Tag Archives: gay man

Paulo, Actor/Film Editor, Rio De Janeiro

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

Paulo, in his own words: “I think most people have a very wrong impression when it comes to the way gay people feel.

Take me for an example. I was raised in a family – a loving family – but they couldn’t really quite understand homosexuals. Besides, I used to live in a distant neighborhood, far from the only gay places I knew. When I decided to come out (to myself at least), I had to leave my comfort zone and disobey my traditional family rules, going in the opposite direction of what they had chosen and expected of me, concerning sexuality, social life and career. It was as if I had a double life: one at home and another one completely different, with my friends and the other people I knew. I often had to sneak out to meet them.

My father was the most sexist and homophobic person I have ever known and when I finally came out for him, at 26 years old, he proved to be the most understanding and loving parent. In spite of his prejudiced personality, a result of the education he had, he told me he studied for years and spoke with many people about homosexuality, because he realized I was gay when I was 16. He even said that he came to the conclusion it was something normal. I know how hard it was on him. I became very proud of myself and found the courage to show who I was, putting an end to my double life. This changed my relationship with my father and also our lives. Today I have a true friend.

All this made me a plural, open-minded and free person (I work each day for that, at least). I can say that a lot of good things that happened in my life was because I am the way I am, and had the courage to recognize this so that I could live the way I wanted to.

So, when people have the opinion that every gay person suffers a lot (and often just for being gay and not accepting themselves), I say that it is the opposite for me. I am happy for being gay and I say this proudly, without a shadow of a doubt. If I had to start my life from the beginning, I would rather be a gay man again, but maybe in a more tolerant place. Although Rio has evolved to some extent, it is unfortunately still full of hypocrisy and prejudice. It is acceptable to be gay at home, in private parties and in gay places. But it´s embarrassing the reaction of people if you, for example, kiss your boyfriend on the street or hold hands. I have even seen homosexuals judging this behavior, which I find incomprehensible. Sadly, Rio registers many cases of homophobic violence and it is possible to be a victim just by demonstrating affection in public.

The funny thing is that some people have problems with others being gay and think that they need to change. Me? I love my life the way it is. If I could have met myself before coming out I would have told me: be strong and go ahead. I wouldn´t change anything.”

In Portuguese:

“Acho que muitas pessoas têm uma visão equivocada de como muitos gays se sentem.

Eu, por exemplo, nasci em uma família que, embora amorosa, não sabia lidar e entender bem como eram os homossexuais. Além disso, vivia num bairro afastado da Zona Sul do Rio, único lugar onde eu sabia que havia lugares gays naquela época. Então, quando me descobri, tive que sair da minha zona de conforto e desobedecer as regras tradicionalistas da minha família, indo na contramão do que eles queriam pra mim, tanto em termos de sexualidade, quanto de vida social, profissão e etc. Eu vivia uma vida dupla. Uma em casa e outra na rua, com amigos e conhecidos. Tinha até que sair escondido de casa para estar com eles.

Meu pai era a pessoa mais machista e homofóbica que eu conhecia e quando eu me assumi pra ele, aos 26 anos, ele se mostrou o pai mais compreensivo e amoroso. Apesar de todo seu preconceito, que veio de sua educação, ele me contou que estudou anos e falou com muitas pessoas sobre a homossexualidade, porque se deu conta que eu era gay desde os meus 16 anos. E ainda completou dizendo que tinha chegado à conclusão de que era algo normal. Eu sei o quanto isso foi difícil pra ele. Fiquei muito orgulhoso de mim, por ter a coragem de mostrar como eu era, acabando com minha vida dupla. Isso transformou a minha relação com meu pai e também nossas vidas. Hoje eu tenho um amigo de verdade.

Tudo isso fez de mim uma pessoa plural, mente aberta e livre (cada dia trabalho mais pra isso). Posso dizer que muitas coisas boas que aconteceram na minha vida se devem ao fato de eu ser como sou e ter coragem para reconhecer isso e viver como eu quero.

