Tag Archives: coming out

Richardo, Web Administrator/Graphic Designer, Jakarta, Indonesia

photo by Kevin Truong

Richardo, in his own words: “Being gay for me is like a nature call. It comes from the deepest part of your soul. Some people can live with it, but some can not. Just like any other superheroes that have a special ability, they can show it, but they also can hide it. We can’t say that being gay is a choice, but to declare that “I’m gay” is a choice, and that’s not easy. No matter if you are gay, bi, or hetero, you’ll always be like that. No one can change and judge you. Some people can happily live with it, but some can not. It depends on how they see theirself and how people around them can accept it.

The greatest challenge in my life is to discover who you are, and trying to beat all the levels in your life. You know, sometimes it’s hard for us to get out from our comfort zone. Being who we are when many people are trying to see us as a treat, unusual, or worse- a freak. But that’s a life. People can talk bad about us, they don’t know who we are, just let them speak and do what you love.

Until now I still haven’t come out to my parents. But I think they already know about who I am. But well, my mom always supports me, she’s liberal enough, not like my dad. But I’m trying the best I can do to make them happy. I will show them that I can be someone someday and they will be proud of me no matter the sexual orientation that I have.

As always, be who you are. Love each other. When the world hates you, do not hate ’em back. Spending so much time throwing negative energy is useless, use it to build a better you. :)”

M, Academic, New Delhi, India

photo by Kevin Truong

M, in his own words: “I moved from one of the tiny corners of India to the capital, Delhi, nine years ago. This place has given me the opportunity to discover myself, to find friends, loved ones, and I am lucky enough to have been part of both queer academia and activism. Though I am out to almost all my friends here, I chose not to do so to my family and at my workplace. India is still a conservative country that still criminalises gay sex. It is risky being gay here but far better than many of the fundamentalist, homophobic nations. In the last many years, I have seen amazing change at an amazing pace in the way the LGBT movement has taken place in India. Owing largely to the rise of the internet and social media, things are changing at a lightning speed for the better. Now even school-going kids can talk and discuss about their sexual orientation on social media anonymously or otherwise which was unimaginable when we were in school. I have tried my best to reach out to other queer folks from different backgrounds in the capital city and have sensitized enough number of people and will keep doing so.

But being away from home and being all by yourself in a big city comes with a price. Especially when you spend your childhood in a lovely city full of natural beauty and primarily an agricultural economy where life was much more simple. While fighting homophobia has become my social responsibility, I fight urban loneliness on a personal level day and night. While my friends and well wishers keep my spirit up, I am still waiting for my prince charming who will marry me. I don’t care whether he comes on a white horse or an Aston Martin. He should come as soon as possible.”

Morten, Cultural Sociologist, Copenhagen, Denmark

photo by Kevin Truong

Morten, in his own words: ” In my personal experience dealing with love, life, and relationships is a bigger challenge than coming out, supposedly because I live in a part of the world with a more relaxed attitude towards sexual and gendered minorities.

Fighting for sexual and gender identity rights is also important here. However, the activism performed too often risks to reproduce LGBT-people as poor creatures and victims of evil discriminators.

Instead of opposing each other, we should maybe build on the similarities in the experiences and challenges in our lives, regardless of sexual orientation or gender identity. The ‘straight’ and ‘normal’ life is rarely so close to ‘normality’ as we are told. I do very often have more in common with heterosexual people than with people from the LGBT community, but I consider myself as an ambassador to my way of living in what I say and what I do each time I am together with heterosexual people.”