Tag Archives: kevin truong

Ray, Professor, Dallas

photo by Kevin Truong

Ray, in his own words: “Being gay means many things to me. As a child it was a stigma of shame. It was my scarlet letter and an object of my own disgust and disdain. Later, being gay was simply a biological expression, no different than height or hair color. However, in my 30’s I have come to embrace being gay as a gift of the Divine. I believe divinity has qualities of both male and female, that is both masculine AND feminine energy. So, to be gay means that I too possess both energies, and is therefore a divine gift given to me as I maneuver through the world.

For me, religion has been a paradox in my life and has served as the catalyst for my greatest challenge as well as my biggest success. As a child and teen I suffered from paralyzing insecurity. I felt as if everyone else had the key to living life well and somehow it had been kept secret from me. So, I looked to conservative religious understanding to give me a strict “how-to” guide to help alleviate my insecurity, live life and simply fit in. Needless to say this helped for a while but ultimately stripped me of my authenticity and left me upset and bitter. I eventually overcame this challenge, and now live life as authentically and honestly and I possibly can. To me, this is my greatest success. Oddly enough, the great success of authenticity couldn’t have been achieved without the comfort, encouragement and faith I often drew from the foundation of a religious upbringing (particularly in my darkest moments). Truly the paradox of life!

The gay community is Dallas is large and in many ways very active (Dallas’ local chapter of the Human Rights Campaign, The Federal Club, is annually a leader in fundraising for the HRC and the largest gay church in the WORLD is also located in Dallas), yet a word that is often used to describe the Dallas at large is “clique” and this is no different in the gay community. In many ways Dallas is still reminiscent of its segregated past…but today’s segregation happens not only across racial lines but across socioeconomic class, gender (gay vs. lesbian), geography (where you live in the city), and social groups. There are many clicks who rarely find the need to intersect with the others.

My coming out story is quite lengthy, so I’ll share the short version. I was raised religious; I was raised to be closeted, therefore I married very young (19 years old) and I had three children very young. I fell madly in love with a man. I could no longer go on with the farce….not to mention when I asked my wife for a divorce she went into my email and found a love letter to the gentlemen and confronted me with it….after which 99% of my friends distanced themselves, leaving me to recreate a new life…. high drama indeed (a screenplay waiting to happen)!

If I could tell my younger self one thing I would tell him to be your unashamed and unapologetic authentic self…no matter what!”

Shawn and Butch, Louisville, Kentucky

Shawn and Butch, photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

Shawn and Butch, photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

Shawn and Butch, photo by Kevin Truong

Shawn, in his own words: “For me being gay has defined freedom. It is totally enlightening to not feel like a “poser” or a pretender. Being gay has also given me strength! I am generally a lover, not a fighter, but you learn really quickly how to hold your own when you are “out of the norm” from others.

Challenges- there have been very few challenges involving being gay. I have really had an easy time with my homosexuality. I’ve never been beaten up or denied a job & I have a VERY supportive family. Of course as a young person I was called a faggot as early as the 3rd grade but if it makes you tougher…

Successes- I’m not sure that I can attribute any success to being gay, other than that because I came out so young, I had a head start on learning to love & accept myself. So perhaps any successes come through that &, again, an wonderful support system of family & friends & Butch.

I feel like Louisville has a very diverse gay community, but like any group of gays anywhere, we are just people. Some of us are partiers, some of us homebodies, some of us are sweet, some of us are nasty bitches. People are people. Overall Louisville has a very committed & supportive gay scene.

I came out to my friends when I was 15 & my family when I was 16. Much to my surprise my parents had the opposite reactions than I expected. My dad didn’t panic at all, he hugged me and told me that he loved me. In hindsight I think I remember seeing relief in his eyes when I told him. My mom on the other hand was upset & cried and only after a few days did she explain to me why she was so distraught. She was concerned that I would have a hard life & suffer some sort of indignities because I was gay. After the dust settled & she saw that nothing was any different, it was all okay.

I would tell a younger me to “pump the breaks” just wait because it will be sooooooo much better,”

Butch, in his own words: “The gay community has changed in Louisville in the years I have been here- this used to be the city a lot of gays would
come to in the weekend to go out and have fun- bars, dancing, etc. cause closing time here isn’t until 4am. But now- many people don’t feel the necessity to go to a “gay” bar to go out, since it is much more accepting openly now.

My (coming out) story is a lucky one because my family was and is very accepting. I did have friends that were thrown out by family after coming out- so I know how fortunate it is to have loving family members

(Advice I would give my younger self) Be yourself and be happy with who you are….. We could all be kinder to ourselves.”

Tim, Business Owner, Charlotte, North Carolina

Photo by Kevin Truong

Tim, in his own words: “Growing up in a very conservative Southern family, who attended an even more conservative Primitive Baptist church, I was constantly reminded that gays were going to hell and were the worst thing on Earth. In 1982, as the HIV/AIDS epidemic became more common in the press, my family told me all gays “Got AIDS and died”. Over the next 7 years I laid in bed at night, fearful that one day I’d die of an awful disease just because I was born gay. It was at the age of 15 I finally decided I just didn’t give a fuck anymore. I knew I loved God and realized He makes no mistakes; he created me just the way he wanted to! So I came out and moved on to more important things in life like glitter, rainbows, and techno music.

But seriously, I decided I was going to appreciate the life and mind that God had given me. I realized he would want me to appreciate everything about my life and live it to the fullest instead of disrespectfully ignoring what he had created.

Over the short 20 or something…. years that I’ve been alive I’ve realized that being gay isn’t the biggest or even an important part of my life…it’s just the most fantastic part! So here I am: being fantastic and fully “living” my life! Cheers and live who you are!”