Tag Archives: montreal

Marc, Consultant, Montreal

photo by Kevin Truong

Marc, in his own words: “Being gay. That is a strange thing. I think it’s so linked to who you are, you’re identity, that I don’t really remember it all the time. I can’t really say anymore how it shapes how I’m different from any other heterosexual guy. I guess I really feel it when I hit the margins of my life, my world. When you need to leave your better half across the world since you cannot qualify for a family reunion visa. Because there isn’t a box you can check to qualify your family or your relationship. When you need to lie about the wife you left behind to explain the wedding band mark on your finger when you’re travelling.

When I came out to my parents, my mother cried. Not for the forsaken soul of her little boy, not for the grand-children she was never to have. She was crying because she knew I would insist on respect and recognition. I wouldn’t take no for an answer. I would be hurt. And she was right. I was emotionally and physically hurt – i still don’t know which is worse. I’ve lost friends, I got hit by cars, rocks and fists, I was taken some of my basic human rights away. I was threaten, followed. Maybe the things that hurt more came from people I was closer to, and introduced their statements with “You know I’m not a homophobe, but…”.

But if same sex love isn’t a choice, open-mindedness isn’t either. It comes with education and the development of empathic capacities. That’s why I think that projects like this one are important and help create understanding and relatedness between LGBTs’ and heterosexuals’ life. I have the chance to live in an accepting and open world, the art world. Being gay, being different, played a big part in the acceptance of my identity as an artist. I’ve linked my artistic aspirations to my homosexuality, as if it was a symptom of it. It took me a long time to see that being gay/straight doesn’t come with an identity bundle of traits and tastes and that I needed to continue to learn who I was. Fifteen years later, I’m still curious about who I am and the quest to make my identity flower is constant. And I think that when more people will discover that, we’ll have one foot in the door of acceptance and more men and women embracing the complexities of their selves.”

Eric, Marketing Geek, Montreal

photo by Kevin Truong

Eric, in his own words: “Maybe it’s because of the open-mindedness of Montreal and the way this city embraces the LGBT community, but I feel like being a gay man doesn’t have as much to do with homosexuality as much as it does self-admittance.

I am blessed to have grown up in a city like Montreal, in a mega-super liberal family and with friends who did everything they possibly could to make my coming out so enjoyable. My life isn’t “just as good” as it was prior to my coming out; it’s much much better. I think I’d be very unhappy if I were still closeted. I think that the suppression would prevent me from enjoying many of the things I love in my life that are completely unrelated to my sexuality.

Like I said, being gay is more about a general self-acceptance or self-admittance process. Yes, your sexuality is crucial, but I like to think that it goes way beyond that. I believe coming out is the first step, the first exercise of profound introspection. The thought process that comes with that is what I really treasure; being able to take the time to listen to yourself and take action upon your honest conclusions despite what others might say. I think being gay is about transparency and authenticity, not just you vs. society but also you vs. you (that’s usually the trickiest one). That’s what being gay actually helps you prioritize: your own personal welfare over your concern of other people’s opinions. And it’s always going to be work in progress. I like looking back at the past 4 years of my life and measuring where I was against what I’ve become. To add to that, I’m really excited about what’s coming next.

So when I look at any gay man, proudly wearing either hair or glitter on his chest (or both), I see a courageous person who was able to face his true self and change the things that didn’t make him happy.”

Renaud, Architecture Student, Montreal

photo by Kevin Truong

Renaud, in his own French words: “If a bullet should enter my brain, let that bullet destroy every closet door.”
– Harvey Milk

Être gay, c’est pouvoir creuser jusqu’au plus profond de soi-même et être capable de s’accepter, peu importe ce qu’on y trouve et découvre. Y faire face, l’assumer, et essayer d’en tirer tout ce qu’il y a de mieux. Le plus difficile pour moi fût de reconnaître et d’apprendre à vivre avec cette identité sexuelle qui m’est propre, que l’on qualifie de “différente”, mais qui m’est plutôt individuelle. Difficile de faire le deuil d’une vie normale, le deuil de fonder une famille; difficile de faire face à l’inconnu et de voir l’avenir comme une vertigineuse falaise. Toutefois, peu à peu, on apprend à grimper cette paroie qui nous apporte finalement sérénité, puis on contemple tout le chemin accompli en se disant que la route fût ardue, avec son lot d’embûches, mais que le sommet en vaut largement la chandelle.

Nous sommes tous humains, nous devons tous aimer et être aimés. Nous avons tous nos propres batailles et être gay, c’est d’avoir vaincu. C’est avoir vaincu sa crainte du rejet, sa crainte de la solitude, sa crainte des préjugés. Être gay, c’est ne pas avoir peur du regard des autres, c’est ne pas avoir peur du jugement, c’est de se tenir debout pour ses convictions. C’est d’enlever son masque et se montrer à nu. C’est de se battre pour ses droits. C’est de se rallier et s’unir pour montrer l’absurdité d’un fossé qui n’aurait jamais dû exister.

“Cause baby, you are born this way.” – Lady Gaga”

THE GAY MEN PROJECT

The visual catalog of gay and queer men around the world.

Tag Archives: montreal

Marc, Consultant, Montreal

Eric, Marketing Geek, Montreal

Renaud, Architecture Student, Montreal