I’m lucky enough to live in an accepting environment (family, friends, work) and in a big city, so I don’t really think about it very often. I don’t make such a big deal of it, at least at this stage of my life.

But if I’m lucky enough to be accepted here, I know it’s not the case everywhere. I’m very worried when I read reports on homophobia all over the world (including France). There is still a long way to go.

I think that for most people, one of the biggest challenges is to accept who you are and embrace it. Accept your differences whether it’s being gay in a mostly straight world, or whether it’s being Asian in a Western country. My challenge was to find my own balance. The challenge is perpetual but as I’m growing old, I learn to care less.

(With regards to coming out) It happened when I was a bit more than nineteen and still a student. I was living with my parents in the suburbs of Paris. At the time, I was already seeing my boyfriend and staying over at his place, in Paris. My mother was probably thinking that I was spending too much time in the city. More than what my studies required anyway. So she started to have doubts.

When she asked me, I told her the truth. She was extremely upset and for the next two weeks, she barely spoke to me. Surprisingly enough, my father was the one who tried to calm her down. As gays, we are often worry about our fathers’ reaction, but it turns out that, sometimes, fathers understand more, or faster. Go figure why. Anyway, after two weeks, one evening, I came home and found my mother unexpectedly in a good mood. And on top of it, she had prepared one of my favourite Vietnamese meals, one that takes time. In our culture, or at least in our family, we often express our feelings with food rather than words. And there, I could sense something had changed. Indeed, during that week-end, my mother told me that it occurred to her that she had to accept and love her children as they are. And that was it. It wasn’t that bad after all!

I’m not sure I’m an expert on (the gay community in Paris) since I don’t go out a lot and am not totally immersed in the gay community or connected to the LGBT organizations. I used to write for gay media when I was younger and I’m still interested in gay issues but I’m not sure I’m the best person to comment on the gay community. Today, my network of friends is a mix of gay, straight, young and old people from various worlds. That’s my « community » in a way.

Ma plus belle réussite a été de pouvoir m’installer à Paris, seul et de vivre de ma passion. J’ai une chance inouie de poursuivre mon rêve. Le soutien familial est très important et je les remercie infiniment d’être derrière moi.

Le gros challenge a été de manifester pour le mariage gay. Beaucoup de gens ont milité pour que les jeunes de ma génération soient mieux intégrés, moins rejetés. Ils ont parfois dû affronter pire que ce à quoi nous avons fait face. Le chemin est déjà tout tracé mais il reste des choses à faire, alors si je peux faire partie des prochaines victoires et d’un avenir meilleur, je n’hésite pas.

J’ai annoncé à ma mère très tôt que j’étais attiré par les garçons. Elle est chorégraphe, donc elle a côtoyé beaucoup d’homosexuels. Elle en a même aidé à faire leur coming-out. Mais elle n’a pas réagi de façon très positive avec moi. Elle pensait avoir raté quelque chose en tant que mère. Et puis, elle s’est renseignée, elle a lu des bouquins, elle a fait face à sa peur de l’inconnu. Elle a compris au final que ce qui l’importait plus, était mon bonheur.

Quelques années plus tard, je l’ai annoncé à mon père également. Etant plus mature, j’ai pu amener la chose autrement qu’avec ma mère. J’étais très clair dans mes propos, très sûr de moi. Peu importe sa réaction, ça ne changerait rien à mon bonheur de savoir qui je suis. Il l’a pris avec beaucoup de philosophie et cela nous a énormément rapproché lui et moi.

Le milieu gay évolue pas mal à Paris, on observe une désertion du Marais. Certains lieux ferment malheureusement, comme des libraires, pour laisser la place à de grandes insignes… Plutôt que d’attirer, ça fait fuir la plupart. Il est toujours agréable de s’y balader, d’y boire un verre. Mais les gays migrent un peu ailleurs. Mais ce qui me plaît énormément dans ce milieu, c’est la diversité, tout le monde est différent. Je rencontre des personnes de différents métiers, âges, rangs sociaux. Depuis le mariage gay, il y a une autre énergie également entre nous. Plus de soutien, de bienveillance, moins de jugements entre les gays eux-mêmes.

My biggest success was to live in Paris, alone and for my passion. I am really lucky to purchase my dream. My family’s support is really important and I thank them a lot for that.

The challenge was to fight for gay Marriage equality. So many people did a lot for my young generation, so we can be better in this life. Sometimes they had to go through worse things than us. There is still a lot to do but If I can be a part of the next victories and a better future, I don’t hesitate.

I told my mother really early that I liked men. She is a choreographer, so she has met a lot of gays. She helped a few for their coming-out. But she didn’t react that well with me. She thought she had missed something as a mother. And then she learned, read books about it, she faced her fear of the unknown. She understood that what was most valued, was my happiness.

A few years later, I told my dad. I was more mature, so I handled it better than with my mom. However he would react, it wouldn’t change a thing about my happiness and who I am. He took it with a lot of philosophy and we became closer.

The gay community evolves in Paris. “Le Marais” is deserted by us. A few places are closing, libraries, for bigger spots… And it’s not for the best, it makes us leave! But it’s still nice to walk over there, have a drink. Gays are going in other places.

What I like the most in this community is the diversity, everyone is different. I meet different kinds of people, doing different jobs, different ages, social ranks. Since Gay Marriage equality, there is another energy between us. We feel more together.