Tag Archives: washington D.C.

Kevin, Managing Director, Washington D.C.

photo by Kevin Truong

Kevin, in his own words: “For me, the heart doesn’t know the difference in race, sexuality, age, socioeconomic status, religion or really anything else for that matter; the heart only knows how I feel when I am in love. That love starts with loving yourself and every gay man has to go through the process of loving himself in a world where that love is not universally reciprocated. Coming out is a daunting, terrifying process but it is a liberation as well. Like a butterfly emerging from a chrysalis, coming out as a gay man changes everything and you are finally able to truly be whole and know that you are living a life of honesty and truth after spending so much time “hidden”. It eventually becomes important to recognize that your sexuality is important, but it is a facet of who you are as a person and all the pieces have to be nurtured to create a complete, happy person but that path is walked by each person in their own way, with their own uniqueness and at their own pace. My own path has had it’s ups and downs, but I am stronger and more confident having walked it than had I remained “closeted”. I wish for each gay man to find his inner strength and walk that path towards loving self-acceptance.

I have been so lucky to find a wonderful community of friends in DC that have become my family in so many ways. These beautiful, loving, caring, brilliant men have supported and bolstered me and each other to be confident and strong as gay men. When I moved to DC, I made that decision because I wanted to be in a city that had a strong community and I wanted to be a part of that community. I can say that the gay men in DC are a wondrous mix of diversity from all over the globe and that creates a really amazing community. The gay men here have a tremendous passion to positively affect change and there is a level of activism that is un-paralleled in many other places and that energy creates a sense of accomplishment and pride in who we are and how we are trying to lead change to strengthen our community.

Be true to yourself and never compromise on your needs and eventually, all will be as it should be…”

Twaun, Counsel, Washington D.C.

photo by Kevin Truong

Twaun, in his own words: “I came out to my parents early in 2011. I was 26 years old and four years in to only the second serious relationship I’ve had in my adult life; second to the years I spent with the mother of my, now, 7-year-old daughter. When I came out to my parents, I don’t recall feeling a great deal of anxiety or pressure to do so. I had just returned home, a day or so earlier, from a funeral I attended in Jackson, MS. In a tragic turn of events, my daughter’s older sister lost her life in a horrific murder-suicide. The event profoundly affected my family and I think we were all struggling to come to terms with how something like this could happen. The days after were pretty quiet though on this particular one, I couldn’t help but think about my daughter and the fragility of life. Then the phone rang; it was my father. He expressed concerns that he and my mother shared about what they perceived as my dejected demeanor, our strained relationship, and their general lack of knowledge about my life in Washington, DC. He said that “if anything ever happened” to me that they would be completely “in the dark” and not know what to tell anyone about where I spent time, what I did for leisure, or who comprised my inner circle and professional network. In that moment, I actually remember looking out the window of the apartment I shared with my male partner and very calmly decided that it was time to discuss my sexual orientation with both of my parents. My partner and I were considering a life together, and in my mind, it was important for my family to know that and hopefully establish a relationship with him. Although my father didn’t anticipate that I — his only son — was about to tell him and my mother I was gay, his general reasoning resonated with me and I believed he was right – my parents deserved to know for both our sakes. They deserved to know fully who I was so that we could begin what I knew would be the difficult task of rebuilding our relationship. And although I had convinced myself that I didn’t need to tell them, I realized that to be emotionally mature, I needed to be straightforward. I didn’t have anything to be ashamed of and in not telling them, I was implicitly conceding that my sexuality was a source of shame.

At first, my parents took the news calmly. They were jilted but said that they still loved me. Of course, I never believed that my parents would ever abandon or disown me. As it had been with so many other issues, our dynamic on difficult situations was always a battle of wills. Since that day, they have and continue to go through different stages of grief. It is a type of grieving process when parents have to surrender their vision of the life they thought their child would have and accept the reality of the adult in front of them. In the initial conversation, I had to assure them that my sexual orientation did not really define or dictate my entire existence and that I was still the person they’ve always known. I’m very hardworking, passionate, and dedicated to public service. I’m a loving father. I’m a loyal friend. I’m my own man, trying the very best I can to build the best life on a solid foundation. I told them that I was not a wild caricature of a gay man they may have seen on television or encountered in life. I had to discuss with them the varying ranges of sexual expression and identity. I told them that I did not have HIV, that I was not promiscuous, and that I still, continue to “just say no” (being the Reagan-era child of the 80s D.A.R.E. Program).

My relationship with my parents continues to be a work in progress. But I think this is common, especially for young gay men. You endure difficult times, but it is in those trials that your relationship can be strengthened and evolve. As much as we drive each other crazy at times, we can’t help but love one another – that is our legacy and tradition.

