Tag Archives: the gay men project

Eric, Clarinetist, New York City

photo by Kevin Truong

Eric, in his own words: “In my study of music, I struggle to rid myself of a lifetime of fear and constructions in order to build a real connection with others. In the same way, I feel like all people, no matter what identity, struggle to break down these same walls in an effort to be themselves.

I struggle with societies definitions of masculinity and of homosexuality. After I came out, I didn’t want to identify with any definition. Participating in this project is special to me because for the first time, I feel like I am contributing to the larger gay experience and connecting to a community by simply being myself.

My career has given me the opportunity to travel and make music in many parts of the world. I feel thankful to be able to live here, freely, as myself. Expressing myself the way that I need to, striving to live the way I want to and being able to love who I want to.

I grew up a Mennonite in central Pennsylvania. My 86 year old grandmother is a conservative Mennonite and grew up immersed in dogmatic Christian theology. When she found out I was gay, it was difficult, but our relationship has come a long way since. She voted for the first time in her life, for Obama, in part for her change of heart on gay rights issues. The love of my family astounds me. Even when they don’t agree or understand where I am coming from, everyone is open to conversation in an effort to reach common ground. This is a beautiful thing.

A favorite quote of mine:

“In a word, we must create our own essence; it is in throwing ourselves into the world, in suffering with it, that – little by little – we define ourselves.”
– Satre”

Claudio, Market Analyst, São Paulo

photo by Kevin Truong

Claudio, in his own words: “I’m writing a new chapter in my life. The pages to come are about learning to leave broken dream behind. These pages may seem painful, bitter and harsh, however it’s just the author’s process to find, among the broken sharp pieces, only the fresh, kind, and beautiful tenderness that bonded us.

If each year of our life were a chapter, I am at the chapter 32. The one I moved to Sao Paulo. The one I had to say goodbye to a beautiful lifetime project. The one I had to say hello to a new life.

New apartment, new job, new meetings, but trying to keep the old same sweetness for new dreams that lie ahead.”

Alden, Creative Vagabond, New York City

photo by Kevin Truong

Alden, in his own words: “My experience as a gay man has been such an evolution that I’m not sure I can define it in any way that would leave me satisfied. At times it hasn’t played a role in my life (to my knowledge) and like many I tried to suppress it’s role for quite a while. I began coming out when I was asked by a new friend just after I had graduated college and moved to Boston if I was straight or gay, and I decided to be honest. It took quite a while to fully come out. The most important people I came out to were my parents and I did this in a thank you note on my birthday just last year (in 2011). I thanked them for giving me the opportunities they have, and the privileges, and dropped the ‘I’m gay’ at the end hoping it would be as casual as ‘best regards’.

At that point I had mentally come so far that it was casual, it had become just another facet . . . not a defining aspect. I think it’s somewhere in the middle of these(a defining facet perhaps?). Most of the challenges I’ve experienced have been with myself I’d say. I stood in my own way for a long time before coming out, and dragged my feet a bit in finally doing so. Now that I am out and living New York my experience has been interesting. It’s easy to find yourself falling at different points on the litmus test of ‘straight’ to ‘gay’ scenes depending on what kind of evening you’re looking for, and my experience has led me to nights out with friends in gay bars, and straight alike. I’m only on my 6th month here, so I’m looking positively toward my future more easily than reflecting on my recent past.”