Tag Archives: coming out

Mussa, Outreach Worker, Cape Town, South Africa

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

Mussa, in his own words: “Being gay to me, means being who I am. I don’t see any strange thing in being gay as a human. Because in this world people are not the same. We should just respect one another as God’s creations.

In this world people face a lot of challenges but when it comes to a gay person, it is another issue. Discriminations, stigmas etc…but all of those things you should challenge them in accepting yourself first then you will have full access in dealing with other issues. Like family, friends, communities etc… the moment people stress you, and you allow stress to stress you, you will be stressed the entirety of your life. I believe that any one can have goals to achieve in his life, but so long with grace of God I am coping with any kind of situation which I never thought of. The success it is good thing in life. I can not say that I achieved everything in life needed, but what I can assure you is that I made a peace inside of myself.

My coming out story is so complicated. As I’m telling you, I am 37 years old but this year 2014, that’s when my family knew about my sexuality.

Coming out is not an easy thing, but I always believed that nothing was wrong about me, where by I never felt owing anyone an explanation of me being homosexual or gay. People talk a lot of things about the bible, but what I know is that homosexuals have been there from the start of creation. And I believe that again God is not a killer.

The gay community in Capetown is more broader (generally than in South Africa ). Having a government which recognizes human rights is a big step in keeping your nation at peace. Out of that, South Africa’s law, allowing marriage to the same sex couples even though there is still a lot to do for the community to feel it as normal life, but at least same saxes couples fill protected by the law.

The advice I would give to youths is that in life people love one another and people hate one another. So, they should be prepared for those kind of challenges and they shouldn’t fill ashamed or offended because of criticism, stigmas hate, will be always there until Jesus comes, if it will happen. And they should know that God loves each and every person. However he look like. God loves everyone and they should not keep themselves away from churches or public services which would uplift them for their daily life until a person dies.”

Renatto, Painter, Buenos Aires, Argentina

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

Renatto, in his own words: “A medida que pasan los años me voy dando cuenta que el significado de ser gay es muy importante, significa, libertad, alegría, significa liberarse de prejuicios, plenitud en todos los aspectos, si existe algo que agradezco a Dios, es que soy homosexual.
Soy el hombre mas feliz del mundo siendo gay, aunque como todo en la vida siempre tiene su pro y su contras, jamás cambiaria el hecho de que soy gay.
Ser Gay significa, libertad, plenitud y alegría.

El primer desafío importante que tuve fue hablar con mi padre y contarle sobre mi verdadera sexualidad, fue increíble sentir la aceptación de mi padre, eso, también fue un éxito
El segundo desafío es convertirme en un escritor y pintor reconocido en Buenos Aires, hoy por hoy sigo trabajando en este desafío, no es fácil abrirse camino en un país tan artístico y cultural como Argentina.

Argentina hoy en día es un país adelantado en cuestiones de respeto y tolerancia, nos hemos vuelto un país abierto a todas las formas de vida y sociedades, conviviendo juntas, pero no siempre fue así, yo soy uno de los miles de homosexuales en la Argentina que presenciamos la historia, cuando los legisladores aprobaron la ley de matrimonio para personas del mismo sexo, se creo el paradigma mas hermoso de todos los tiempos, ese fue el mas grande triunfo de mi vida, aunque fue el de todos; todos y cada uno lo vivimos de forma personal.

La gran diversidad de la comunidad LGBT en Argentina es asombrosa, jamás se podrá catalogar en un solo colectivo a las miles de forma de pensar de actuar y de vivir, pero a pesar de esa gran diversidad siempre tuvimos un mismo objetivo, alcanzar la tolerancia y el respeto social, en cada provincia de la Argentina las formas de vida de los homosexuales es muy diferentes, algunas mas vertiginosas que otras. Y aun que la capital, Buenos Aires, es el centro de todo, el país tiene una variedad de formas de vida que enriquecen la cultura de este lugar, mi nación, Argentina.

En este aspecto, debo decir que la federación argentina LGBT es un grupo de personas que abogan por los derechos de la comunidad homosexual y que hasta el presente han logrado cumplir metas muy importantes.
En Argentina la comunidad LGBT es cien por ciento activa, en muchos aspectos.

(With regards to coming out) Para poder decirlo públicamente, me costo veinte años de mi vida.
A mis veinte años yo sabia que era homosexual, quería llevar una vida gay, quería ser como Juan Castro un querido periodista argentino que ya no esta entre nosotros; pero para lograr ser un gay en toda su plenitud, yo sabia muy bien que el primero a quien debía decir la verdad era a mi querido padre.
Mi papá era uno de esos machos argentinos que enloquecía a las mujeres con su sola presencia, para mi no era fácil contarle algo así, sobre todo porque hace diez años atrás la argentina era un país muy diferente al que es ahora; fue entonces que pensé “si realmente soy un hombre honorable, debo hablar con mi padre y decirle la verdad.
Fue algo así:
Yo: -papá, soy gay, me gustan los hombres-
Padre: -ya lo sabia, desde que eras chico, y te quiero igual, eso no cambia nada-

Ese momento fue liberador, sentí como todo el universo se abría ante mis ojos, mi papá me dio un fuerte abrazo y lloramos juntos, después de eso, jamás volvería a sentir miedo de nada más.

Yo no soy quien para recomendar nada a nadie, pero si alguien quiere escuchar o leer un humilde concejo yo diría:
1 Siempre digamos la verdad
2 Jamás nos avergoncemos de lo que somos.
3 olvidémonos del miedo y seamos felices, trabajando por un mundo más tolerable.”