As it turns out, my relationship, my first with a man and one of the reasons I initially wanted to come out to my parents, ended last year. While the circumstances surrounding the situation were deeply painful, I’ve concluded that it was really the necessary ending to what has been the full arc of my twenties. Today, I’m 29 and I’ve never felt more comfortable in my own skin. I am 100 percent present in my existence. I know what I want and I know what I have to contribute. And most importantly, I honor my worth and trust myself more than ever before. The last 10 years taught me how to be serious about “who I am,” and it changed how I perceived others. I’m simply “me,” authentic in my truth and honoring the 10 commitments I made to myself on my birthday last April (in no particular order):

1. Live life on your own terms, do not move in reverse, stay hopeful
2. Trust your instincts, trust yourself, and never settle
3. Do not fear love, vulnerability is the greatest act of courage
4. Know your worth, respect your value
5. Take vacations, travel more
6. Continue to follow your dreams, they led you here
7. Pay it forward, be a mentor
8. Mind your associations, you become the company you keep
9. You are a good father, don’t question it
10. I’m keeping this one to myself J

Gay men experience so much in life. And oftentimes, those experiences are further shaped by societal attitudes about race and gender. I believe many gay men around the world endure a type of tragedy and hardship, but we also experience a certain kind of beauty and love. And I think, when we set aside the ways in which we divide ourselves, especially as LGBTs, we can recognize this beauty in one another – a shared and common existence. For me, being gay is about living life on my own terms and “coming out” was the conduit to this reality. I fully accept and love myself, feel great about my relationships and am ready to embrace all of life’s possibilities.”

A Note from Eddie and Mehl, in Washington D.C…

“We are Mehl and Eddie and we met on 04/04/04 playing competitive volleyball in Houston, Texas and we legally married on October 2010 in Washington, D.C., where we live now with our two dogs Calvin and Oscar. Mehl is a Spanish Professor at the university level and Eddie is a Senior Sales Account Executive (for the Latin America market) for a software company.

We live a vibrant and active life – often on the go, but we do find time to explore all the wonders of our neighborhood and the greater Washington area. There is plenty to do where we live, including going to several parks, picnic grounds, taking our dogs to dog parks, biking on Rock Creek Park’s trails, visiting farmers markets, attending music festivals, eating at lots of restaurants, and going to all the museums (most of them are free) and the National Zoo. We love outdoor time, movies, music, cultural and artistic events, performances, sports, and a dazzling variety of cafes and restaurants.

After almost 3 years of marriage, we are pursuing adoption of a new born. Eddie and Mehl will be able to offer a happy and harmonious home for a baby or twins, a place where children can grow and flourish with security and unconditional love. For us the biggest adventure we can take is to live the life of our dreams…and that means to expand our own family. We promise our future kids they will get amazing opportunities in their lifetime.

FOR MEHL: Being gay is just one facet of my person. It does have a huge impact on how I see the world, but it does not determine everything that I think or do. Being gay now is much easier compared to when I was growing up, and I thank all those who have come before me and fought the civil rights battles to make all of us more accepted by society.

FOR EDDIE: Gay is just one other aspect of my persona. It’s like saying that I am a tall, Peruvian- American and educated man. Honestly, we are lucky to be able to be ourselves. We are just gay and it helps a lot as well to live on the East Coast where it is more progressive, more cosmopolitan and we are able to express ourselves and being recognized as a married couple under federal law and DC law. It’s a great feeling!

FOR MEHL: As a gay person, I am constantly having to challenge the sometimes very skewed stereotypes that many straight people have of LGBT people. This includes the professional arena, where otherwise highly educated people think and say things that flabbergast me because of their ignorance. Our challenge as gay people is not to walk away and resent these people, but to show them that we are just humans like them and we are complex and deserving of equitable treatment by them.

FOR EDDIE: For us right now, we are hoping to adopt and we are very excited to become parents. We want for our future kid to become a citizen of the world and be able to learn languages, play sports, travel the world with us, teach him to love and be considerate of the environment, be tolerant and develop his natural potential to the max. You may find more about our story onwww.facebook.com/MyTwoFathers and www.mytwofathers.org.

FOR MEHL: The out gay community tends to socialize in cliques. A person new to the city has to be proactive and outgoing to make friends. The community is fairly small, consisting mostly of professional Caucasian men.

FOR EDDIE: Gay DC is a very small and vibrant and diverse community. We love it here. We moved here from TX 7 years ago and we have met tons of people (acquaintances) but we are very lucky to have very special and close friends that we can call in the middle of the night and know that they will be there for us, and likewise. The census reveals that 10% of DC is gay, so we are very well represented.

FOR MEHL: I came out when I was 24 when I realized that being with a woman was a lie. I told my parents, who had a bit of difficulty with it but who, nevertheless, loved me unconditionally. Because I had a brother who was gay, my coming out process to my family was relatively easy.

FOR EDDIE: I came out when I was 26 and it was not that easy. I faced challenges with family members but most of my friends were cool with it and it was more the idea of rejection in my head. I still have some family members that don’t completely accept my relationship with Mehl and even less the idea that we want to expand our family through open adoption. I respect their comments and way of thinking but I pray one day that they will come around and learn that LOVE is LOVE, no matter the sex of the couple.”

Peace,

Mehl and Eddie

photo provided by Eddie and Mehl

THE GAY MEN PROJECT

The visual catalog of gay and queer men around the world.

Tag Archives: washington D.C.

Kevin, Managing Director, Washington D.C.

Twaun, Counsel, Washington D.C.

A Note from Eddie and Mehl, in Washington D.C…