Tag Archives: new york city

Julien, Engineering Student, Paris

photo by Kevin Truong

Julien, in his own French words: “A mes yeux, être gay signifie plus qu’une simple orientation sexuelle. C’est un choix qui s’impose à nous, et conditionne un style de vie, un mode de réflexion, par rapport aux autres et à soi même. Il faut garder en tête aussi malgré tout que cela ne devance en aucun cas notre personnalité, nos goûts etc. Pour moi être gay c’est quelque chose qui me caractérise mais qui ne me définit donc pas.

Chaque jour je suis confronté au fait d’être gay, dans mon école, dois je le dire? Les élèves et les associations étant très friendly, ce n’est pas un problème, mes amis le comprenant tout a fait aussi. C’est d’ailleurs un critère important pour voir rapidement si un ami en est réellement un. Au sein de mon travail en tant que maître d’internat c’est plus délicat. Il est question d’autorité et de respect je suis donc plus discret. Cela ne concerne que moi après tout. Mais je ne m’en cache pas.

A Paris la communauté gay se caractérise par le quartier du marais dans le 4ème arrondissement, près de notre dame et de l’hôtel de ville. Très festif et multi-culturel, c’est un quartier où il fait bon vivre. De nombreux établissements friendly sont disséminés un peu autour. On y croise souvent des gens atypiques, et parfois quelques VIP.

Enfin l’histoire de mon coming ouf n’est pas aussi joyeuse que d’autres garçons de ce blog. Mes parents l’ont difficilement accepté même si l’idée fait petit a petit son chemin, et je considère que j’ai fait le maximum auprès d’eux. D’autres membres de ma famille sont au courant et l’acceptent très bien, ce qui me rend heureux. Mes amis, quant a eux l’ont tous plutôt bien pris, et cela a suscité de nombreuses questions auxquelles je réponds avec plaisir, et aujourd’hui je suis fier de tout le chemin que j’ai parcouru, au vu de la difficulté que cela présentait au départ.

Kechi, Designer, New York City

photo by Kevin Truong

Kechi, in his own words: “Being gay is the ultimate quest of finding self-worth with or without the validation of outside sources. Be it family, piers, society etc. Just as well it means knowing who you are, what you’re about and what you are capable of despite what the world and your current situation tells you.

(With regards to challenges) Too many to count. But finishing college and coming out to my parents have by far been the hardest. Another challenge has been and continues to be knowing what exactly a gay, black/Nigerian, Christian man with aspirations of becoming a fashion designer looks like. The fact that I’m still seeking it despite the odds in a way is its own success.

The gay community in New York City is a lot of things good and bad; large, superficial, diverse, political, colorful, progressive, Eurocentric, intellectual, ageist, fabulous, transgressive, homophobic, spiritual, hedonistic and the list goes on. But ultimately it is what you make it. If you want to party and do drugs there are plenty of people who are more than willing to do that with you. And if you want to further your growth as an individual and are open to having new experiences there are plenty of folks to go down that path with as well.

(With regards to coming out) In a nutshell when I was 16 my mom caught me looking at certain materials on the internets. Ten years later not too much has changed. It’s more like the big pink elephant in the middle of the room that no one talks about. I’ve told them on more than one occasion that I am gay and I didn’t ‘choose’ to be so but they refuse to believe that. Both of my parents come from very conservative backgrounds so the likelihood of them ever truly accepting me as their gay son is slim. But what’s hope for anyway?

I would tell my younger self a couple things:

-Grow thick skin, because it will definitely come in handy.

-Finding a meaningful relationship at the club; very unlikely.

-Sex is great but it can get really old, really fast.

-The sooner you are able to disregard what others say and think about you the better off you’ll be.

-Do not fall victim of finding self worth in materialistic and superficial possessions as so many people have and continue to do.

-You’ll never be completely ‘out’ of the closet; it’s a life long process.

-Some weekends are better spent staying in whether alone or with the company of friends.”

David, Actor/Fight-Director/Musician, New York City

photo by Kevin Truong

David, in his own words “Being gay is a great blessing. I feel that gay men are forced to confront their shadows at an early age and in ways that straight men, by and large don’t have to. We have to scrutinize our very identity as men and learn what that means to be ourselves. It’s a very personal journey of self-realization, self-acceptance and self-actualization. It can be daunting, heart-breaking, frightening, exciting, astonishing and deeply spiritual.

My journey was not easy. I didn’t come out to myself till I was in my mid-twenties and then to my parents in my late 20s. I had suppressed my gay nature all through adolescence and college; keeping my eye on the prize of making myself into an actor and theater artist. It was that very choice of vocation that forced me to be honest with myself and come out. I knew that I’d never be any good as an actor if I couldn’t be first honest with myself. An actor must be relentless in their quest for truth about the human condition and how to accurately tell it’s story.

Ironically, I never have been cast in a gay role for film or tv. I’m told I don’t “read” gay with my stocky build, and baritone voice. Luckily the stage has been more generous and allowed me to play some great gay characters.

Since then, I’ve worked hard to build bridges with many of NYC’s gay theater artists and have helped found a new Queer theater company: {Your Name Here} A Queer Theater Company. I also worked frequently as a fight-choreographer for off-broadway and indie-film. As far as I know, I’m the only “out” gay fight-director and like to think that I’m helping break stereotypes about gay men.

Other aspects of my nature worked against my easy integration into the gay community of NYC at first. I like martial arts and was a regular on the amateur tournament circuit. I enjoy rock /punk/psycho-billy music and the out-doors. I have found some acceptance in the leather and gay-pagan communities and have cultivated a wonderful circle of queer friends. “

THE GAY MEN PROJECT

The visual catalog of gay and queer men around the world.

Tag Archives: new york city

Julien, Engineering Student, Paris

Kechi, Designer, New York City

David, Actor/Fight-Director/Musician, New York City