Tag Archives: the gay men project

A Note from Eddie and Mehl, in Washington D.C…

“We are Mehl and Eddie and we met on 04/04/04 playing competitive volleyball in Houston, Texas and we legally married on October 2010 in Washington, D.C., where we live now with our two dogs Calvin and Oscar. Mehl is a Spanish Professor at the university level and Eddie is a Senior Sales Account Executive (for the Latin America market) for a software company.

We live a vibrant and active life – often on the go, but we do find time to explore all the wonders of our neighborhood and the greater Washington area. There is plenty to do where we live, including going to several parks, picnic grounds, taking our dogs to dog parks, biking on Rock Creek Park’s trails, visiting farmers markets, attending music festivals, eating at lots of restaurants, and going to all the museums (most of them are free) and the National Zoo. We love outdoor time, movies, music, cultural and artistic events, performances, sports, and a dazzling variety of cafes and restaurants.

After almost 3 years of marriage, we are pursuing adoption of a new born. Eddie and Mehl will be able to offer a happy and harmonious home for a baby or twins, a place where children can grow and flourish with security and unconditional love. For us the biggest adventure we can take is to live the life of our dreams…and that means to expand our own family. We promise our future kids they will get amazing opportunities in their lifetime.

FOR MEHL: Being gay is just one facet of my person. It does have a huge impact on how I see the world, but it does not determine everything that I think or do. Being gay now is much easier compared to when I was growing up, and I thank all those who have come before me and fought the civil rights battles to make all of us more accepted by society.

FOR EDDIE: Gay is just one other aspect of my persona. It’s like saying that I am a tall, Peruvian- American and educated man. Honestly, we are lucky to be able to be ourselves. We are just gay and it helps a lot as well to live on the East Coast where it is more progressive, more cosmopolitan and we are able to express ourselves and being recognized as a married couple under federal law and DC law. It’s a great feeling!

FOR MEHL: As a gay person, I am constantly having to challenge the sometimes very skewed stereotypes that many straight people have of LGBT people. This includes the professional arena, where otherwise highly educated people think and say things that flabbergast me because of their ignorance. Our challenge as gay people is not to walk away and resent these people, but to show them that we are just humans like them and we are complex and deserving of equitable treatment by them.

FOR EDDIE: For us right now, we are hoping to adopt and we are very excited to become parents. We want for our future kid to become a citizen of the world and be able to learn languages, play sports, travel the world with us, teach him to love and be considerate of the environment, be tolerant and develop his natural potential to the max. You may find more about our story onwww.facebook.com/MyTwoFathers and www.mytwofathers.org.

FOR MEHL: The out gay community tends to socialize in cliques. A person new to the city has to be proactive and outgoing to make friends. The community is fairly small, consisting mostly of professional Caucasian men.

FOR EDDIE: Gay DC is a very small and vibrant and diverse community. We love it here. We moved here from TX 7 years ago and we have met tons of people (acquaintances) but we are very lucky to have very special and close friends that we can call in the middle of the night and know that they will be there for us, and likewise. The census reveals that 10% of DC is gay, so we are very well represented.

FOR MEHL: I came out when I was 24 when I realized that being with a woman was a lie. I told my parents, who had a bit of difficulty with it but who, nevertheless, loved me unconditionally. Because I had a brother who was gay, my coming out process to my family was relatively easy.

FOR EDDIE: I came out when I was 26 and it was not that easy. I faced challenges with family members but most of my friends were cool with it and it was more the idea of rejection in my head. I still have some family members that don’t completely accept my relationship with Mehl and even less the idea that we want to expand our family through open adoption. I respect their comments and way of thinking but I pray one day that they will come around and learn that LOVE is LOVE, no matter the sex of the couple.”

Peace,

Mehl and Eddie

photo provided by Eddie and Mehl

William, Manager, Washington D.C.

photo by Kevin Truong

William, in his own words: “Being gay is a lifestyle. For me it encompasses my entire being, my soul, my spirit, my emotions, my well being. It’s more than just a physical attraction to the same sex, it gives me an identity that is priceless. When I was much younger I always prayed for the gay to go away, and looking back I’m so glad it never worked. I’m not really sure how my life would be different if I weren’t gay. Who my friends would have been, where my career has taken me, and where would I be living.

Growing up I had challenges just from being bi-racial. Folks always “assumed” I was gay when I was younger, however I always denied it. Being in the South having a white mother who raised 3 brown children was probably the toughest challenge b/c of the looks, and comments we’d get when we would go out in public. My best triumph in my life was when I saw my mom running out of my school saying “You did it, You did it”, “My son is going to college”. Being the first one in my family to go to college will forever be the biggest triumph in my life.

