Tag Archives: oregon

Justin, Bartender, Portland, Oregon

photo by Kevin Truong

Justin, in his own words: “[Being queer] means everything to me. I think it’s one of the most important and defining aspects of my life. It shapes how I see the world and how the world sees me. I have heard people say that their sexuality doesn’t define, or isn’t the most important part of who they are, but I disagree. That sounds like internalized homophobia to me. I’m not saying that the physical act of the type of sex I enjoy is the most important part of who I am, obviously not. We are more than our bodies and what we do with them, and queerness is more than just sex. It’s history. It’s art. It’s culture. It’s community. It’s the armor I wrap around myself, and it’s the root of my passions and how I express love.

There are generations of people who have come before me who’s strength and influence I carry with me wherever I go. I acknowledge and appreciate their contribution every day, and I do my best to honor their devotion, sacrifices, and wisdom.
Queerness is my legacy. Queerness is my power.

I think life is all challenges and successes, and that’s what’s fun about it. As for the biggest or most impactful of these, I sure hope I get the chance to reflect on them on my death bed, but until then, I’ll just take them as they come.

My coming out was probably one of least harrowing or interesting stories. I have always been “obviously” gay, and even though I denied it, I couldn’t hide it. My body decided to give me away long before I decided to own it. The sky is blue, the grass is green, it is what it is. But I chose to deny it until I was in a position where I felt I was responsible for myself and my own life. When I turned 18, I came out to friends and started to surround myself with gay and queer-identifying people. By 19, I was in my first long term relationship and when I was ready to move out of the house, I came out to the family. I told my dad, via email, that I was moving in with my boyfriend and he said “good for you, when can I help you move out?” and after that I treated it as if it was the most regular thing in the world, and everyone else did too. Because it was.

I think that the queer community in Portland is one of the most diverse and accepting communities I’ve encountered. I feel like the intersectionality of the community here is surprising, considering Portland’s less than stellar reputation for inclusivity. The over lap of gay, lesbian, trans folk, and all the other colors of the queer spectrum is surprisingly pervasive here.
As for the “scene,” well, it’s no San Francisco but she tries.

(Advice to my younger self) Take more risks. It’s ok to be careful and to calculate your movements in life, but not at the expense of having fun, trying new things, and pushing your own limitations.
Treat your family better. They’re better for having you in their lives, and you are better for having them in yours.

Also, exercise more. You’re too lazy and you’re gonna have anxiety about it later on in life, so go for a run or something.”

Nathan, Forrester, Boring, Oregon

photo by Kevin Truong

Nathan, in his own words: “(Being gay) means to stay true to who I am, and live a normal live like anybody else.

(With regards to successes) When I was in college I got a scholarship to study abroad and it was the best.

It took me sometime to accept myself, after that I came out to my friends and I still have not come out to my family.

The gay community in Portland is very diverse and unique, people are not afraid to be who they are and I really like that.

(Advice to my younger self) You are not doing anything wrong, people who loves you will stand by your side, and if you believe in yourself you gonna be happier.”

Kurt, Creative Director, Portland, Oregon

photo by Kevin Truong

Kurt, in his own words: “I think if anything I have a responsibility to the next generation of gay men to pay it forward, as has been done with me. I had a couple of people who helped me as a younger man to navigate the gay world with the least amount of drama and pressure and I am grateful. They were out and proud. When it wasn’t that easy and accepted as the world and more so Portland is today. They were sexual and gentle and loving. They were aggressive and in your face. They were fearless and willing to risk their health and lives to be who they are. They were creative and pushed boundaries. After HIV/ Aids and living through the beginning, the middle and hopefully the end, I have a lot to say. I’m having my chance to sit quietly or be involved in my community. I choose to be involved and responsible.

I think family has been my biggest challenge. We are all very different people, with very different belief systems, I’ve tried my best to be part of and have not succeeded very well. I did get to grow emotionally and spiritually and be independent, so I am grateful for the path I was given. I have had the opportunity to follow my heart with my work in catering/creative expression and art collecting/embroidery and have been very successful from the outside looking in and financially, I’ve also had the balance so one can feed the other. I think I found out quickly in life stuffed cake was not going to purchase a home for me ….

There really isn’t much of a (coming out) story really, maybe at the time it felt more scary and dramatic, but as I age and look back those feelings and memories, they are pretty much fun, wild, sexy, carefree and limitless (pre-HIV). I moved to Oregon from Minnesota at 19 and pretty much knew on the trip across the west, it was all about being who I was as a person (which included my sexuality, but not limited to it) and being able to discover that. I did go a bit sideways in my 20’s, but moved back to center in my 30’s so the balance was adjusted without too much of a internal tug of war. I had kind and gentle people who I crossed on that road and am grateful for all of them. I do have to say when I turned 21, my ex chef at Ainsworth’s Bar and Grill, Chuck took me to my first gay and did not hold back! The Other Inn was a sleazy, pool bar in downtown Portland with nasty drag queens playing pool with greasy leather clad dudes. I received a bit too much attention, scared the shit out of me…..

(The gay community in Portland is) Splintered. Seems to me that we live and participate in very micro groups of gays, not that much different than a gay cruise ship in the Mediterranean. The muscle boys live in the gym, the pool boys, well they live by the pool, the druggies party from 11:00PM- 8:00AM and then sleep all day. The couples leave daily for excursions and the bears live at the buffets and indoor pools. Mixed group of gays at the nightly shows and casinos where everyone shows up eventually. Portland tends to splinter the same way, but rarely overlap. Could we be more white…?

(Advice to my younger self) Be gentle, be kind, be less fearful, care less, care more with balance, have balance, save money, spend all the money like you’re dying tomorrow, stop and smell the decaf, live in the garden, surround yourself in beauty, get a dog and finally: never underestimate the power of denial”

THE GAY MEN PROJECT

The visual catalog of gay and queer men around the world.

Tag Archives: oregon

Justin, Bartender, Portland, Oregon

Nathan, Forrester, Boring, Oregon

Kurt, Creative Director, Portland, Oregon