My biggest challenge was coming out to my family. My coming out was relatively late, and not until I was in grad school, about 24 years old. Telling my mother was a very difficult experience and she didn’t take it well. In spite of her disappointment and some hurtful things said, we are still very close. She took care of telling my immediate family, including my dad. Over the next few years, we all struggled to come to an understanding of why and how and what this meant. That was more difficult because we didn’t live close and only visited a few times each year.

The gay community in New York has many different facets. If I had to describe it using one word, it would be ‘diverse’. In New York, I don’t necessarily align with one particular facet of the gay community. My immediate social group in NYC is mainly gay men, but my network extends further beyond. We aren’t friends because we are gay, we are friends because of more commonality. Outside of my closest friends, I’m more aligned with a community of choral musicians than anything. One of the ways I share that passion is through singing with choirs. I sing in a church choir that accepts gay people and where it isn’t an issue. I also co-direct a new choir called Chamelonic where our passion is to engage listeners in a diverse and innovative musical experience. One way we achieve that is by having a diverse group of singers, some of whom are gay.