Kit was born and raised in Singapore. He came here to go to college in Texas. We met soon after he took his first job out of college, in Philadelphia. He was just coming to grips with his sexuality. He approached me to be his pen pal on the web and I agreed. We did not meet in person for over six months but once we did, it was clear that we enjoyed one another a lot. Once he got his green card, Kit came to live with me in Boston.

I was raised in a conservative family and married early. By the time I met Kit I had served 23 years in the active Army and was working a second career. I was also out to everyone by then, which provided Kit great support in his coming out journey.

We have both prospered professionally and, as we are both in the same field now, we are able to give significant understanding and support to one another.

Being gay is an aspect of our life, an important one and one that we are proud of, but it does not rule our existence. We lead a pretty normal, home based, lifestyle. We have a nice circle of friends and remain close to our families. We try to be supportive of the local and national gay community in a variety of ways.

The challenges I’ve had I think have been personal, meaning, I had to learn to accept myself so I could find the strength to tell those who didn’t accept me that their opinion of who I am doesn’t matter. It’s not easy to focus and be productive in any kind of work if you are constantly worried what others think of who you are. The successes I’ve had? I suppose finishing art school, running a web comic I’m proud of and joining a terrific studio full of great artists here in Portland, Periscope Studio.

I’m not sure how I would identify the gay community in Portland. I tend to gravitate towards making friends and fostering great relationships more through game nights and movie nights and books clubs than going out to bars. I haven’t ever wanted to categorize or assume what the gay community would be like through my experiences at a bar or a club. I don’t feel that’s accurate. Peacock in the Park was fantastic as I felt a sense of community from Portland gays that day.

I came out to most of my friends once I came home from my two year stint as a Mormon missionary, but that was a bit easier considering I moved far away from my family. Several years ago I came out to my sister who was great but a year after that I came out to my parents through a letter. I felt it was the best way I knew for me to get out everything I wanted to say without being interrupted and leave the ball in their court. It didn’t go too well at first, but things are getting better.