In English:

“As the years pass, I am realizing that the meaning of being gay is very important, meaning, freedom, joy, meaning freedom from prejudice, fullness in all aspects, if there is anything that I thank God for, it is that I’m gay.

I am the happiest man in the world to be gay, but like everything in life there has been its pros and cons, and I never would change the fact that I’m gay.

Being Gay means, freedom, fulfillment and joy.

The first major challenge I had was talking to my father and telling him about my true sexuality, it was amazing to feel the acceptance of my father, it was also a success.
The second challenge is trying to become a renowned writer and painter in Buenos Aires, today I am still working on this challenge, it is not easy to break into an artistic and cultural country like Argentina.

Argentina today is advanced on issues of respect and tolerance in the country, we have become open to all forms of life and country societies, living together, but it was not always this way. I am one of the thousands of homosexuals in Argentina who witnessed history when lawmakers passed the law of marriage for same-sex couples, the most beautiful of all paradigms in time was created, that was the biggest win of my life, but as with everyone, every person lived it personally.

The great diversity of the LGBT community in Argentina is amazing, and can never be categorized into one of the thousands of collective thinking of those acting and living it, but despite this great diversity there is always the same goal, to achieve tolerance and social respect, in every province of Argentina lifestyles of homosexuals are very different, some more dizzying than others. And even in the capital, Buenos Aires, which is the center of everything, the country has a variety of life forms that enrich the culture of this place, my country, Argentina.

In this regard, I must say that Argentina LGBT federation is a group of people who advocate for the rights of the gay community and so far has managed to meet important goals.

In Argentina the LGBT community is one hundred percent active in many aspects.

(With regards to coming out) to say it publicly, cost me twenty years of my life. In my twenties I knew I was gay, I wanted to live as a gay life, wanted to be like Juan Castro the beloved Argentine journalist who is no longer among us; but in order to become a gay in all its fullness, I knew very well that the first person to tell the truth needed to be my dear father.

My dad was that typical Argentinian man who drove women crazy just by his presence, for me it was not easy to tell him something, especially because ten years ago Argentina was a very different country than it is now; It was then that I thought “if I’m really an honorable man, I must speak to my father and tell him the truth.

It was something like this:
Me: Dad, I’m gay, I like men.
Father: – I already know that, since you were a kid, I love you and this is not going to change.

That moment was liberating, I felt like the whole universe opened up before my eyes, my dad gave me a big hug and we cried together, after that, I would never be afraid of anything.

I am not one to recommend anything to anyone, but if someone wants to hear or read a humble council I would (tell my younger self):

1. Always tell the truth
2. Never feel ashamed of who we are.
3. forget about the fear and be happy working for a more tolerable world.”

Octavio, Painter, Brasilia, Brazil

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

Octávio, in his own words: “Being gay means allowing myself to be who I am; it means not to worry about following some patterns or standards that are ruled and dictated by a homophobic society. Homosexuality is just one of so many characteristics that I have, just a part of me. Honestly, I’m more disturbed by my tendency to get a bit sweaty than being gay, talk about sweating the small stuff!

When I was thirteen, I discovered that I might be gay. At first I became really worried about that and tried to deny the possibility. At that time, I was living abroad and had no friends. So I decided to keep myself quiet and save this secret with me. When I came back to Brazil, I was enrolled in a military high school. By then I already knew that I was gay, but to blend – to be accepted and to preserve my “identity” – I started following and adopting straight customs. In this struggling environment, I joined my school’s glee club. It represented for me a place where I could strip off that behavior designed to fit in, and started being myself. There I met a girl who became my best friend. For the first time, with her, I opened myself and shared my secret about my sexuality. Her reception was the best I could expect, and I started feeling lighter from that day on. A few months later, I decided to talk about things with my parents. I was expecting a violent reception, perhaps even being kicked out of my home. To my surprise, I was accepted and embraced. At the beginning, they sent me to a neurologist, because they believed that I was mentally ill and that homosexuality was a disease. For one year, I had psychological counseling. Over time we discovered together that I’ve always been gay and that homosexuality is not a disease and nothing has changed in my behavior since I came out. Actually, I’ve became happier and more buoyant. Nowadays, my parents treat me with the same respect that they treat my two sisters that are straight. In our family we can speak openly about any subject now.

I was a very sensitive and creative kid, but during my oppressive and repressive adolescence, I left my creative side behind. After I came out, I started not to care anymore about the opinions of others about my choices. Like, I didn’t care if they thought choosing an artistic career could look like a ‘gay’ thing. So I started to chase my dreams. For two years, I studied Architecture and Urbanism at university, but I found my true calling and personal fulfillment in the visual and fine arts. I’ve discovered myself as a painter, and studied Art History during an exchange year at the University of Florence in Italy. I continually expose my art all over the world (and online using my website, www.octaviorold.com). In the beginning, I was afraid that my sexuality could impact on my audience; perhaps people would decide not to go to my exhibitions just because I’m gay. But I have found that art touches people, and our deepest essence as human beings doesn’t have prejudice.

Despite being comfortable with my sexuality, I’m generally not into dance clubs. I know that there is a really good gay environment in Brasilia and it has a lot of good options for those that want to have some fun. I think that Brasilia is a gay-friendly city, and I’ve never suffered explicit homophobic aggression in the form of verbal or physical abuse.

If I could give Tavinho (‘Little Tavio’) advice, I would tell him to try to be more confident and not to worry so much about following standards. I would tell him to live fully and let the universe be in charge of the rest.”