Tag Archives: kevin truong

A Note from Terry, in Boston…

“I moved to Boston on January 4, 1994. I didn’t know anyone, didn’t have a job, and didn’t have much money (maybe enough to float me for a month). But, I did have a plan, more or less. I was going to study acupuncture and get a job at AIDS Care Project (ACP) – a public health clinic doing incredible work with Boston’s AIDS community. After losing my partner Stephan to the epidemic the year before, I wanted to help in the fight somehow. When I heard about ACP, it was a done deal – this is where I wanted to work.

I know my decision to leave Philadelphia was a bit impulsive, and bordered on the ridiculous. Aside from being poor, unemployed and alone, I knew nothing about acupuncture, never had a treatment, didn’t know anyone who had. I didn’t do any research on other schools, or explore other options for work. On top of all this, I’m a bad student and a chronic procrastinator who struggled through every science class I took.

None of that mattered. At the time, my focus was on getting out of Philly. I had to. The longer I stayed, the deeper I could feel myself sinking into a black hole of anger and depression. First, there were the continuous aftershocks of living in a town where every place I looked held another memory of my life with Stephan, and every friend’s face smothered me in sympathy. A ten minute walk through town was like crossing an emotional minefield.

To make matters worse, I had my family to deal with. Ten siblings, two parents, who never offered to help out when Stephan was sick. There were no cooked meals in Tupperware dropped off, no phone calls to see how we were, no one visited, nothing. They hid in the suburbs behind faith and fear while I watched, helpless and heartbroken as this once powerful dancer faded into a demented skeleton.

I knew that the only chance I had to heal the fractured love I felt for my family was to get away from them. Boston was the perfect distance.

So there I was, an AIDS widower in a new city, completely alone, jobless, and not 100% sure I could pull off this weird plan I basically hatched overnight. But for all of the fear and uncertainty I felt, I kept coming back to one thought. I had a community. And like every other GLBT transplant who moved to the city looking for acceptance, and support; I trusted Boston’s gay community to welcome of me, guide me, believe in me – and they did.

I graduated acupuncture school in 1998 and immediately started working at AIDS Care Project. Over the next eight years, I provided over ten thousand acupuncture treatments to Boston’s HIV/AIDS community. I was working on the front lines of the AIDS epidemic, with some of the most talented, dedicated clinicians in the field. Together, we developed treatment protocols that were changing people’s lives. It was an incredible experience that remains one of the best decisions I ever made.

And it was made possible because I had a community.

I can remember, six months after I moved to Boston, standing on the roof of an apartment on Tremont Street during Gay Pride with my new friends, in my new city, watching thousands of men and women celebrating; and I got it.…we create the unity in our community.

To find more of Terry Connell’s writing, check out his blog and first book “Slaves to the Rhythm” at www.terryconnell.net.”

photo provided by Terry

Kevin, Managing Director, Washington D.C.

photo by Kevin Truong

Kevin, in his own words: “For me, the heart doesn’t know the difference in race, sexuality, age, socioeconomic status, religion or really anything else for that matter; the heart only knows how I feel when I am in love. That love starts with loving yourself and every gay man has to go through the process of loving himself in a world where that love is not universally reciprocated. Coming out is a daunting, terrifying process but it is a liberation as well. Like a butterfly emerging from a chrysalis, coming out as a gay man changes everything and you are finally able to truly be whole and know that you are living a life of honesty and truth after spending so much time “hidden”. It eventually becomes important to recognize that your sexuality is important, but it is a facet of who you are as a person and all the pieces have to be nurtured to create a complete, happy person but that path is walked by each person in their own way, with their own uniqueness and at their own pace. My own path has had it’s ups and downs, but I am stronger and more confident having walked it than had I remained “closeted”. I wish for each gay man to find his inner strength and walk that path towards loving self-acceptance.

I have been so lucky to find a wonderful community of friends in DC that have become my family in so many ways. These beautiful, loving, caring, brilliant men have supported and bolstered me and each other to be confident and strong as gay men. When I moved to DC, I made that decision because I wanted to be in a city that had a strong community and I wanted to be a part of that community. I can say that the gay men in DC are a wondrous mix of diversity from all over the globe and that creates a really amazing community. The gay men here have a tremendous passion to positively affect change and there is a level of activism that is un-paralleled in many other places and that energy creates a sense of accomplishment and pride in who we are and how we are trying to lead change to strengthen our community.

Be true to yourself and never compromise on your needs and eventually, all will be as it should be…”

Renaud, Architecture Student, Montreal

photo by Kevin Truong

Renaud, in his own French words: “If a bullet should enter my brain, let that bullet destroy every closet door.”
– Harvey Milk

Être gay, c’est pouvoir creuser jusqu’au plus profond de soi-même et être capable de s’accepter, peu importe ce qu’on y trouve et découvre. Y faire face, l’assumer, et essayer d’en tirer tout ce qu’il y a de mieux. Le plus difficile pour moi fût de reconnaître et d’apprendre à vivre avec cette identité sexuelle qui m’est propre, que l’on qualifie de “différente”, mais qui m’est plutôt individuelle. Difficile de faire le deuil d’une vie normale, le deuil de fonder une famille; difficile de faire face à l’inconnu et de voir l’avenir comme une vertigineuse falaise. Toutefois, peu à peu, on apprend à grimper cette paroie qui nous apporte finalement sérénité, puis on contemple tout le chemin accompli en se disant que la route fût ardue, avec son lot d’embûches, mais que le sommet en vaut largement la chandelle.

Nous sommes tous humains, nous devons tous aimer et être aimés. Nous avons tous nos propres batailles et être gay, c’est d’avoir vaincu. C’est avoir vaincu sa crainte du rejet, sa crainte de la solitude, sa crainte des préjugés. Être gay, c’est ne pas avoir peur du regard des autres, c’est ne pas avoir peur du jugement, c’est de se tenir debout pour ses convictions. C’est d’enlever son masque et se montrer à nu. C’est de se battre pour ses droits. C’est de se rallier et s’unir pour montrer l’absurdité d’un fossé qui n’aurait jamais dû exister.

“Cause baby, you are born this way.” – Lady Gaga”