minh City, Vietnam

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong


Jun, in his own words: “Tôi không hỗ thẹn mình là gay, ngược lại tôi hạnh phúc khi nói rằng trời vẫn sinh chúng tôi ra để thế giới muôn màu hơn, vì nhiều lãnh vựt chúng tôi làm được nhưng chưa chắc các bạn làm được và các bạn làm được chúng ta cũng đã có người thành công.
Tôi sống thật với chính bản thân tôi, không vì 1 lý do nào đó để lừa dối tình cảm 1 người con gái, đó là điều tốt chưa chắc 1 số đàn ông làm được…. ^^

Thử thách lớn nhất là tôi phải đối mặt với ba mẹ khi công nhận tôi là gay lúc đó tôi 20t, chỉ biết diễn đạt bằng những lời mình cảm thấy là thuyết phục nhất..
—–“con xin lổi ba mẹ, không không lấy vợ và sinh cháu cho ba mẹ được đơn giản con không muốn tổn thương 1 người con gái nào đó, không đem lại hạnh phúc cho người ta thì đừng cố gắng bên nhau. con đặt trường hợp xấu nhất là cô không chịu được cú shock và chết vì biết chồng mình là gay, thì ai là người gieo mầm tội lỗi đó?”
Mẹ tôi khóc, ba tôi không nói câu gì vì giận. 1 thời gian dài 2 cha con nhiều tranh cãi và ông ấy đã nói câu tôi không bao giờ quên : “tôi sinh ra mày được thì tôi giết mày được”
Tôi hận bản thân mình và càng chứng minh rằng tôi như bao thằng con trai khác,, thể thao, học tập, cuộc sống hằng ngày ….. rất bình thường. vài năm sau tôi nhẹ cả người khi nghe câu nói đùa của mẹ : “con gái không kêu bạn giới thiệu thằng tây nào cho con đi” ^^
tôi không thuộc tuýp người năng động và chinh phục thế giới nên tôi chẳng có thành tựu lớn nào, chỉ biết đừng làm mẹ thêm buồn… ^^

cũng là lúc tôi cho ba mẹ và mọi người xung phải là 1 chứng bệnh là 1 thứ chạy theo hiện đại hay chỉ là 1 trò chơi như mọi người nghĩ. chúng tôi cũng có trái tim cũng yêu bằng chính trái tim đó như bao người. hiện tôi có 1 bạn trai đã quên nhau được 6 năm tuy chúng tôi không chung sống bên nhau được, tôi rất buồn vì điều đó nhưng biết như thế nào hơn khi số phận đã ngăn cách ta giữa 2 bờ đại dương. mọ

gia đình chúng tôi không phản đối nên càng cho chúng tôi động lực để chứng minh cho mọi người rằng gay không có gì là sai trái cả. càng tạo niềm tin về 1 ngày nào đó rằng chúng tôi sẽ vượt qua số phận mà được sống bên nhau

Tôi nghĩ cũng như cộng đồng Mỹ, ngày phát triển và được nhiều người chấp nhận và đồng cảm hơn. nhưng chưa thật sự có những hoạt động tô điểm cho cộng đồng.
Nhà nước VN cũng đã thảo luật về việc cho gay kết hôn.”

In English:

I am not ashamed to be a Gay, in the contrary I am very happy to say that God has given me a life in this world with a different aspect of this colorful universe. Because on many levels with regards to talents, we can do better than others, and some (gay men) are very successful.

I live for myself, there is no reason to fake my emotions to a girl, which is a good thing since others may do something like that.

The big challenge to me was when I had to come face to face with my parents to declare that I am gay, I was 20 years old. I tried to use simple words to convince them “Please forgive me, I am sorry, I can’t marry a girl, I can’t give you grand children. Simply, that I don’t want to hurt that girl, if I can’t bring happiness to her, then I should not live with her. I give you one example: it would be worse for her to find out that I am gay, it would be a shock which could lead to her dying, then who should we blame for causing such a tragedy?”

My mother cried, my father was silent because he was angry. It was a long time since my father and I always argued and quarreled, and he said to me one sentence that I have not forgotten, “I gave birth to you, and I can kill you, too”.

I felt sorry, and tried to prove that I am just like other boys: exercise, study hard, and live a normal life. A few years later, I felt relief to hear one of my mother’s jokes, “My girl, why don’t you call your friend to introduce you to a Western boy.”

I am not the type of person to conquer the world that’s why I don’t have any big success, but I only know how to make my mother less sorrowful.

It’s time for me to let my parents and others surrounding me know that it’s not a disease, or chasing a new style, or playing a game as people thought. We have a heart to love just like everyone else. At this present time, I have a boyfriend, we know each other for six years. Although, we can’t live together. I am sad about that, but what can I do when destiny has separated us between the two big oceans.

Our families do not object, so it’s our motive to demonstrate to every one that being gay is nothing wrong. It’s our hope that someday we can overcome our destiny and live together side by side.

I think that the community in the USA has more progress and many more people have been accepted and sympathetic than in Vietnam, in which there has not been much activities to contribute to our community. Although, Vietnamese government is discussing allowing us to get marriage.”