Então, quando as pessoas têm a opinião de que todos os gays sofrem muito (e muitas vezes apenas por serem gays e por não se aceitarem), eu digo que para mim é o contrário. Eu sou feliz por ser gay e digo isso com orgulho e sem a menor sombra de dúvida.

Se eu pudesse escolher voltar a viver, eu escolheria nascer gay novamente, mas talvez em um lugar mais tolerante.

Apesar de no Rio ter havido algum avanço, infelizmente continua sendo um lugar preconceituoso e hipócrita. Você pode ser gay em casa, em festas privadas, em lugares gays. Mas é constrangedora a reação das pessoas se você, por exemplo, beijar seu namorado na rua ou andar de mãos dadas. Inclusive já vi homossexuais sendo preconceituosos com esse tipo de situação, o que pra mim é incompreensível. No Rio, se registra muitos casos de violência provocada por homofobia e é possível ser uma vítima simplesmente por demonstrar afeto em público.

O engraçado é que as pessoas é que têm problemas com os gays e acham que eles deveriam mudar. Já eu? Eu adoro minha vida do jeito que ela é. Se eu pudesse falar comigo antes de me assumir, eu simplesmente diria: força, vá em frente. Não faria nada diferente.”

Danilo, Assistant Opera Director, São Paulo

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

Danilo, in his own Portuguese words:

“Trecho da peça “Coração: Casafechada”
Exerpt from the play “LockedHouse: Heart”

Tó.
Cuida do meu coração?
Presta atenção,
ele é frágil e apodrece logo
Sem carinho ou refrigeração.

Por favor,
Cuida do meu coração?
Cuida, que ele insiste
e bate.
E se bate, é porque não sabe fazer diferente.
É carne nova.

Cuida do meu coração?
Ou como opção,
Faça bifes dele.

Mas se o for comer,
Que o coma cru.
Porque cru ele não responde
E frio ele fica macio e suculento
e realça-se seu sabor.
Sim, coma-o frio.

Porque se se aquece esse meu coração,
ele vai lutar para continuar vivo.
Todos sabem que coração quente é intragável.

Ele vai lutar contra seu estômago e duodeno
Vai entalar na sua garganta
Se instalar no seu ouvido médio e talvez até apodrecer na sua meninge.
Ele era bom aluno e prestava atenção nas aulas de biologia.
Sabe bem se virar.

Meu coração sabe lutar.
Mas cuida do meu coração?
Ele ainda é moleque e às vezes vira para o lado errado
bate em lugares tortos
e luta pelas causas erradas.”

Rafucko, Videomaker and Artivist, Rio De Janeiro

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

Rafucko, in his own words: “O que ser gay significa para você?

The simple answer for that is: it means the best thing there is, simply because it’s too much fun. But being gay made me feel in my own skin the prejudice many people suffer in our society – especially in Brazil. So it brought me closer to the fights for human rights.

The challenge is being myself despite everything and everyone and getting over people’s opinion about you. The success is understanding that the freedom to be whatever you want to be is worth more than money, status or any other material thing.

In Rio de Janeiro, “looking like” is more important than actually “being”. That rule is very strong amongst the gay community. Looking masculine, looking handsome, looking nice seems more important than being happy, being free, being as effeminate or as gay as you really want to be. It’s a bit uncomfortable and, comparing to other cities in the world, many gay men are very closed in their own groups and tribes (but the handsome men at the beach are really something, I have to admit, haha 🙂

It took me almost 20 years to come out of the closet. It was liberating – only after that I feel that I started existing. But it was also more simple than I could imagine and less dramatic as I thought it would be when I was inside the closet.

(If I could give myself advice before coming out, I’d say) Dont’t stay inside the closet longer than the necessary time to chose the right clothes. Outside is so much brighter, life is short and there’s a lot to enjoy out there. :)”