Monthly Archives: November 2014

Itallo, Business Admininstration, Brasilia, Brazil

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

Itallo, in his own words: “Ser gay para mim significa ser tolerante a diversidade, autêntico, lutador, independente, ter jogo cintura diante da ignorância da sociedade e acima de tudo ser um cidadão que merece respeito independentemente de sua orientação sexual.

O maior desafio que já tive foi morar sozinho em outro estado, pois sou do interior do Maranhão, município chamado de Pindaré-Mirim, que significa em tupi, língua indígena brasileira, peixe pequeno. Desta forma, sai da minha zona de conforto e vim morar sozinho em Brasília, capital do Brasil, sem parentes e amigos por perto, ou seja, foi bem difícil para mim no início, hábitos e costumes totalmente diferentes da minha terra natal.

Minha maior conquista foi em meio as dificuldades financeiras, consegui concluir minha graduação em Administração e atualmente trabalho na área.

Me assumi um pouco antes de me mudar para Brasília, aos 20 anos de idade, na verdade foi uma situação em que minha mãe me surpreendeu, no que diz respeito a reação. Dou ênfase a minha mãe, pois foi ela sozinha que me criou, sendo meu pai e minha mãe, uma mulher independente que sempre correu atrás daquilo que acreditava, uma mulher que admiro muito.

A comunidade gay em Brasília podemos dizer que possui certa liberdade, as ações da secretaria dos direitos humanos voltados para o meio LGBT é mais ativo, mesmo a sociedade apresentando ser preconceituosa quanto a pessoa gay e afins, possuímos certo privilégios/liberdade para nos expô e lutar pelos nossos direitos e respeitar entre nós mesmos os nossos deveres.

Independentemente de ser gay ou não, seja você mesmo acima de tudo e lute pelos seus sonhos, a vida em si não é fácil, e pior ela é muito curta, então, corra atrás, lute, para crescer na vida, ser independente, óbvio que nessa jornada terá que realizar alguns sacrifícios, mas todos nós alguma hora na vida sacrificamos algo para conseguir evoluir e crescer como pessoas e sermos satisfeitas com a vida que escolhemos, algo que acredito ser muito importante, então, acredite em você e se conheça, para poder assumir sua orientação com naturalidade e sabedoria, seja feliz!”

In English:

“Being gay for me means being tolerant to diversity, authentic, a fighter, independent, and above all to be a citizen who deserves respect regardless of their sexual orientation.
 
The biggest challenge I’ve ever had was living alone in another state, for I am from the interior of Maranhão, municipality called Pindaré-Mirim, which means in Tupi, Brazil’s indigenous language, small fish. Thus, out of my comfort zone I came to live alone in Brasilia, capital of Brazil, without family and friends around, i.e., it was hard for me at first, the habits and customs are totally different from my homeland.
 
My greatest achievement was in the midst of financial difficulties, being able to complete my degree in Business Administration and currently working in the area.
 
I (came out) a little before I moved to Brasilia, as a 20-year-old, and it was actually a situation where my mother surprised me, with regards to her reaction. I emphasize my mother because it was she alone who created me, was my father and my mother, an independent woman who always went after what she believed in, a woman I admire very much.

The gay community in Brasilia we can say has some freedom, the secretary of the actions of human rights facing the LGBT media is more active, even presenting society being prejudiced as a gay person and the like, we have certain privileges / freedom to expose us and fight for our rights and respect among ourselves and our duties.

(Advice I’d give my younger self) Whether you are gay or not, be yourself above all and fight for your dreams, life itself is not easy, and worse it is too short, so, chase, fight, to grow in life, be independent, this journey you will have to make some sacrifices, but all of us at some time in life sacrifice something to evolve and grow as people and be satisfied with the life we choose, something which I believe is very important, then, believe in yourself and know, in order to take his guidance and wisdom naturally, be happy!”

