Tag Archives: coming out stories

Tomáš, Process Analyst, Bratislava, Slovakia

photo by Kevin Truong

Tomáš, in his own words: “(Being gay) is a part of who I am. I tend to consider it as a fact, the same as I have blue eyes or brown hair.

One of my greatest challenges (and success as well) was the struggle to accept myself being gay. It took a few years of my life to understand it, accept it and finally even like it. I’ve made some great mistakes when I was living with my ex in Prague, so another great struggle is to correct them and atone for them. I am also thinking of starting my own business, but struggle with the fear of uncertainty. And last but not least is finding a husband who would accept me as I am, help me to overcome my faults or bad habits, but won’t let me down just because of them.

Actually, there are several (coming out) stories depending to whom I’ve came out:

Considering my friends, they were the first. I had fallen in love with a schoolmate – he was a professional bicyclist, and very handsome and muscular, so I one day I told him of my feelings. Of course it wasn’t mutual, he was heterosexual, but thanked me for the bravery and we became good friends.

Considering my closest friends, I prepared a riddle for them, which I silently hoped they would never decipher. Actually, as Google started to be very popular at the time, it took them only about 20 minutes.

Considering my mother, it was one day after school. I had been chatting by SMS with some guy I recently discovered on the website. I came to a toilet and let my phone unguarded in my room. When I returned, I found my mum was reading my SMS messages and asked directly if I’m gay. So I responded with the truth. It took her about two weeks to accept it and start speaking to me again. However, she has never stalked another person’s phone since then.

To my father, I came out during one of my fights. I actually used the information to hurt him, but he told me he already knew it and we moved on to fight about another topics.

The gay community in Bratislava is complicated, and quite promiscuise. I guess it has something to do with fact that the Slovakia is a quite Catholic and nationalistic country with many prejudices towards people who are different in any kind of the meaning to this word. You won’t see guys holding each other hands or kissing in the streets; quite common is that guys do sleep with other guys on Saturday night and on Sunday morning they go with their parents to the church.

(Advice I would give to my younger self) would be kind of “you are who you are, so stop hating yourself.”

André, Administrative Assistant, Lima, Peru

photo by Kevin Truong

André, in his own words:“Pies, ¿para qué los quiero si tengo alas para volar?” – Frida Kahlo.

“No me gusta nombrarme como gay, prefiero ser marica, maricón, cabro o rosquete, porque esos términos me colocan en una posición marginal, no blanca, no masculina, sin dinero e irrespetuosa con la sociedad, y desde ahí empiezo a construir mi discurso y activismo.

Para mi fue bastante fácil salir del closet, lo hice a los 14 años cuando mi mamá me preguntó “¿Hay algo que me quieras contar?” y respondí “Sí, me gustan los hombres”. En ese momento me sentí libre y podría decir que empecé a ser completamente yo. Luego entendí que todo esto sucedió después de la muerte de mi padre, porque él era muy machista y homofóbico, esas eran unas de las razones por las que yo seguía en el closet.

Tengo desafíos todos los días al transitar por las calles de Lima, esperando no ser insultado o violentado por vestirme y comportarme como se me antoja, pero le agradezco a las maricas que lucharon para que yo pueda transitar, ahora nos toca a nosotras seguir construyendo un país donde se respeten nuestras vidas y garanticen nuestros derechos.”

In English:

“Feet, why do I want them when I have wings to fly?” – Frida Kahlo

“I hate to identify myself as gay, I’d rather be a fag, fagot, queer, goat, because those terms placed me in a marginal position, not white, not male, penniless and disrespectful to society, and from there I began to build my discourse and activism.

For me it was quite easy coming out, I did it at age 14 when my mom asked me “Is there anything you want to tell me?” And I said “Yes, I like men.” At that moment I felt free and I could say that I became full. Then I realized that all this happened after the death of my father, because he was very macho and homophobic, those were some of the reasons why I was still in the closet.

I’m challenged every day to walk the streets of Lima, hoping not to be insulted or violated by dressing and acting in the way that I want, but I thank the fags who fought for me to move, now it is up to us to continue building a country where our lives are respected and our rights ensured.”

Joseph and Jason, Graphic Designer and Chef, Lima, Peru

Joseph and Jason, photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

Jason and Joseph, photo by Kevin Truong

photo by Kevin Truong

Jason and Joseph, photo by Kevin Truong

Jason and Joseph, in their own words: “(Being gay means)That I like men, I guess.

(With regards to challenges) Well sometimes people can be really stupid. But it’s not their fault, there just has to be education and mutual respect. We’re not asking for permission.

(The gay community in Lima is) small, divided, and to some extent, comforting.

(With regards to coming out) Joseph: My family always knew.
Jason: At first it was a shock, but then one day my mom said “if he’s ugly I won’t like him.”

(Advice we’d give our younger selves) Be true to yourself, you’re not alone on the world.”

THE GAY MEN PROJECT

The visual catalog of gay and queer men around the world.

Tag Archives: coming out stories

Tomáš, Process Analyst, Bratislava, Slovakia

André, Administrative Assistant, Lima, Peru

Joseph and Jason, Graphic Designer and Chef, Lima, Peru