By the time I applied for college it was time to sow my wild oats – and not only did I end up in a school hours away from my family, I took the next step and enlisted in the U.S. Army. I wound up serving as a linguist halfway around the world, and of all places, where I was born, in Vietnam. My job gave me the opportunity to rediscover my roots and learn what it meant to be a gay Vietnamese man living in Vietnam. I learned that generally speaking, this majority Buddhist country was tolerant and understanding. Despite that, when I talked to individual people I got the sense that it was only okay to be gay if it wasn’t their son or daughter.

My experience coming out and being gay has been a bicultural one – tempered by growing up in the US but also travelling extensively and living in Vietnam. In many ways, my experience growing up in the US mirrors that of the LGBT community in Vietnam today. Nowadays, it’s still hard for gay people who are saddled with traditions and expectations. Unlike in other countries, there really are no support groups here. Most gay people in Vietnam are closeted and often end up marrying the opposite sex just to please their parents. With that said there are signs that things are changing. There is a growing gay scene in the private sphere- with many LGBT friendly venues popping up in the larger cities. I would like to see Vietnam have things like LGBT centers, suicide hotlines, LGBT-friendly sex education in secondary school and also be treated with respect from the mainstream media. Amazingly, there are even rumors that the government may soon legalize gay marriage – that would make Vietnam the first country in Asia to do so!

Hi, my name is Binh. I was born in Saigon in the early 80’s. By the age of 15, I came to Australia as an overseas student to obtain an education. I graduated from High School and then University as a Speech Pathologist. In my life, I have faced some challenges such as having to hide my sexuality and being told by others, at times, that I should have a girlfriend. However, the older I get, the more comfortable I become with my own identity.

I came from a poor family. My parents had nothing after 1975. They had to create everything from zero with no support. My mother was a Vietnamese typical woman: work hard; sacrifice her whole life to her children, to her husband and be a faithful wife. My mom had to manage anything in my family without helping from my dad. He made no care on what happen to his children and let them survive by their own ways. I had father but I had no looking after from him. I lived with two older sisters and one youngest sister. Hard living made us stronger and be more responsible for our family. From a weak, timid, reserved boy; I become an open, strong, confident, independent gay boy today.

When I was a teenager, I could recognize something different in my mind but I couldn’t explain what it was. You know, I had no knowledge about LGBT, had no internet, no means of media at that time in order to find out who I was. I had ever felt fearful of being a gay because I always thought that no one looked like me and it was disgusting if someone identified me. Until now, it becomes history and I feel more comfortable, happier when I know that is natural. The life of Vietnamese gay community is better nowadays. Some Vietnamese people have accepted us and consider us as other men. They don’t laugh at or don’t distance us from. Because they know that one of us can be their relative as well. We have club, bar … are only for gay and some organization fight to protect our benefit but they are small. Same-sex marriage in my country is still illegal.

Some gay men here have come out their nature to their family, friends. Some have sympathy and support, some have nothing and they may face to many difficulties for coming out because of their parents. The rest is not open gay. They look like straight and some of them may get married with girl to hide their real sex. To me, coming out is a tough decision. I can’t show this now because I don’t want to let my mom be sad and don’t want to see her cry. She will be extremely shocked if I tell her the truth. Coming out my matter now is a sin. I can’t. If I have a chance to go to another country where same-sex marriage is legal, I may change my mind because I can keep hiding my mom and find a relevant reason to persuade her.

Eastern society is not a place for gay community having a pleasure life as any gay life in Western one. Nowadays, we have Canada, Germany, Belgium, Netherlands, England, Some states of USA, Australia… have accepted LGBT. However, I can’t state a name from Asian countries that accept LGBT as well. I hope one day, Vietnam will turn our dream come true.

“We hold these truths to be self-evident, all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.” (United States Declaration of Independence)