Tag Archives: pictures of gay men

Michael and Rob, Canyon Country, California

Michael and Rob, photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

Rob and Michael, photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

Michael and Rob, photo by Kevin Truong

Michael, in his own words:“Being gay is an attribute like many other attributes, it’s part of who we are, but it isn’t the whole of who we are. Although we, and many others, have faced and overcome challenges as a result of being gay, being attracted to men doesn’t define us unless we allow it. That said, being “gay” is so much more than being attracted to men. Because of the struggle that often comes with it, being gay is to be a master of the heart because you’ve spent so much time repairing your own, being gay means perseverance when everyone is telling you to give up, it means honesty in being true to yourself, it means empathy to those who may have shared your struggle, and it means pride in the value you bring, just as you are, to the community, to your profession, and to your family.

Understanding that I was gay (Michael) took much longer than most and as a result it caused a lot of turmoil in my life and the lives of those around me. Finding a loving, honest relationship, one that feeds my soul and makes me a better person is the single greatest success I’ve realized. I am a very lucky man.

By the time I came out (18 years ago) I had been a leader in the church, I was pre-med, I had been married and divorced, and had experienced such emotional struggles with who I was and who I was expected to be that I simply didn’t want to fight anymore; several times I reached the point that I simply thought that life shouldn’t have to be so hard to live. I had the sense to go get professional counseling, I surrounded myself with people who really did care about me and I got through it. I appreciate my life now so much more because of those hard times and my heart breaks for so many kids that don’t make it through. Coming out is different for everyone and it’s very personal. The key is to remember that life is worth living and you can make it because there are people that want to see you happy, even if they can’t express it the way you need to hear it.

Gays in Canyon Country? I thought we were the token gays here . I really have no idea. We have so many loving straight neighbors that we don’t want for much in Canyon Country. We have our close gay friends that live around the country that we see regularly but in Canyon Country it’s just us and the alpacas; we like it that way I think.

(Advice I’d give my younger self)
a. Calm down, don’t be in such a hurry; spend more time finding yourself and your passions.
b. Don’t be afraid to love – getting it right takes practice,
c. Don’t be afraid to trust-you will be taken advantage of so just get it out of the way now, there are lessons to be learned there,
d. Save more money- growing old with good taste is expensive.”

Kergan (Author) and Russ (Creative Director) with their sons Mason and Marcus, Orange, California

Kergan, Mason, Marcus, and Russ, photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

Kergan, the Gay Men Project, photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

Russ, Marcus, Mason, and Kergan, photo by Kevin Truong

Kergan, in his own words: “After almost 12 years together and with two children, my partner Russ and I were finally married on June 7, 2014, surrounded by family and friends. Stepping out into our garden ceremony, I was overwhelmed by the waves of love generated towards us, fully cognizant of the long road traveled — individually, collectively, and communally — to reach that sacred moment. Many of us who are LGBT have been negatively impacted by derogatory, mean-spirited, and misinformed statements made by others, particularly in the name of religion, and the toll such negativity takes can be devastating to the psyche. Being able to stand together, publicly, with our pastor officiating, and have our relationship embraced and celebrated helped fortify us emotionally, as individuals, as a couple, and as a family.

To reach that milestone, Russ and I took very different life paths, which eventually intersected. I grew up in Orange County, CA, in a conservative household, but came out at age 17, driven by my passion for the arts and activism. I volunteered and worked at AIDS Project Los Angeles during the height of the epidemic, and held the hand of my then-partner Shane as he died of the disease. I later met another partner and adopted our eldest boy, Mason, at birth. Once that partner’s betrayals were discovered, I unexpectedly found myself a single dad with a two year-old son.

Russ, having grown up in Tennessee in a religious household, long struggled with his attraction to men. Pushing his feelings deep inside, he instead focused extensively on his career until he eventually came out at 38. The idea of having children had never seemed much like a possibility for Russ, given his career and his limited experience with the LGBT community, but after meeting me, Russ began to seriously consider fatherhood, allowing us to move forward as a couple. We went on to adopt Marcus at age 2 1/2, through foster care, and finally our family was complete.

Today, we work to ensure that our children grow up to be honest, respectful, and accepting of others. We focus on building communities and bettering the lives of others through volunteer work, activism, and our progressive church. And, as it is with any family with school age children, our lives very much revolve about them and their activities.

In our attempt to shape their lives for the better, Russ and I talk with our boys regularly about any number of topics — life, spirituality, ethics, politics, culture — and how to best grow and flourish as human beings. And the advice we give to them is the same advice I’d give anyone else, as it has long served me well: Live authentically. Tell your story. Change the world.”

Ray, Professor, Dallas

photo by Kevin Truong

Ray, in his own words: “Being gay means many things to me. As a child it was a stigma of shame. It was my scarlet letter and an object of my own disgust and disdain. Later, being gay was simply a biological expression, no different than height or hair color. However, in my 30’s I have come to embrace being gay as a gift of the Divine. I believe divinity has qualities of both male and female, that is both masculine AND feminine energy. So, to be gay means that I too possess both energies, and is therefore a divine gift given to me as I maneuver through the world.

For me, religion has been a paradox in my life and has served as the catalyst for my greatest challenge as well as my biggest success. As a child and teen I suffered from paralyzing insecurity. I felt as if everyone else had the key to living life well and somehow it had been kept secret from me. So, I looked to conservative religious understanding to give me a strict “how-to” guide to help alleviate my insecurity, live life and simply fit in. Needless to say this helped for a while but ultimately stripped me of my authenticity and left me upset and bitter. I eventually overcame this challenge, and now live life as authentically and honestly and I possibly can. To me, this is my greatest success. Oddly enough, the great success of authenticity couldn’t have been achieved without the comfort, encouragement and faith I often drew from the foundation of a religious upbringing (particularly in my darkest moments). Truly the paradox of life!

The gay community is Dallas is large and in many ways very active (Dallas’ local chapter of the Human Rights Campaign, The Federal Club, is annually a leader in fundraising for the HRC and the largest gay church in the WORLD is also located in Dallas), yet a word that is often used to describe the Dallas at large is “clique” and this is no different in the gay community. In many ways Dallas is still reminiscent of its segregated past…but today’s segregation happens not only across racial lines but across socioeconomic class, gender (gay vs. lesbian), geography (where you live in the city), and social groups. There are many clicks who rarely find the need to intersect with the others.

My coming out story is quite lengthy, so I’ll share the short version. I was raised religious; I was raised to be closeted, therefore I married very young (19 years old) and I had three children very young. I fell madly in love with a man. I could no longer go on with the farce….not to mention when I asked my wife for a divorce she went into my email and found a love letter to the gentlemen and confronted me with it….after which 99% of my friends distanced themselves, leaving me to recreate a new life…. high drama indeed (a screenplay waiting to happen)!

If I could tell my younger self one thing I would tell him to be your unashamed and unapologetic authentic self…no matter what!”

THE GAY MEN PROJECT

The visual catalog of gay and queer men around the world.

Tag Archives: pictures of gay men

Michael and Rob, Canyon Country, California

Kergan (Author) and Russ (Creative Director) with their sons Mason and Marcus, Orange, California

Ray, Professor, Dallas