Tag Archives: oregon

Kit and Walter, Portland, Oregon

Kit (left) Walter (right), photo by Kevin Troung

Kit (left) Walter (right), photo by Kevin Troung

Walter in his own words: Originally posted 9/10/14

“We have been together for nearly 20 years and we will celebrate our 10th wedding anniversary next month. We were living and working in Boston when marriage equality was passed in 2004. We took advantage of it, even though we were unsure if it would remain legal, as there were many attempts to undo it.

Kit was born and raised in Singapore. He came here to go to college in Texas. We met soon after he took his first job out of college, in Philadelphia. He was just coming to grips with his sexuality. He approached me to be his pen pal on the web and I agreed. We did not meet in person for over six months but once we did, it was clear that we enjoyed one another a lot. Once he got his green card, Kit came to live with me in Boston.

I was raised in a conservative family and married early. By the time I met Kit I had served 23 years in the active Army and was working a second career. I was also out to everyone by then, which provided Kit great support in his coming out journey.

We have both prospered professionally and, as we are both in the same field now, we are able to give significant understanding and support to one another.

Being gay is an aspect of our life, an important one and one that we are proud of, but it does not rule our existence. We lead a pretty normal, home based, lifestyle. We have a nice circle of friends and remain close to our families. We try to be supportive of the local and national gay community in a variety of ways.

If we had any advice to give our younger selves it would be to be proud of who you are and how you live and worry less about what others think. As Oscar Wilde said: “The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.”

Johnathan, Illustrator, Portland, Oregon

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

Johnathan, in his own words: “Being gay means everything and nothing to me. My sexuality is important to me but doesn’t define me. I am a man who just so happens to like other men and it’s not that big of a deal.

My biggest challenge and success has been moving across the country by myself. Leaving my parents was hard, mostly for my father, but I had to for my own well being and growth. The City and State I was raised in became a hole of depression but the last three years spent in Oregon have been the best thing that’s happened. Every day I am creating a beautiful life.

(The gay community in Portland) has it’s pros and cons, and I appreciate it all the more because I was raised in a much smaller gay community. I’m happy to have the opportunity to freely connect with other gay men but it can be lonely.

It took me until college to come to labeling myself as homosexual. On the day before Father’s Day, at the age of eighteen, I came out to my parents. My father cried and my mother laughed. They both grew to understand and support my homosexuality like they had in all other aspects of my life.

I wouldn’t be where I am today without everything happening the way that it did. Any advice I could give (to my younger self) probably wouldn’t have been appreciated. I wish I would have started therapy sooner though.”

Evan, Electrical Designer, Portland, Oregon

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

Evan, in his own words: “I don’t know what [being gay] quite means to me, but it feels like a gift. It’s like life gives you this hall pass that exempts you from everyone else’s expectations and just shoves you out the door. And that freedom is not just limited to who you sleep with — it also kind of frees you up to be more selective with and committed to your community, yours friends, your career, etc. It’s just like Hamlet said, “you can go your own way! (Go your own way!)”

Now, I’m not saying straight people don’t have the same ability or opportunity, but when you’re gay, you already have to go through these dramatic lengths to start living your truth, so it’s not that much extra effort to be like, “…and I also don’t believe in God!” The marginal cost of pushing it that one extra step is minimal. When you’ve already risked throwing away all your important relationships in order to be honest about who you are, the decision of whether or not you’ll look weird wearing superhero T-shirts in public becomes inconsequential.

[My coming out story] is pretty mundane. Because of the way I was raised and my particular taste in men, I didn’t really catch on to the fact that I was gay until I was, like, 17 or 18. With my conservative Christian upbringing, being gay just wasn’t an option I even considered for myself growing up, and I wasn’t able to identify my sexual awakening for what it was at the time (in retrospect it was obvious, but I wasn’t aware back then that sexual attraction to fat, hairy dudes was a thing). So, I didn’t come out to myself — or anyone else — until I was 19. While that was really exciting at first, I hit some traumatic “coming out” road bumps early on that compelled me to slow the whole process down. I didn’t finally come out to my parents (and, by extension, everyone) until I was 22. But, I will say, it’s been pretty smooth sailing since then. My parents and my family have been awesome, and in general, life got a million times easier when I didn’t have to hide this big part of who I was. My relationships with people have become much more genuine than they were back then.

[With regards to the LGBTQ community in Portland] Couldn’t really tell ya, but from the outside looking in, it seems great!

[With regards to successes and challenges] Nothing really comes to mind —I’ve led a pretty charmed life. I guess, if anything, it’s been a struggle having a face that’s almost too symmetrical.

[With regards to advice to my younger self] Oh god, this is the question that always makes the queens on Drag Race cry. I was really stubborn growing up (and probably still am) so I doubt even face-to-face advice from a time-traveling older version of myself would’ve penetrated. I’d have to pull some serious Inception-level shit in order to get incorrigible, middle-school-aged me to listen. But, assuming it could work, my advice to Young Me would be to take better care of your body during puberty, because the scars you pick up from that time, both physical and emotional, are never going away. They may heal over, but they’ll always be with you.

And also, start playing with your wiener a little bit sooner. It’s healthy and totally normal.”