Monthly Archives: January 2013

Joseph, Creative Director, San Francisco

photo by Kevin Truong

Joseph, in his own words: “Being gay is my sexual identity. It’s one part of my life. I proudly identify with it but it’s not the only part of my identity. I like to think that in the 21st century that gay men are much more than their sexual identity. We are an integral part of our society. We are a part of the fabric which elevates all our experiences.

My challenges as a gay man has been with our politics. We do not yet have equal rights and this is disconcerting since we live in a “democracy”.

The gay community in San Francisco has been a beacon for acceptance. I moved to San Francisco 3 days after Harvey Milk was killed. Since then there has been an enormous change in the city politics which has made it feel as though we are equal on all levels. I’m proud of how the city has embraced the gay population and the diversity of it.

I came out soon after moving to California. When I returned to my home in Michigan they did not understand what that meant, because of the times, but they let me know that I would always be part of the family. This was a revelation of their true love for me. I love them so much for this because they did not have the social support to make this leap. It was unconditional love.”

Sam, Founder, New York City

photo by Kevin Truong

Sam, in his own words: “Outside of the literal definition of what being gay means, I’m sure every gay man or woman operationally defines it according to their own unique experiences. For me, being gay means liberation & honesty. Like many others, prior to coming out I had decided that life would be easier if I pretended to be straight. However, it was a completely miserable and lonely existence. Once I mustered the courage to ‘come out’ life was one hundred times better. It was an emancipation. I was free to be authentic and honest with the people that I love and care deeply about. Every meaningful friendship or acquaintance I’ve acquired since coming out has been so much stronger than the ones I made before, because now I am honest with myself and the people around me.

The biggest challenge I face is when my idealism is confronted with the current reality in the world. I dream of world where I can go anywhere and hold my partners hand, and if while doing so we entered the scope of vision of strangers, it would be as mundane and commonplace as the dog poop on the sidewalks on the Upper West Side. Many times, I go about life thinking that people no longer find gay people peculiar, until I walk the streets in Brooklyn, The Bronx, and in some areas of uptown Manhattan, and quickly become reminded by the glares that I could still get my ass whooped….still…in 2013. I want to live in a world where I can hold my partners hand without being afraid.

The gay community in New York is pretty vibrant and diverse. There’s lots to do and with a ton of great people. Although, at times, I think the community could do more to appreciate the strength of the diversity it possesses.

I came out to my family via e-mail at 3 o’clock in the morning. The subject line read: I’M GAY!!!. I have 13 siblings and being born & raised in the way of the Lord in Detroit, Michigan, you can probably imagine how much fun it was for me once my family started checking their emails later that morning 🙂

I have an amazing family that loves and supports everything I do. Although my worldview is different from theirs, and they are clear about what they believe God says about homosexuality, they’ve become LGBT allies and will be at my gay wedding. They’ll undoubtedly be the ones dancing barefoot on the dance floor. I love them. I am lucky. We’ve all grown a lot as a result of my coming out. I know that many other gay men and women often face rejection from their families, I’ve had an opposite experience.”

Johnny, Artist/Philosopher/Proto Assistant, New York City

photo by Kevin Truong

Johnny, in his own words: “Looking back I find that I had more difficulty coming to terms with my humanity then my sexuality. My sexuality was relatively meaningless in the larger picture. For me, figuring out my place in the world, in the universe and existence as a whole took precedence over my attraction to another person. Naturally there was attraction, but it was not something I understood completely or tried to understand at an early age. my feelings were my feelings and they hadnt been influenced by anything other then my innermost self and though I was perhaps too young to comprehend that, I did on some spiritual level, as I suspect all living things do. It was intuitive and I didnt give it much thought. I knew I was different then my peers though, different than other boys, mainly from what I was perceiving from the world, from others. In fact it was more external pressure to address my orientation then an internal need or desire.

I’ve always been somewhat of a private person by nature, blame it on my Cancerian roots. I never felt the need to broadcast my sexual feelings, after all are my sexual encounters/fantasies anyone elses concern other then my own? I wasnt hiding, but I never heard ‘straight’ folk letting everyone know their sexual preferences or ever having the need to, but it seemed that being gay was something that others had to know about, was something period, like some kind of warning. I never thought I was a danger to anything. I approached my budding sexuality with caution because there was something powerful and even divine about it. It was like some powerful magic that had to be handled with care and so it was only once I was ready to.

There are times when life has seemed scary and too much to bear, but unto myself, I realized that my experience in the world was rarified . And I’ve always been attracted to the rare and exotic things in life. If nothing else, ‘liking guys’ has made for a richer experience of my life, I can appreciate, openly, a greater number of beautiful things for instance, and that’s just one, of an infinite number of attributes that make me unique. But thats the case with every other living thing in the universe. And in that I realized that we, as in all of us, as in everything… are one in the same.”

THE GAY MEN PROJECT

The visual catalog of gay and queer men around the world.

Monthly Archives: January 2013

Joseph, Creative Director, San Francisco

Sam, Founder, New York City

Johnny, Artist/Philosopher/Proto Assistant, New York City