lgbt portraits | THE GAY MEN PROJECT

photo by Kevin Truong

Eric, in his own words: “In my study of music, I struggle to rid myself of a lifetime of fear and constructions in order to build a real connection with others. In the same way, I feel like all people, no matter what identity, struggle to break down these same walls in an effort to be themselves.

I struggle with societies definitions of masculinity and of homosexuality. After I came out, I didn’t want to identify with any definition. Participating in this project is special to me because for the first time, I feel like I am contributing to the larger gay experience and connecting to a community by simply being myself.

My career has given me the opportunity to travel and make music in many parts of the world. I feel thankful to be able to live here, freely, as myself. Expressing myself the way that I need to, striving to live the way I want to and being able to love who I want to.

I grew up a Mennonite in central Pennsylvania. My 86 year old grandmother is a conservative Mennonite and grew up immersed in dogmatic Christian theology. When she found out I was gay, it was difficult, but our relationship has come a long way since. She voted for the first time in her life, for Obama, in part for her change of heart on gay rights issues. The love of my family astounds me. Even when they don’t agree or understand where I am coming from, everyone is open to conversation in an effort to reach common ground. This is a beautiful thing.

A favorite quote of mine:

“In a word, we must create our own essence; it is in throwing ourselves into the world, in suffering with it, that – little by little – we define ourselves.”
– Satre”

photo by Kevin Truong

Kechi, in his own words: “Being gay is the ultimate quest of finding self-worth with or without the validation of outside sources. Be it family, piers, society etc. Just as well it means knowing who you are, what you’re about and what you are capable of despite what the world and your current situation tells you.

(With regards to challenges) Too many to count. But finishing college and coming out to my parents have by far been the hardest. Another challenge has been and continues to be knowing what exactly a gay, black/Nigerian, Christian man with aspirations of becoming a fashion designer looks like. The fact that I’m still seeking it despite the odds in a way is its own success.

The gay community in New York City is a lot of things good and bad; large, superficial, diverse, political, colorful, progressive, Eurocentric, intellectual, ageist, fabulous, transgressive, homophobic, spiritual, hedonistic and the list goes on. But ultimately it is what you make it. If you want to party and do drugs there are plenty of people who are more than willing to do that with you. And if you want to further your growth as an individual and are open to having new experiences there are plenty of folks to go down that path with as well.

(With regards to coming out) In a nutshell when I was 16 my mom caught me looking at certain materials on the internets. Ten years later not too much has changed. It’s more like the big pink elephant in the middle of the room that no one talks about. I’ve told them on more than one occasion that I am gay and I didn’t ‘choose’ to be so but they refuse to believe that. Both of my parents come from very conservative backgrounds so the likelihood of them ever truly accepting me as their gay son is slim. But what’s hope for anyway?

I would tell my younger self a couple things:

-Grow thick skin, because it will definitely come in handy.

-Finding a meaningful relationship at the club; very unlikely.

-Sex is great but it can get really old, really fast.

-The sooner you are able to disregard what others say and think about you the better off you’ll be.

-Do not fall victim of finding self worth in materialistic and superficial possessions as so many people have and continue to do.

-You’ll never be completely ‘out’ of the closet; it’s a life long process.

-Some weekends are better spent staying in whether alone or with the company of friends.”

THE GAY MEN PROJECT

The visual catalog of gay and queer men around the world.

Tag Archives: lgbt portraits

Eric, Clarinetist, New York City

Kechi, Designer, New York City