Tag Archives: kevin truong

A Note From Michael (BLCKSMTH), in Portland…

“My story is a little bit of a trip lately. Last year I’d been working retail management for 20 years, and suddenly felt an urge to paint, to write, to design, to do something, anything but what I was doing. I hadn’t been trained or gone to school for any of that stuff, mind you…I just needed to create, or die tryin’. So I did it: I left my job. I designed a couple of theatrical sets, opened my Etsy shop of my paintings, and started a blog about the experience, ww.BLCKSMTHdesign.com, where I feature my writing. The last year has been one of the most fulfilling, challenging, strange years of my life, and has helped define who I am as a gay man, and just a human being in general. Somewhere in that year I realized Los Angeles wasn’t a great fit for me, and so I moved to Portland, Oregon.

I like what someone else on this project said about Portland being “post-gay”: it’s really integrated, and sometimes that can be frustrating as a single guy. Going to a bar full of super-friendly dudes with beards can be a little like the “Where’s Waldo” of dating. But I wouldn’t trade it for anything. I feel like PDX is, at its best, a glimpse into the future of being gay in America: almost no “gay scene”, very few gay bars. A place where the idea of “coming out” seems more and more antiquated and unnecessary. Yeah, it’s a bubble, and yeah, one can get complacent, being so surrounded by like-minded people. When I visit my hometown of Albuquerque after having lived in Portland, I feel like I don’t even recognize it, or realize how conservative it truly was while I lived there. And my 12 years in Los Angeles was great, but it was also a bit of a pressure cooker. I didn’t realize how difficult it was to live there until I was in traffic one day, and thought, “It shouldn’t be this hard to just live, to just exist.” It was like the parable of the frog in the pot of slowly boiling water: LA turned up the heat so slowly right underneath me.

I’m glad I’m in cooler water now in Portland. I’ve experienced life as a gay man in a few different cities now, and I have to say this is the best time I’ve had. There’s something about the sincerity and authenticity of people in this part of the country that’s appealing to me, and this week I bought some vitamin D, small-batch local bourbon, and my first rain jacket in preparation for the upcoming downpours: I’m officially initiated to the PNW.

Portland, I am your adopted son.

photo by Summer Olsson

Ryan, Strategist, Washington D.C.

photo by Kevin Truong

Ryan, in his own words: “I often equate being gay to having a heart condition. Our hearts are so big that the extent of the lives we live – our work, our activism, and way we show love to one another is filled with a level of passion and creativity that’s far and beyond most mainstream expectations. Yes, while what makes me gay is my unquestionable attraction to men; being gay is taking this ever growing heart and putting it to good use.

(With regards to challenges) I’d say issues around self-acceptance. Which I’m fortunate to have moved forward and triumphed.

I love living in DC. It’s a big city filled with small towns, and the gay community intersects every neighborhood within – making ours a united and present force in an ever evolving city. DC is large enough to find a community you’re comfortable with, yet small enough not to be overwhelmed. When I arrived as your typical bright eyed intern and later returning for good, the focus was being out in the office – being present and upfront with your colleagues around your everyday life. To see so much change in 15 years – where Supreme Court Justices, cabinet secretaries and members of Congress reference their gay and lesbian staffers in changing their hearts and minds around issues of equality -shows the power of being present. It’s often the advice I give new residents – Be Present. This isn’t a city where the community greets you when you arrive, it’s up to you to reach out, connect and get to know others.

(With regards to coming out) Completing an internship, I was giving a tour of the city to a group visiting from Nigeria. We arrived in downtown DC in the midst of a traffic jam and I was forced to scramble to avoid any delays, so we trekked to Pennsylvania Ave., blocks away from the White House. I had no idea the traffic jam was due to DC’s large and popular Gay Pride parade – a first for me, and certainly the first for 30 West African youth workers experiencing their first full day in the United States.

I guided the group to our destination; awkwardly explaining drag queens, dykes on bikes and PFLAG to DC’s newest visitors. Arriving at our destination and later returning to our tour bus, three members of our party broke out into tears, sharing with me and their colleagues what a fortunate gift they were given in arriving to this country on this day. Seeing the truest form of American liberty, freedom of speech and freedom of assembly in a way no aged document or glowing monuments could every do.

To them, the emblems of Freedom, Justice and Liberty were the PFLAG moms, drag queens and bikers marching with pride and demanding their nation do better. In that moment, and later in quiet reflection, I came out to the most important person in my life…myself. Later coming out to friends and being outed to family actually made the best out of bad situations – in time. Yet, I always go back to that tour as a turning point. One that makes me aware of those who still struggle with coming out, our outreach to them, and this country, ever fighting to become a more perfect union.”

Ernesto, President and Founder, Washington D.C.

photo by Kevin Truong

Ernesto, in his own words: “Being gay has been an organic process. I share similar experiences to other men insofar that in my youth being gay might as well been a curse. Today,”equal” resonates more and more, which is just a validation of what I’ve fundamentally known all my life.

The coming out process happened in a slow and segregated manner for me, on a personal and professional level. Today, I am a married man, and while I often have to correct the assumption I am married to a woman, It’s exciting to be part of the paradigm shift from marriage being between a man and a woman to marriage is the union of two individuals. Professionally, from the days when everyone “knew” and waited for me come out, I am the owner of a gay owned and operated business. It doesn’t make me a better design professional, it speaks to integrity: I do not hide this part of who I am, so by association my clients have more to trust.

The LGBT community in DC is savvy, powerful and influential. I have the honor of serving as President of the Capital Area Gay and Lesbian Chamber of Commerce; The Chamber. It’s been a life affirming experience through the relationships with the individuals I’ve met in the organization, other LGBT community leaders and our Allies. The time I’ve invested in this organization pales in comparison to the bounty of what I’ve received in return.

My coming out story is painful. I fell in love with a wonderful person who didn’t love me in return, but circumstances kept us together for a long time. In many ways it pushed me further back in the closet and when the relationship ended I barely recognized myself. It took many years, but the lesson I learned has empowered me greatly; I have the option to say “no,” and walk away in any circumstance. Perseverance is a virtue, but it can also be a disguise for denial and avoidance.”