Mauricio, Film Maker, Buenos Aires, Argentina

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

Mauricio, in his own words: “I remember being just 11 or 12 years old and one night going to bed crying; I had spent the afternoon at one of my closest Friends house hanging out with him and some others Friends from school, at one point (I don’t remember why) one of them said I was weird and different because I liked boys, my other friends agreed but none of us really understood what that meant, all I knew was I was being set apart from the rest of my friends and it hurt. That night my mom asked what was wrong and called my dad into my room, I told them what had happened and how I did not understand why being different was wrong, I was so sad…

Without hesitating my dad said that there was nothing wrong with me and that of course I was different from everyone else, that that’s something we all have in common, differences. Then my mom asked me if I knew exactly what those kids were talking about, I said “I think they were saying I’m gay” and she said no one had the right to tell me what I am, and that if I actually was it was only a part of me to be proud of, like my brown eyes and my large ears. I slept like a baby that night.

I never came out, I just never felt like I had to tell anyone that I’m into guys and not girls, my friends and family know I’m gay because they asked and I said yes; at first I think I avoided confrontation fearing rejection, but happily that didn’t last long, the thing is I grew up surrounded by loving people, I know I’m extremely lucky because of this, and thanks to that I’m a proud young man, kind and confident and in the search of true happiness.

I’m not really in touch with the gay community in Buenos Aires, I try to be aware of what’s happening all the time but I keep my distance, because I respect it so much, I’m still trying to understand myself and when I feel ready I know I want to take an active part in it; years ago I decided I wouldn’t let my sexuality define who I am and I know that people fighting for our rights have been responsible for this being possible and I’m so thankful, but I guess the truth was, until a few years ago, I didn’t want to belong to anything, I just wanted to be free. When the night the marriage equality bill passed I decided I wanted to be there to see it, so I stayed up all night waiting for the results in la Plaza del Congresso, happy, knowing that history was about to happen and that many people were closer to equality in the country I decided to call home. That night I discovered that in order to be happily different everybody has to have chances in life.

I think the only thing I would advise my younger self would be to trust more in people, it took me a while to do it and when it happened I started living life at it’s fullest, closer to happiness surrounded by people whom I love and who love me.”

Adrián, Psychologist, Buenos Aires, Argentina

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong


Adrián, in his own words: “Being gay means to me to be who I am and not someone different, like a “Faked Me” or a “Multiple Me”. Before fully coming out of the closet, and depending upon the circumstances and social environments I was into.

Being gay also made me a better person and has brought to me a better quality of life, since I feel psychologically and physically healthier. I can say that once I came out as a gay man, respecting my own personal timing and those of the loved ones around me, I had the chance to integrate my life in such a positive way that I couldn’t imagine before.

During my childhood and teenage years at times I didn’t understand why I was different from others, I felt attracted to girls and also to…boys! Boys finally won the battle! I love women and they are close to me in my personal life but I choose boys to move forward 😉

Now I try to live my life in peace, since I feel this is the only life I have to live and I fully live it as a gay man.

As most of people, I could say that I faced many challenges in my life. I have succeeded in some of them and I couldn’t make it in some others.

To come out of the closet was among the most important challenges and successes in my life. To be self confident and to remain optimistic about what could come next in life were very important to me. To be honest to myself and to my beloved ones also contributed a lot to being a better person.

To reach a good and safe balance between my personal life, my social life, my work life and my public life has not been less important.

Although I was able to smoothly walk through my coming out process in my personal world, by realizing that I have been a second class citizen for most my life, as most of the LGBT folks around the world, I left my comfort zone and used the streets for something different than walking around. I joined the LGBT pride parades in the cities where I have lived and I live.

Also, I decided to make my contribution to the LGBT community by joining the most important LGBT organization in Argentina: the Argentinean LGBT Federation.

Finally, the fact of being conscious that I want to have my own family, my own LGBT family, makes facing the most challenging and pending “issue” in my life….Hope I can make it someday soon!

