Tag Archives: pictures of gay men

Ryan, Strategist, Washington D.C.

photo by Kevin Truong

Ryan, in his own words: “I often equate being gay to having a heart condition. Our hearts are so big that the extent of the lives we live – our work, our activism, and way we show love to one another is filled with a level of passion and creativity that’s far and beyond most mainstream expectations. Yes, while what makes me gay is my unquestionable attraction to men; being gay is taking this ever growing heart and putting it to good use.

(With regards to challenges) I’d say issues around self-acceptance. Which I’m fortunate to have moved forward and triumphed.

I love living in DC. It’s a big city filled with small towns, and the gay community intersects every neighborhood within – making ours a united and present force in an ever evolving city. DC is large enough to find a community you’re comfortable with, yet small enough not to be overwhelmed. When I arrived as your typical bright eyed intern and later returning for good, the focus was being out in the office – being present and upfront with your colleagues around your everyday life. To see so much change in 15 years – where Supreme Court Justices, cabinet secretaries and members of Congress reference their gay and lesbian staffers in changing their hearts and minds around issues of equality -shows the power of being present. It’s often the advice I give new residents – Be Present. This isn’t a city where the community greets you when you arrive, it’s up to you to reach out, connect and get to know others.

(With regards to coming out) Completing an internship, I was giving a tour of the city to a group visiting from Nigeria. We arrived in downtown DC in the midst of a traffic jam and I was forced to scramble to avoid any delays, so we trekked to Pennsylvania Ave., blocks away from the White House. I had no idea the traffic jam was due to DC’s large and popular Gay Pride parade – a first for me, and certainly the first for 30 West African youth workers experiencing their first full day in the United States.

I guided the group to our destination; awkwardly explaining drag queens, dykes on bikes and PFLAG to DC’s newest visitors. Arriving at our destination and later returning to our tour bus, three members of our party broke out into tears, sharing with me and their colleagues what a fortunate gift they were given in arriving to this country on this day. Seeing the truest form of American liberty, freedom of speech and freedom of assembly in a way no aged document or glowing monuments could every do.

To them, the emblems of Freedom, Justice and Liberty were the PFLAG moms, drag queens and bikers marching with pride and demanding their nation do better. In that moment, and later in quiet reflection, I came out to the most important person in my life…myself. Later coming out to friends and being outed to family actually made the best out of bad situations – in time. Yet, I always go back to that tour as a turning point. One that makes me aware of those who still struggle with coming out, our outreach to them, and this country, ever fighting to become a more perfect union.”

Ernesto, President and Founder, Washington D.C.

photo by Kevin Truong

Ernesto, in his own words: “Being gay has been an organic process. I share similar experiences to other men insofar that in my youth being gay might as well been a curse. Today,”equal” resonates more and more, which is just a validation of what I’ve fundamentally known all my life.

The coming out process happened in a slow and segregated manner for me, on a personal and professional level. Today, I am a married man, and while I often have to correct the assumption I am married to a woman, It’s exciting to be part of the paradigm shift from marriage being between a man and a woman to marriage is the union of two individuals. Professionally, from the days when everyone “knew” and waited for me come out, I am the owner of a gay owned and operated business. It doesn’t make me a better design professional, it speaks to integrity: I do not hide this part of who I am, so by association my clients have more to trust.

The LGBT community in DC is savvy, powerful and influential. I have the honor of serving as President of the Capital Area Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce; The Chamber. It’s been a life affirming experience through the relationships with the individuals I’ve met in the organization, other LGBT community leaders and our Allies. The time I’ve invested in this organization pales in comparison to the bounty of what I’ve received in return.

My coming out story is painful. I fell in love with a wonderful person who didn’t love me in return, but circumstances kept us together for a long time. In many ways it pushed me further back in the closet and when the relationship ended I barely recognized myself. It took many years, but the lesson I learned has empowered me greatly; I have the option to say “no,” and walk away in any circumstance. Perseverance is a virtue, but it can also be a disguise for denial and avoidance.”

Marc, Consultant, Montreal

photo by Kevin Truong

Marc, in his own words: “Being gay. That is a strange thing. I think it’s so linked to who you are, you’re identity, that I don’t really remember it all the time. I can’t really say anymore how it shapes how I’m different from any other heterosexual guy. I guess I really feel it when I hit the margins of my life, my world. When you need to leave your better half across the world since you cannot qualify for a family reunion visa. Because there isn’t a box you can check to qualify your family or your relationship. When you need to lie about the wife you left behind to explain the wedding band mark on your finger when you’re travelling.

When I came out to my parents, my mother cried. Not for the forsaken soul of her little boy, not for the grand-children she was never to have. She was crying because she knew I would insist on respect and recognition. I wouldn’t take no for an answer. I would be hurt. And she was right. I was emotionally and physically hurt – i still don’t know which is worse. I’ve lost friends, I got hit by cars, rocks and fists, I was taken some of my basic human rights away. I was threaten, followed. Maybe the things that hurt more came from people I was closer to, and introduced their statements with “You know I’m not a homophobe, but…”.

But if same sex love isn’t a choice, open-mindedness isn’t either. It comes with education and the development of empathic capacities. That’s why I think that projects like this one are important and help create understanding and relatedness between LGBTs’ and heterosexuals’ life. I have the chance to live in an accepting and open world, the art world. Being gay, being different, played a big part in the acceptance of my identity as an artist. I’ve linked my artistic aspirations to my homosexuality, as if it was a symptom of it. It took me a long time to see that being gay/straight doesn’t come with an identity bundle of traits and tastes and that I needed to continue to learn who I was. Fifteen years later, I’m still curious about who I am and the quest to make my identity flower is constant. And I think that when more people will discover that, we’ll have one foot in the door of acceptance and more men and women embracing the complexities of their selves.”