Tag Archives: the gay men project

Hadar, Photographer, New York City

photo by Kevin Truong

Hadar, in his own words: “Honestly I have never really thought about what being gay meant to me, overall I find being gay to be my sexual preference.

The challenges facing me has been more the stereotypes presented against me and also coming out was a huge challenge.

The gay community in New York City is really like a plethora of all different kinds of gay people, it is refreshing how much exists here.

My coming out story pretty much was actually fairly simple, I found that my family was mostly accepting, I think the hardest person to really accept it all was myself. I felt all my life being called gay was a negative thing and treated as a negative thing, so I was afraid to be this thing if it was negative.

If I could go back I would give my younger self the strength to come out earlier, be bolder and be braver. The fact is it held me back from growing into myself and accepting myself fully.

I think one thing about being gay that I want to put out there, is being gay has not been something that needs to be emphasized about my life or my art. Has it contributed to both of course, but I find for me that I want to see the world fully and not exist hidden inside a gay created environment solely. I do go to gay orientated places much more, but at the same time I fear that whenever you put the gay label on something it deters people from being a part of it. I at the same time think being gay can be a rebellion of sorts, not having the same pressures and pathways that straight people get pressured upon them. For me being gay is a part of me but not the only thing so I think that is always what I try to communicate.”

Giancarlo, Historian, Lima, Peru

photo by Kevin Truong

Giancarlo, in his own words: “Ser gay para mí es buscar lo que realmente me hace feliz. En Lima creo es un desafío constante, sabes que te vas a enfrentar con grandes retos, pero hasta hoy creo que es la mejor decisión que he tomado. Tienes que entender que amar a una persona no depende de su género, ni es una elección. Lo único que puedes elegir actualmente, es la forma como lo vives, en mi caso, decidí no esconderme porque siempre he buscado ser honesto conmigo mismo.

No puedo negar que el camino es difícil, tuve la suerte de encontrar personas que me quieren por como soy, pero reconozco que algunas personas antes de conocerme juzgaron mi forma de vivir mi homosexualidad. A pesar de eso debo valorar a las que se quedaron y me conocieron, que vieron más allá de la diferencia, reconociendo que era un amigos más. Por esto, creo que una de las labores que hacemos los chicos abiertamente homosexuales hoy, es que los demás entiendan que no somos extraños o enfermos, que no somos menos que ellos.

Sabemos que todo está cambiando, la gente habla de la homosexualidad, así sea en contra porque esto hace que la gente no tenga miedo a decir existen personas gay. También es notable que el activismo en Lima ha crecido, se nota que hay un esfuerzo por visualizar nuestros problemas y buscar soluciones. Aunque aún no tenemos todos nuestros derechos podemos decir que se discute los derechos gay, cosa que diez años atrás se veía como un imposible.

Salir del closet es un acto de madurez y de valentía, sobre todo con tus familiares por las expectativas que tienen de ti. Cuando tome conciencia de mi homosexualidad, rápidamente supe que para lo único que quería mi closet era para mi ropa. Poco a poco fui abriéndome con mis amigos; la experiencia fue liberadora, a pesar de las dudas y el miedo. Contarle a mi mamá fue una experiencia muy fuerte, en un primer momento no lo tomó tan bien, pero después entendió que soy feliz así y a pesar de no entenderlo, me respeta.
Viendo en retrospectiva sigo pensando que ha sido una de las mejores decisiones que he tomado. Sé que hay muchas personas que tienen temor, pero lo que puedo decir, a pesar de todas las dificultades que supone, lo vale. Sé que puede sonar muy cliché decir que todo mejora, es mas podría decir que a veces parece todo lo contrario. Lo que puedo decir es que mejora cuando entiendes que el error esta en las demás personas por juzgarte y que si no pueden vivir con ello, pues es su problema no el tuyo.”

In English:

“Being gay for me means finding what really makes me happy. In Lima I think it is a constant challenge, you know you’re going to face major challenges, but so far I think it is the best decision I ever made. You have to understand that loving a person does not depend on gender, nor is it a choice. All you can choose now, is the way to live, in my case, I decided not to hide because I always wanted to be honest with myself.

I can not deny that the road is hard, I was lucky to find people who want me as I am, but I recognize that some people judged me before meeting because of my way of living and homosexuality. Despite that I value those who stayed and who saw beyond the difference, recognizing that I was a friend. Therefore, I believe that one of the tasks we do today is to live openly as gay guys to show to others that we are not strangers or ill, that we are no less than them.

We know that everything is changing, people speak of homosexuality, and it makes it so people are not afraid to say there are gay people. It is also notable that activism has grown in Lima, and that there is an effort to display our problems and seek solutions. Although we still do not have all our rights we can say that we have gay rights that ten years ago were seen as impossible.

Coming out is an act of maturity and courage, especially with your family by the expectations that they have of you. When they were aware of my homosexuality, I quickly learned that all I wanted in my closet was my clothes. Little by little I was coming out with my friends; the experience was liberating, despite the doubts and fear. Telling my mom was a very powerful experience, at first she did not take it so well, but then realized that I am happy and despite not understanding, respects me.

Looking back I still think it was one of the best decisions I ever made. I know there are many people who are afraid, but I can say, despite all the difficulties, it is worth it. I know that may sound very cliché to say that every improvement is more I could say that sometimes seems quite the opposite. What I can say is that it improves when you understand that the error is in other people judgements and if they can not live with it, it is their problem not yours.”

Gabriel, Explorer, Lima, Peru

photo by Kevin Truong

Gabriel, in his own words: To be gay/lesbian/bi/transgender in Lima is a challenge. A challenge with your family, with your friends, and with yourself. Here it is very dificult to be free.

My first challenge in my life was tell my mom that I’m gay. The successes was her approval.

(With regards to coming out) The last year I put in scene the play “P.A.T.R.I.A”, in that play we talked about, what does it mean to be a Peruvian? And I talked about to be a gay man in Peru. A few years ago I was talking to friends and mom about my sexual orientation, but never felt free to talk about it in this way with everybody.

The gay comunnity in Lima is like Peru: Diverse and fragmented

My advice (to my younger self): Feel free to be yourself and don’t be afraid.”