Tag Archives: pictures of gay men

Adam, Director of Online Programs, Washington D.C.

photo by Kevin Truong

Adam, in his own words:
“Being gay means bringing another aspect of diversity and humanity to my community. I believe the best kinds of communities are diverse and have people from all walks of life in terms of not only sexual orientation but also faith, education, race, and other backgrounds. I am proud to bring another aspect — in this case, love — to my friends, family, colleagues and neighborhood.

(Challenges I’ve faced) Discrimination and second-class citizenship. I’ve dedicated much of the last 7 years of my life to resolving that not only for myself but for others in the LGBTQ community. But discrimination goes beyond rights, it’s intrinsic in language and person-to-person treatment. In high school, I was bullied and called names. I overcame that but others still face those challenges. That’s the real next frontier that’s both concurrent with and after legal equality: changing society and how we treat one another in everyday life. The military is legally “safe” for the gays, but gay servicemembers are not always treated as they should be by their peers. Union contracts in major sporting leagues forbid discrimination, but there is no major “out” player as of this post because of fear. Full “personal equality” is the place to which we must get as a society.

(The gay community in DC is) Vibrant. From the Halloween high heel drag race to dozens of gay sports clubs to bear yoga, there’s so many wonderful opportunities to be part of a gay community. Like DC in general, it is status-obsessed and class-based, but once you get past that, people here are good to one another, stand up for each other when we face challenges, and have a helluva lot of fun.

(With regards to my coming-out story) I first told my best friend, Aditi, who was out as a lesbian way back in our high school in the Buffalo suburbs during winter break ’03. Then I told my best college friend Jackie in the dorms at University of Rochester, where we attended undergrad. That gave me courage and I swore I would tell my family before I went away to DC to intern in the summer of ’04.

Just before my trip to DC, I sat watching an episode of Will & Grace with my mom, during which Will and Jack try to turn a straight guy into gay, taking him to musicals and shopping and all. Before a commercial break, they sit on the couch panting, “wow, turning a guy gay is hard!” “Yeah… I wonder how my mother did it?” Fade to commercial. I thought, well, that’s a sign, muted the TV, turned to mom, and told her. I got a big hug and a talk about HIV. With Dad it was much harder because of his background, but we’ve come a long way. My sister heard it from my mom and then word spread.

I think gay people have a much harder time because straight people never have to have that heart-pounding, waiting-for-the-right-moment, fear-of-getting-rejected talk about who they love. I still have to exercise discretion with someone like my 100-year-old grandpa, who passed without ever knowing, or my 3-year-old nephew. It’s unfair but hopefully we as a society come to a place where assumptions aren’t made one way or another about who you love. In college I co-led our “Safe Space” program, training Resident Advisers and others to provide welcoming spaces for LGBTQ students. We taught to ask “are you seeing anyone?” instead of saying “do you have a girlfriend” to a guy. It’s little things like re-doing assumptions which make the coming out process easier for everyone. That, in turn, following Harvey Milk’s clarion “you must come out” call, advances both legal equality and personal equality for all.”

photo by Kevin Truong

B.G. 1.0 + 2.0, Volleyball Team, New York City

photo by Kevin Truong

B.G. 1.0 + 2.0, in their own words:
“Gotham (n)

a journalistic nickname for New York City

a village proverbial for the foolishness of its inhabitants

How appropriate then that we all are a part of a gay volleyball league in the great city of New York. Once a week we battle on the court for glory, medals, and – most importantly – the chance to say “suck it!” at the nearby bar afterwards. It’s an immensely fun experience: the friendly competition, the silly emails, the awesome photos, and the creative team names– everything from punny to honorary. But for most of us, being part of a gay sports team is anything but frivolous.

As most gay men will attest, it’s difficult to meet people outside of bars, clubs, and websites, and how often do any of those relationships develop into rewarding friendships anyway? As part of a gay sports team, you become part of a society filled with people from all sorts of occupations and of all lifestyles and ages. Sharing a mutual affection for a sport is a solid foundation for a friendship to develop, and the team camaraderie generated by the competitive drive to win is an instant catalyst to those relationships. Reveling in victories, sharing defeats, witnessing your teammates making incredible plays and learning how to work as one makes being on a team something that can’t be replicated and provides a social experience that we all cherish.

In every sense, the environment created by being a part of a gay sports team is a healthy place. Volleyball is an athletic sport, and once a week you can work up a sweat, abandon your stress, and step outside of yourself in an arena where drugs and alcohol are not needed – a rare commodity indeed. For some, it’s a place to abolish their own internalized homophobia. For others it’s a place to face their childhood fears of gym class and develop a strong identity in an athletic setting that is safe and supportive. Some use it to redefine for themselves what masculinity means – whether that means embracing gay stereotypes, or shattering them. For some it’s as simple as getting a chance to be active every week or to flex a creative muscle when designing the team logo or uniform. Some just want to show off, some just want to meet guys and some just want to win. It can be as uncomplicated as you want it to be, and as meaningful as you make it.

Being a part of a gay sports team gives us something to look forward to each week, something that makes us smile when we think about it, and most importantly, a sense of belonging. In a predominantly heterosexual society it’s easy to feel like we are alone. Our team represents how we are many, we are different, we are present and we are awesome.

Ultimately, celebrating our community in an active, healthy, and engaging way is the foremost reason why being on a gay sports team is important to us.”

photo by Kevin Truong

Justin, American Studies Student, New York City

photo by Kevin Truong

Justin, in his own words: “In the most literal sense, being gay is just an attraction to someone of the same sex. And, in one regard, for me at least, being gay is just that. But when you consider how much our sexuality dictates how we act and dress and speak and live, I think that being gay (or sexuality, in general) becomes something more. So on one hand, I think that being gay is just a fraction of who I am as a person. That is, I’m not just gay; I’m also a brother, a son, a friend, a student, etc. and I have goals and aspirations and wants and needs that have little to do with my sexuality. But on the other hand, that small part of me has had a significant impact on my person, and I’m always mindful of that.

The challenges that I’ve faced being gay have been largely internal. I’ve only come out in the last two years and, in that time, I struggled with what being gay meant for my identity. I think that there is a pretty generalized notion of what gay men look like or act like, and because I didn’t conform to those standards when I first came out, I felt like I wasn’t “gay enough.” And I think that this notion is even more pronounced in the black community; straight black men seem held to a standard of hyper-masculinity while gay black men (the inverse of straight black men) seem held to an opposite standard of hyper-femininity. Because I don’t see myself as either incredibly masculine or feminine, I’ve found it difficult to strike a balance between these two and present myself in a way that reflects this balance, so that I’m not trying to be super flamboyant and “twinky” in order to fit in with the gay community or so that I’m not trying to “butch up” to fit in with everyone else.

I guess that, in a way, this is my coming out story, since I still haven’t come out to some friends and family members, and I left some to infer that I was gay without making an official declaration.

But I first came out in my freshman year of college, after a friend of mine confided in me and told me that he was gay. It seemed cheap to keep my secret from him after he had been so open with me. So I told him, and I remember feeling free and relieved and secure. And I wanted to replicate that feeling, so I told everyone: my ex-girlfriend, my best friend from home, all of my friends at school, my brother, and finally my parents (all of whom claimed that they already knew). Nothing made me surer of my relationships than the outpouring of love and support from my friends and family after my coming out, and my only regret is that I had not told them sooner.”