This community here in DC is a unique, ever changing and exciting community. Well let me rephrase my community here in DC is that way haha! There are so many communities here that every person can find their group. That’s what I did, my community is the kickball community/17th street community. My guys are humorous, smart, attractive, caring, athletic, kind. The list goes on and on. We have our ups, we have our downs, but we have been and will always be there for each other if one falls. Being able to call one of my boys up with an issue, or a shoulder to cry on is priceless. This city in general can be overwhelming and if you don’t have that support network you may seem lost. I just love the fact that if any of us are having a rough day we can call each other up, get a glass (or 3) of Chardonnay and let it all go.

The first person I told I was gay was my Aunt at the age of 14. I then told my sister at 15. The last person I told, which is what I feel is my “true” coming out story was my mom. 1 day before leaving for UNC-Wilmington I sat her down and told her I needed to tell her something. I began to explain my feelings and how I knew I was gay and that I wasn’t confused, lost, etc. She looked at me, tears in her eyes and she left. She went to her best friends house had a glass of wine and came home. By that point I was a mess, I was in tears, angry that I made her sad and upset that I didn’t notice her come in. She grabbed me and gave me the biggest hug and said “You are my son, and I love you, no matter who you love I will always be here for you”. Those words hit like a brick b/c I have seen my friends not be so lucky with their families and coming out. She then looked at me and said “Why was she the last to know”. I told her that I was afraid she wouldn’t love me anymore and that she’d kick me out of the house. She just laughed and from that moment we’ve been like best friends.

You know Cheers? Well JRs on 17th St is my Cheers. When I first moved to DC in 2008 I stumbled upon this place and immediately was welcomed with 2 playing cards. These were clear playing cards and the bartender was like these will get you free drinks cutie. I got my first round and sat in the corner by myself and just smiled and looked around and took it all in. JRs has been my go to spot, my safe haven, my beginning. This place has given me more than it could ever know, and I’d love to thank Dave for always thinking of me when it comes to new, fun and exciting things that have continued to build the community I am apart of here in DC.

If you want to know more about William just go to a Stonewall Kickball game and ask where can I get a popping fan: “William has one I’m sure”. Where can I find glitter: “William probably has some”. Who is that yelling, and reading a queen like a kindergarten text book: “Yep that’s William, hahah”. I try to live a fun, caring, authentic life and will always tell it how it is.”

Bob, Chief Executive Officer, Washington D.C.

photo by Kevin Truong

Bob, in his own words: “Being gay means never having to say you’re sorry. Oops, that’s what Eric Segal wrote in “Love Story.” Never mind.

Being gay for me has meant having a special and very close community of like souls, both men and women who often have been outsiders, but never let themselves feel they are victims. It has opened up experiences, closeness, choices and relationships I would have otherwise missed. Ultimately, I never felt being heterosexual would assure me of any privilege or choices I do not have already.

I am keenly aware of all forms of stigma, discrimination and unfair laws that separate gay people and couples from others – but that has given many of us a purpose, by trying to dismantle, battle and end those barriers.

When I was much younger, being gay also meant finding someone to fall in love with. After nearly 20 years together now, I am more sure than ever that I am in love more every day with the man I’m with and the man I plan to marry too. I love being gay, and would never consider even slight longing to be anything else.

I’ve been active in gay civil rights most of my adult life. Two decades ago, I opened one of America’s first communications firms to help shape gay-friendly practices and policies in corporate America. I’ve tried hard to be a bridge-builder who sees opportunity and benefit when LGBT people are recognized, respected and reckoned with – and with the aim to achieve our equal measure of rights and responsibilities.

(The gay community in D.C. is) Hard to define or to single out, of course. Most people seem to come to Washington later in life, for school or to pursue career goals. I was born here, and Washington DC always has been my community – or a mix of communities. We tend to be more fixated on politics of course, and more global with a very transient and international bent too.

You might say we were once a small southern town with a lot of pretensions to be a more sophisticated world capital. The men and women who live and work here, gay and straight, are ambitious, smart, and probably not so fashion-forward as other cities or in other world capitals. We tend to work long hours, but also have a love of celebration, travel, good food and good sports.

Coming out is a lifetime of steps. I first began poking my head out with friends and family members in my early and mid 20s after leaving college. While I worked at the U.S. State Department immediately after graduation, and later in the U.S. Senate, being completely open did not seem an option at the time.

Simply put, many of us remained reticent or reserved about sharing our sexual orientation until we knew and trusted someone – since there were clearly barriers and attitudes that stood in the way of advancement and career choices. Nonetheless, whenever I told others, I never even once regretted it. I always felt the burden was lifted, even so slightly, and it gave others the chance to be more honest and open too – whether gay or straight. It always has improved the quality of my friendships and associations since I never found being gay stood in the way of connecting with others and forming lasting ties.”