Monthly Archives: August 2012

Michael, Psychiatrist, San Francisco

photo by Kevin Truong

Michael, in his own words: “Being gay means having a love and appreciation for the same sex in the way that other people may have a love and appreciation for the opposite sex. It’s natural and human, and it’s beautiful. It took me a long time to realize this truth. Growing up, I managed to internalize
a lot of homophobia that made it hard for me to be myself around others. I did not come out to anybody while I was in school, and I closed myself off to a lot of experiences, including loving ones. I delayed gratification in one part of my life to pursue success in other parts.

I came to San Francisco hoping that just the act of moving to a gay-friendly city would make changes in my life. I realized that it would take a lot more than that. I slowly but surely started coming
out to friends and family. None of my fears became reality. Instead, I found my myself growing in positive ways and being embraced by others in ways I had never imagined. San Francisco has a culture of acceptance that I haven’t seen in many other places. Being gay here does not make you different. Instead it makes you a member of a community that is still a part of humanity.”

Spencer, Health Clinic Volunteer and VP of Operations, San Francisco

photo by Kevin Truong

Spencer, in his own words: “I grew up as a gay, Japanese-American, devout Mormon in Boise, Idaho. Convinced that I would overcome my sexuality by throwing myself into a diligent Mormon life, I locked myself in the proverbial closet and promptly ingested the key. This meant not just complete immersion into the Mormon Church, but to stand out from among even the most devout practioners. Wasn’t I told that salvation would be mine if I did everything right? And for all intents and purposes, my upbringing in the Mormon community was idyllic: soccer and baseball with my Mormon brothers; shoveling snow for the elderly on winter morning with my Mormon leaders; I was an Eagle Scout (whose favorite Merit Badge was kayaking), a proud and decorated member of Troop 83.

It is October 1997, and I am standing at the Salt Lake City International airport waving goodbye to my family. My crisply folded itinerary tells me that I will be landing at Hiroshima Airport in fifteen hours. My two-year Mormon mission has begun. Elder Jared is Caucasian, and at twenty, only one year older than myself. He is the first of seven mission partners that I will encounter over the next twenty-four months. These two years spent in Japan speed by, faster than I used to slurp down long strands of ramen at the noodle shops, elbow-to-elbow with well-dress Japanese business men.

My attendance at Brigham Young University yielded the same results: teeming with fresh-faced Mormons, the community came built-in. My junior year is when my communities began to overlap. After much consideration and prayer, I felt strongly that for me to be happy in life, I had to allow myself to love freely, and that meant disavowing from Mormon beliefs and beginning the slow process of accepting myself as gay.

San Francisco has been my home for the last nine years. This is my community. I’m an avid sportsman; completed my first triathlon in 2010, the Escape From Alcatraz. Participated in an Urbanathlon in 2011, finished 47th out of 1,161.”

Leonard, Visual Merchandiser/Designer/Creative, San Francisco

photo by Kevin Truong

Leonard, in his own words: For me, to be gay might mean something a little different than most. I was born and raised in the Bahamas, which is uber conservative, and being gay is not generally acceptable…though I always knew I was. This of course was very difficult, but in many ways I am grateful for my upbringing and became a much stronger individual because of it. I learned that I do not have to do what everyone else is doing, nor am I supposed to.

After growing up in Nassau, moving to San Francisco fascinated me because I always thought how amazing it would be to see the rainbow of gays whom I imagined to be here. Of course, some actual “individual” gays do exist, but it seems like most gays have assimilated to a stereotypical “gay mold” in an effort to be accepted as some type of normal. That may be fine for those who want to be accepted by everyone, but I would rather be accepted on my own terms than anyone else’s. Lucky for me, all my dearest friends (I think) feel the same way!

THE GAY MEN PROJECT

The visual catalog of gay and queer men around the world.

Monthly Archives: August 2012

Michael, Psychiatrist, San Francisco

Spencer, Health Clinic Volunteer and VP of Operations, San Francisco

Leonard, Visual Merchandiser/Designer/Creative, San Francisco