Tag Archives: the gay men project

Laan, Dancer, Rio De Janiero, Brazil

photo by Kevin Truong

Laan, in his own words: (Being gay) means my inner self, my freedom. My biggest challenge was to accept myself the way I really am. Success for me was to be able to live as a gay man, to be happy with it and have lots of friends. Comming out was quick, practical and scary at the same time. (If I could give myself advice before coming out) : go slow kid, the world is big.”

Joffrey and Panya, with their sons Reaksa and Khemara, Kep, Cambodia

photo by Kevin Truong

Joffrey, in his own words: “(Being gay means) being a Dad – being a Husband after all.

Having my family which is my husband and our 2 kids. It is my best achievement. I am so proud of who we are. Being a Dad, is a real job and I am loving it. We both take it seriously as we do not wish to fail. It is quite hard to describe the happiness of having a family through all those mixed emotions.

I remember having a job interview and being asked: “what is your best achievement in life?” and I answered naturally: “My family, my kids”…oh well I did not get the job by the way!

Today, we both work hard for them, to make sure that their present & future time is secure. But to be able to work hard – I do source myself into their energies. I get my strength to work hard & be a good employee through their joy & happiness. It is all connected in a way.

(With regards to coming out) I left my home country (France) when I was 19. So it was for me easy to be myself in the UK. Therefore – when I had my first long term relationship I emailed my mum and my older sister (The younger one knew it already) Not a nice way to tell them (not very brave of me to do so). I expected them to be upset. I guess I just did not know them very well – weird to say but realistic. I was wrong. It has never been for anyone living around me/us an issue.

(The community in Kep, Cambodia is) Very gay friendly.

(Advice I’d give my younger self) Be happy when other people are happy. Be yourself. Show to others your happiness of being who you are.”

Dave, Cashier, Jakarta, Indonesia

photo by Kevin Truong

Dave, in his own words: “. (Being gay means) being my own self. I mean, since I was a little boy, I was already attracted physically with other boys and I think it’s natural. Because I don’t know what we call it. When I grew up and became a teenager, that feeling became stronger, and never changed. I’m still attracted physically (and sometimes sexually) with men. There’s no force, no pretending, it flew naturally, came from my feeling. I can’t deny it. After I went to college, I understood about homosexuality. I’m a part of it. Being a gay, man (biologically has a penis) who is attracted physically and sexually to another man. But, sometimes, I think that I’m in a wrong body, a female in a male body. Hahahahaa.. So, I like to make over myself and become a female (crossdresser)

The biggest challenge in my life has been conservative people. They won’t accept us just like we are. We live in a Muslim (most of the religion) country with a lots of norms and rules that came from the conservative points of view.

(With regards to coming out) Actually I’ve already come out since I was a little boy. I told my friend (a boy) that I liked another boy too. In that time, I also acted like a girl, liked to play with girl’s stuff, including wearing my mom’s dress. And I enjoyed it. So, I guess, my parents already knew about it. They never asked me but, I can saw it from their attitude, they accepted me. Maybe because I got good achievements at school and I was the one of my family who went to college. My brother used go against me, but now, he already accept me just like I used to be now.

There is lots of gay community in Jakarta. You can find them everywhere, but not the discreet groups. Usually, the discreet ones, use social media to make communications, and make appointments to meet each other in a secret place too (I mean maybe in a hotel, rented room, etc) not in a public areas. There’s still a gap between the sissy ones with the manly ones (straight acting), the high end with the low end.

(Advice I’d give my younger self) Being gay isn’t wrong. It’s not a sin. It’s natural. It comes from your feelings and heart. So, just accept yourself. Just being yourself, not pretending to be someone else. You are not alone.”