I came out in 1994, at the age of 26. Of course, I was aware about a non-strictly-straight sexual orientation before that. At least, I was aware I felt attracted to both men and women. As a kid, I had dreams in which a TV show hero protected me and I felt something more than protection in an affectionate and non-sexual way. But I had a girlfriend with whom I played girly games at the school. Apart from that, I loved and I love cars! As a teenager, things were different…wet dreams came together with “disturbing” images of myself kissing one of my male friends (the cutest one, of course! 😉 ).

Real life wasn’t easy. My confusion left my sexual life stuck until I took the bull by the horns. I met a beautiful girl at the University, felt in love with her and before moving into the sex part, I told her about my not-clearly-defined sexual orientation. That was the first stage of my coming out process. She was OK with it and we had a two-year relationship, with sex and all the stuff included…But the men-oriented-part of me was still there pushing to move further and come out!…So my girlfriend and I broke up, we stayed close and, in a possible way, together. We still love each other and we’re currently friends and family in a way. We stay in contact on a weekly basis since those early years.

Then, coming back to those funny years, one day I met a handsome thirteen-year-older-than-me and openly gay man, in a work-related situation. I had such a crush on him that I couldn’t calm my heart and soul (and my body!) until we had our first date. After that date, my coming out was fully complete! Tested and double checked: I was gay! He was the second man I loved in my life (the first was my dad!). We were into a sort of relationship for seven years.

Regarding my parents, since I had had a quite transparent life for them, I managed the situation to introduce my boyfriend to them when they began asking about “my new older friend” that they have never ever heard a word about before…Once they met him, I could make clear to them that I stayed at his place every weekend and some nights during the week. After my mom passed away, my family and I started to spend Christmas with my boyfriend’s friends and family.

In between, these two important relationships, a back and forth moment took place in my life and I started dating a new girl…Can you believe it?? What was I thinking?? And my ex-girl friend discovered the situation: the three of us hazardously met at the entrance of the building I live in with my parents…. My ex-girlfriend was visiting my family and my-then-new girlfriend was walking me home…They both began yelling at me and I thought to my self: how did I end up here?? I’m gay!! Stop this! But these thoughts stayed in my mind and I just managed the situation to calm everybody down.

This is my coming out story.

The gay community in Buenos Aires is very active and quite visible. Buenos Aires, the city where I was born and raised, was always cosmopolitan and open to different ways of life. Historically, it has been a city of cultural reference in arts and culture in South America. And this is a reflection of how people are.

Life here is quite similar to some other big cosmopolitan cities, at least from the western world, based on my experience. I had the chance to live New York, in Manhattan, in Madrid, in Barcelona and traveled quite a lot, particularly around Europe. Differences come out regarding cultural believes and practices, countries’ economical development and equal legislation for LGBT people.

Argentina has made a tremendous advance in terms of LGBT human rights after year 2010, with the fully-equal marriage law, and the 2012 gender identity law, among others. However, the equal legislation is just the starting point to enjoy a full citizenship status, here and everywhere. We still need to eliminate not few discriminatory barriers and practices in Buenos Aires and Argentina. We need both the equality in the law and the equality in the real life to be fully integrated as a society.

Before these changes in the law took place, being gay in Buenos Aires was a very good experience to me. This city has been traditionally open to diversity, although not free from discrimination or acts of violence. In my personal life I did not face any harmful situation because of being gay. I have freedom to express myself, to openly go to gay bars or discos, meet other guys, and to integrate my social circles when it was possible or convenient. However, it is important to say that being gay is different depending upon where in Argentina one lives or is raised. It is not the same Buenos Aires than the suburbs, or the countryside or the small cities along Argentina. Likewise, it is not the same being gay than being lesbian, bisexual or transgender. Opportunities, chances, discrimination, visibility, among others, are not the same.

I would say to my younger self: no matter how you are, who you feel attracted to or the way you express yourself, I love you just the way you are, the way you were and the way you will be. To be a better person and to love and accept the other persons you have to firstly love and accept yourself. And never lose your self-confidence: you are your best ally to allay your soul, your mind and your heart!”